


Slice Of A Very Unpredictable Life

by MunchkinPumpkin



Category: Bull - Fandom
Genre: Discussion of Abortion, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mpreg, Platonic Relationships, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2018-12-03 00:50:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 46,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11521062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MunchkinPumpkin/pseuds/MunchkinPumpkin
Summary: Bull/Benny mpreg fanfiction. One night, celebrating a successful win of a particularly stressful and tasking case, emotions high, Bull and Benny fall into a lustful trap. Now they must deal withe consequences of their irresponsible act.Cheaky extract ;)“I'm no medical professional but, men don't get pregnant, Doc.” Benny began to believe that his doctor had become senile in his old age, whilst somewhat funny, widely unhelpful in solving his issue.“Improbable, not impossible. Statistically, it is extremely rare. I've only ever heard of a few cases, it's estimated that one in every 800 million men are able to carry children.” Benny pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head amusingly.“You're telling me, that it is not only possibly for men to get pregnant, but that I may be one of those freak ‘one in 800 million’?” Benny stood off of the bed and pulled his shirt back down. He was astounded by the ludicrous things his doctor was spitting out, he began questioning his professionalism.Will be re-working and editing in the near future; so let me know what you think~





	1. And Thats When Life Took Its First And Second Turn

 

 

 

It had been six weeks since that night, six weeks since that highly intoxicated and idiotic night. A night that wrecked the dynamics of their relationship, he had slept with his boss, Bull. Caught up in the emotions of the night, being arrested by the FBI and being angry with Bull for deceiving him, he'd gotten ridiculously drunk. Too drunk for rationale which led to his remarkably stupid mistake. Admittedly Benny had vented his pent up stress with the devil's drink, as did many others, including Bull. Instead of becoming a mess, the liquor gave Benny unbelievable confidence; confidence to stand up for himself and confront Bull.

Benny hadn't made the first move but he also didn't reject his boss's advances. Bull had explicitly explained his motives but Benny carried on about wrecklessness and irresponsibility, Bull intervened with a kiss. Whilst the memories from that night were hazy Benny had remembered the spark and the surging content. The moment should have stostopped there but instead the moment stampeded and before he knew it the two were locked inside Bull's office with the blinds closed up against the desk. Rather, Benny; pressed against the desk, bent exposed. He liked it; something about it seemed right and needed - at least at the time in question. It had hurt; it was sticky and gross, and widely uncomfortable. He loved it. He was a good Catholic boy, but we all know about how 'good' and innocent Catholics really are.

In the morning, however, not so much. He'd woken up on the sofa, covered in a blanket; all alone. From the instant he opened his eyes regret washed over him, along with strong nausea and a head ache. Benny had begun to feel uncontrollably bashful, as he peeped through the gaps in the blinds, everybody stood surrounding the office. He managed to face the crowd, to only be met with abrasion. Pulled back into the office, Bull had explained that their encounter last night was a blunder, to never be mentioned, that they were still, 'just friends'.

Benny somewhat resented Bull's approach to their connection, treating something amazing as just a simple slip up, that would be easy to brush under the rug. Benny, for one, wasn't likely to forget what had happened so quickly. A sore backside and bruises on his hip bones and shins was a long-lasting reminder of that stupid night.

Benny thought about that night often, pleasuring himself to it on occasion. Yet, his relationship with Bull had taken a blow. Things were awkward and neither made much effort to communicate, it had made Benny frustrated to the point of sleeping with a client for some attention. Even still Bull remained distant and eventually Benny stopped confiding in Bull and his work became slack.

Today would seem like none other, nothing different. The usual routine; Benny would get up and have a shower and get dressed, drink a coffee on the commute to work and half heartedly show up at the office. Benny summed his new found fatigue up to his lack of motivation; he snoozed his 6 AM alarm three times and woke up begrudgingly at quarter past 7.

Feeling slightly lightheaded, he gripped the foot of the bed for sturdy support. He took a deep breath and rubbed his chest, he'd been struggling with heartburn quite frequently for the last two weeks and it was starting to become overwhelming. Still, he pressed on. Missing his morning shower and simply wiping his face with a cloth and putting gel in his hair. He didn't look fresh, but he didn't look half bad either. A clean suit and a fresh smile masked his tiredness.

Benny hailed for a taxi and hoped in as one pulled up. He gave the driver the address and they were on their way, the bumps and dips in the poorly managed roads made his stomach flip and churn. He groaned slightly but eagerly tried distract himself with the rustle of the busy streets passing by. He couldn't have been more rejoiced when the taxi stopped; Benny forked over the 20 dollars and bid the driver a good day.

Benny's stomach hadn't eased up, its discomfort became audible, letting out loud rumbles and whines. Ignoring the noises, Benny walked into work and clocked in. He was half an hour late, a pattern of tardiness had stolen his punctuality record, yet he didn't actually care. Benny followed his way to the elevator and pressed the button. The two grey metallic does slid open and people rushed out, Benny stepped in and pressed the appropriate level. The lift jerked and squealed concerningly, like usual. However, the motion of the elevator reaped havoc on his stomach, before he knew it, his stomach had lurched and a hand flung to his mouth. Sure enough, he was about to vomit.

Rushing passed those waiting to get on, bashing into a few shoulders as he ran unconsciously to the bathrooms. Eyes watched him make his way, frowning concerned. Benny threw open the door to the first bathroom stall and flung his bag on the floor. Unmanageable amount of vomit erupted from his stomach, most of which were the remains of last night's Indian. It had been a terrible meal to begin; having to experience it twice was no laughing matter. Despite how much he emptied his stomach, the burning feeling of intense nausea wasn't subsiding.

Meanwhile, a worried coworker hurried to find somebody to help, stumbling across Chunk, "Colón is in the bathroom, sick." He panted.

"Benny?" Chunk seemed sceptical and confused, never had he seen Benny sick or otherwise in ill-health, "alright...I'll check on him." He held with him two new pressed suits, carried by the hook of the hanger. Chunk manoeuvred through the people in the hall until he reached the bathroom, already be could hear the sound of violent retching. Opening the door, he quietly approached the stall; others hovered around the door listening curiously. "Nothing to see here people." Chunk shooed the nosey ones away.

"Chunk?" Benny enquired, whilst disgustingly puking up bile.

"Yeah, it's me. You alright in there?" He picked up Benny's bag from its trapped position underneath the door. He grimaced with every stomach wrenching yak.

"Peachy." The one syllable response was all he could muster, it seemed as though nothing was coming up anymore but he still continued to battle with episodes of dry heaving. He was sweating and sort of crying from frustration and weakness.

"Can I, erm, come in?" Not waiting for a reply, he hooked the suits on the back of the door and opened it gingerly. Benny sat up against the side of the stall, in an absolute state. His hair had fallen flat, drenched in sweat and his skin turned a ghostly pale. Chunk closed his eyes and reached over to flush the toilet. "Care to enlighten me as to why you've been acting weird lately?" Benny sighed heavily, "don't try lying to me either; Bull isn't the only one who knows what's what."

"It's probably just something I've eaten. I'll be alright." Benny reassured, Chunk sassily shot Benny a 'yeah right' glare, probing for more information.

"C'mon, spill it. You've not been the same in weeks." Benny took a big dry gulp of saliva, pushing down whatever was snaking is way up his oesophagus. Luck had not blessed himthis morning and his efforts had been ignored, barely making it back to the bowl before he puked once more. Chunk rubbed his friend's back, filled with empathy.

"Tissue..." Benny muttered, "Tissue..."

"Tissue?" Chunk unraveled some tissue from the roll, "here". Benny pulled his head up from the bowl; sick dripped from his chin and embarrassingly ran from his nose. He felt like death personified.

"I can trust you, Chunk." His stomach settled once more, allowing him to collect his thoughts and take a breath, "I haven't told anybody this..." He blotted the sweat on his forehead with the cleanside of the tissue.

"You can tell me anything, you know that." Chunk pulled his trousers up at the legs and took a very uncomfortable and cramped position on the floor next to Benny, ignoring the cost of the suit and the hygiene - or there lack of - of the floor.

"Six or seven weeks ago, something happened that I'm not all too proud of. I was drunk and slept with somebody that I shouldn't have." Chunk laughed slightly, astonished by Benny's innocent nature.

"Why do I have a bad feeling abouy this?" Chuck laid a hand on Benny's shoulder reassuringly. Benny shook his head, flooding disappointment engulfed him as became negatively nostalgic, and a once pleasant memory had been turned into something to be ashamed of.

"This was bad," The words choked in his mouth, spitting them out was proving to be quite the challenge. Admitting it so openly made it all too real, but he couldn't bare the burden of keeping such a giant secret, "I slept with Bull." Benny made ice cold, emotionless eye contact with Chunk.

"Oh." It came as quite a shock, "no wonder the atmosphere has been so tense." An easy observation that nearly everybody had picked up on but never been able to explain, "Is there anything going on between you two now?"

"No. It was a one night kind of deal." The knots in his stomach had begun to untangle, it felt like such a huge relief to finally be taking about his issues. If anything, it cured his nausea.

"Bull doesn't seem like that kind of guy." Whilst Bull was highly secretive about his ventures outside of work, his behavior had been off recently, it seemed obvious that he was dating but nobody could figure out who.

"Yeah, well..." Benny scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"I take it you aren't satisfied with this 'deal'?" Chunk had picked up on Benny's overtly annoyed body language.

"Of course, it was a stupid, drunken mistake. But pretending it didn't happen isn't the solution." Since that brisk conversation in Bull's office the morning after, that might hadn't been mentioned again but it hung over his head and he could tell Bull was bothered by it. Their lapse of sanity was eating away at their friendship and was destroying their professional relationship. Benny couldn't work under these conditions any longer.

"I agree, you need to talk to him. Try and ease some of that hostility in the air, it's so thick you couldn't even cut it with a chainsaw, believe me." Benny scoffed, he hadn't realised it was so obvious, he always tried to mask his feelings and he thought he was doing well. Benny held out a hand, asking for assistance to stand. Chunk slowly pulled his friend off of the floor, "maybe you should give today a miss? Seems like you need to be at home over your own toilet rather than these filthy things."

"Nah, I'll be fine. I'm alright now." Benny hadn't even thought about the state of the toilet, at one point he had his cheek resting on the seat. The thought made him cringe.

"Why are you so stubborn?" Chunk passed Benny his bag and they both left the stall.

"I learned from the best." The two chuckled, having somebody in mind, of whom influenced them both. Benny glanced at his reflection in the mirror, he tugged and pulled at his skin, "I look awful." Grey bags under his eyes, swollen cheeks, pale complexion and a wet mess of hair.

"You're ill; you're allowed to look ill." Benny tutted, there wasn't anything he could do to change his appearance now and had to accept it, "hot mess." Chunk teased.

"Yeah, yeah." Benny smiled bashfully as they left the bathroom; of all people to come and comfort him, he was glad it was Chunk. Eyes watched as the two strolled into the office, fashionably late.

"Where have you two been?" Marrissa broke away from her computer screen, greeting her colleagues. Her eyes fixated on Benny, curious but not prying as to why he looked so drained.

"Nowhere." Benny cut in before Chunk could reply with an honest answer. Bull cocked a disbelieving brow and glanced between the two late arrivals. He wasn't stupid; he knew the two had been up to something that he'd been left out of again.

"You alright Bennz? You look kinda fried." Cable took one look at Benny and and cut through the awkwardness in the air. It wasn't in her nature to idly sit by, probably because of her robust youth.

"I'm exceptional." Benny watched with little or no reaction from Bull, who hadn't even turned to look at him, or take any interest in his wellbeing - some friend.

"Let's get on with some work now, shall we?" Benny rolled his eyes at how Bull shrugged off the situation. Yet, he didn't have the courage to call his boss out on his ignorance. Instead he took off his coat and took a seat, if Bull wanted to work, that's fine. The exchange -or lack of- was noticed by the rest of the group but neither wished to intervene.

The rest of today maintained at a stable medium of disappointment, this morning had repeated itself and Benny found himself throwing up a grand total of three times more throughout the duration of the day. By the time the day was over, Benny was physically exhausted, he shook uncontrollably and could barely walk in a straight line.

"I called you a taxi." Bull approached Benny, who had his head rested on his desk. He'd lost track of time sleeping, unintentionally.

"Hu?" Benny came to, and effortlessly lifted his head up, it felt heavy on his small neck, "oh, right." He replied; surprised to see Bull standing over him, "thanks." Bull hasn't spoken to him in just over a week, not in a nice way anyway.

"If you're like this tomorrow, don't come in." Bull's voice seemed sturn but his face seemed almost compassionate, which was a remarkable improvement.

"Believe me, I won't." Benny smirked, knowing he had sick days he had accumulated over the year; he could rest easy knowing that if he felt the same tomorrow, he would not be coming into work. At least at home he could sit in his favourite dressing-gown and lay in bed.

"Get well Benny." Bull watched Benny walk out, without a response. He hardly blamed him, it's not like he's been all that supportive today, but something in his psyche had prevented him from making the connection. He could tell Benny resented him for it.

Sure enough a taxi sat out front of the building. Benny couldn't have been more thankful to just sit and go. Bull had already paid the fare so Benny sleepily staggered out of the taxi and swept up to his apartment. He dumped his coat and bag on the door step and kicked off his shoes. Not even putting on pyjamas, he collapsed into bed.

Waking up the next morning, Benny was stiff. His neck was cramped and his shoulder felt numb. Dry patched of drool smered across his right cheek evidently showed how deeply he slept. The brightness shining through the curtains was blinding for 6AM, making it impossible to sleep any longer despite how desperately he wanted to.

Hence why, it came as no surprise that it wasn't actually 6AM but 10AM. He'd slept through his alarm and through his phone's constant reminders. He wondered how he could still feel so exhausted after sleeping for little more than 12 hours, twice his usual amount of sleep. He turned onto his back and stared blankly at the ceiling. He rubbed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair, moving them from his face. Doing so he realised how sweaty he was and how greasy his hair had gotten.

Having a shower was the first thing on his list, hoping that it wake himself up a little more. With a heavy sigh, he reluctantly got out of bed. Dragging his heels as he walked towards the bathroom, he turned on the hot water and began to strip off. He caught a glimpse of his profile in the mirror. Stopping to take notice of how bloated he looked. Admittedly, he didn't have rock hard abs, but there was a remarkable difference in his figure, which he shrugged off as being a symptom of whatever he was suffering from. Although, he knew that he needed to free up more time to exercise during the day.

After cleaning himself up, he dried himself with the towel and put on a fresh pair of pajamas; not seeing the need to put on anything else, just a crappy old pair of jogging bottoms and a t-shirt. A shower was the perfect thing, making him feel better and a little less dead. So much so, he no longer dragged his feet but practically skipped to the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. Being the busy man he was, a coffee machine was the best investment he'd ever made. In under a minute he had a perfectly brewed coffee.

He brought the mug over to the sofa and threw his body onto the chair. It was a rarity having such leisure time. He didn't completely know what to do with it, would he watch TV, would he go out for the day, or simply sit in and read a book? He knew one thing; that he was hungry! Having technically not eaten for almost two days, his stomach was protesting with anger, ' _feed me!'._

"Alright, alright, I hear you." Benny acknowledged his hunger. He opened the fridge doors and shifted through what he had in stock, pulling out: bacon, cheese, margarine and the bread from the lower draw. A bacon sandwich sounded incredibly appealing.

The smell of fried bacon was something he long missed, and the sweet sizzle made his hunger ravenous. He fried the bread and slapped on some cheese, making a perfect grilled sandwich. Whilst it was still piping hot, fresh from the pan, Benny took a greedy bite; scoring the roof of his mouth. He had no regrets. The sandwich didn't quite make it back to the sofa, he'd eaten it so quickly but at least he wasn't hungry anymore.

Channel surfing, Benny came across an old past time, The Jery Springer Show. He knew he was above watching such drama but the temptation was too real, before long, Benny had become engrossed in the action, booing and cheering along with the audience. That is until, heart burn took over. He had some antacids in his cupboard ready to take to help neutralise his stomach acid. Benny pulled the bottle out of the cupboard and ran himself a glass of water, he clamped down on the work surface, as the heartburn shifted to a surging nausea. Taking deep breaths, he tried to ride out the urge.

Again, it would seem, that whatever had gotten to him, was about to attack again. He rushed to the bathroom, and collapsed onto the floor in front of the toilet, purging again and again, uncontrollably. At least today, the toilet he was hugging was his own - a small victory. He presumed he'd been in there for at least an hour before he could safely pull himself away. He cursed himself for eating so quickly, everybody knows that you're supposed to fast after being ill, and of all things he had eaten meat and cheese. _'That's it'_ , he promised, _'no more food'._

Not that it did all that much good; he still spent the majority of the day chucking up the remainder of his stomach and then some, including a tidal wave of coffee. When the usual dinner time came around, Benny was starving but made no attempt to eat, he just filled up on water - sometimes too much water which coincidentally came straight back up.

His empty stomach, providing no nutrients to his body, made him extremely tired. Exhaustion had crippled him and left him ridden to the sofa. He fell asleep almost instantly at close to 6PM.

The next three days were practically identical, the nausea and vomiting hadn't subsided and Benny began to wither away. Having not eaten anything in days, he was exhausted permanently, no matter how much sleep he got every night. Today however, he had decided enough was enough. He had to go to the doctor and get some kind of medication or have his stomach pumped if need be. Benny woke up at 7AM to call his doctor and arrange an emergency appointment. Luckily he managed to get one for the very same day with a great deal of haggling.

Benny took a handful of antacids before leaving the house; he would give anything to not need to throw up on the way there. Thankfully the road less travelled was better managed and as such was less bumpy and uneven. Benny paid his fare and hurried inside, not wanting to be late for his appointment, knowing that he wouldn't get another one any time soon.

"Benny Colón, here to see Dr Hutson." The elderly lady kept her head fixed on her computer screen. She tapped away at her keyboard, looking up only briefly to verify the picture on file.

"Take a seat." The last replied groggily. Benny didn't blame the woman for her tone, seeing as working in the field of medicine was particularly stressful -even on reception staff. Still, he did as he was told and took a seat.

He must have been waiting for at least half an hour patiently before his name was called, "Benny?" The nurse peaked her head round the corner. Benny followed her to the office.

"Long time, no see my boy." Dr Huston greeted Benny with a firm and friendly handshake. Benny had pride in his clean bill of health, it'd been five years since his last appointment, and even then it was only for a physical after coming back from a trip abroad.

"How've you been?" Benny quizzed, he had noticed that his doctor had significantly aged since the last time he'd seen him. Dr Huston had been his doctor since birth; he was the one who delivered him some 36 years ago.

"Oh fine, fine! The real question we should be answering here today is; how are you? What seems to be bothering you?" Benny gave a brief description of his symptoms over the phone to the receptionist when booking the appointment, but of course it was imperative to relay more than the basics.

"I don't know Doc. I've not been myself the last couple of days; I don't think I can handle much more." Even as they spoke, Benny felt nauseas. He bargained that the only reason he wasn't being sick right now was because that there physically was nothing left.

"So I've heard; nausea, vomiting, heartburn, dissyness and fatigue?" Dr Huston read from the file, his head already swimming with possible diagnoses.

"Yes, Sir. The only reason I made an appointment today was because of the vomiting. For the last few days I haven't even been able to eat." Dr Huston had a 'eureka' moment and Benny had seen the older gentleman's face light up with glee.

"I'm going to take your blood pressure." Benny took off his leather jacket and scarf whilst his doctor grabbed the sphygmomanometer from his cupboard. Ripping it by the velcro and wrapping it around Benny's right arm. He switched on the machine and Benny felt the brace become increasingly tight, so much so he could feel the pulse in his arm, running from his index finger to his elbow. "Ah, interesting." The doctor noted Benny's blood pressure levels.

"What's interesting?" Benny watched curiously.

"You've got low blood pressure, it's surprising given that at your last check up you had high blood pressure. It may be partially due to the lack of food in your system." Dr Huston rubbed his chin with his thumb as he collected his thoughts, "would you mind lying down and lifting up your shirt?" Benny did as he was told.

"Mind me asking what this is about?" Benny was beginning to get slightly nervous, the lack of communication and the constant 'mnnns' and 'ahhs' made him feel left out.

"Just a theory, have you been struggling with sudden weight gain? You look bloated." The doctor's cold hands began pressing and squeezing Benny's stomach gingerly. Dr Huston took out his stethoscope and proceeded to listen in on Benny's internals.

"This? I was sure it was because of being ill. Besides, it's harder to maintain weight getting on in age." Benny replied shyly. He hadn't been keeping in shape for a while now and his laziness seemed to have apparent implications.

"I wouldn't be so sure. Now, be honest, have you had any sexual intercourse recently?" Benny scoffed, shocked by the question.

"Why should that matter? Do I have some kind of infection?" Dr. Huston laughed effervescently, Benny grew impatient and confused, and surely an STI was no laughing matter.

"If my predictions are correct, I think you've inherited something a little more than an infection Benny, my son." Again speaking in tongues, "let me rephrase my previous question, have you had any sexual intercourse with a _male_ in the last two months?"

"It was one night!" Benny exclaimed defensively.

"One night, apparently not long enough." Whilst he didn't take Benny to be interested in men, he bore no prejudice. What was above all else was that Benny was healthy, and by extension, his growing problem, "I'll have to do more tests to confirm but, it is my expert opinion that you could be pregnant." Benny frowned, in total disbelief.

"I'm no medical professional but, men don't get pregnant, Doc." Benny began to believe that his doctor had become senile in his old age, whilst somewhat funny, widely unhelpful in solving his issue.

"Improbable, not impossible. Statistically, it is extremely rare. I've only ever heard of a few cases, it's estimated that one in every 800 million men are able to carry children." Benny punched the bridge of his nose and shook his head amusingly.

"You're telling me, that it is not only possibly for men to get pregnant, but that I may be one of those freak 'one in 800 million'?" Benny stood off of the bed and pulled his shirt back down. He was astounded by the ludicrous things his doctor was spitting out, he began questioning his professionalism.

"Yes. It hardly sounds far fetched. Your symptoms accompanied by the presence of a second heart beat under the stethoscope can be perfectly explained by you being about seven to eight weeks pregnant." Benny was flabbergasted by how calm the doctor was being about giving such a diagnosis, this obviously wasn't normal and the realisation began to make Benny dissy.

"Two heart beats?" Benny confirmed.

"Yes Dear boy. It was very clear." Maybe his exhaustion was messing with his emotions but he couldn't help feeling a heavy lump formulate in the depths of his throat. Clenching his jaw, he fought back the tears.

"But there are tests you need to do? I don't care what they are, just do them." The dooming fear of something more arising from that stupid night made his spine tingle. He knew for sure that if it turns out to be true - however unlikely it may be - he would like it gone before it got too late.

"A simple urine test for Hcg levels. Since this is a matter of urgency, I'll personally have this analysed the moment it is done for results as soon as possible. In the mean time, if you wish to take a home pregnancy test, I find them highly accurate." Benny for a moment thought he was trapped in some kind of sick dream, and pinched his underarm to snap himself out of the trance. Of course, nothing really worked that way, he really was awake and receiving such news.

"Right." Benny had slipped into a stunned silence, the doctor smiled facetiously. He'd seen this many times before with women during his 40 year career.

"Here." Dr. Huston pulled out a pot and scribbled on the label, "I need you to fill this up." Benny needed no further explanation, "the toilet is just over there." He pointed a joyful finger at the door at the back of the room. Genuinely the doctor was over the moon, being able to work so closely with a medical mystery was fascinating. Whilst congratulatory, he also lavished in the glory of possibly releasing an academic paper.

Benny sat on the lid of the toilet. He stared down at the empty pot in his hands, he sneered at the very thought of being pregnant. He felt ridiculously foolish and embarrassed for being so easily doped. It had to be a joke - there was no alternative explanation.

Or was it?

He felt like pulling his hair out as frustration and rage deluded his mind. He had come to the doctors for a simple solution to his heart burn and fatigue, anticipating a prescription for some drugs or some standard tests. He by no means ever expected to be sitting on the toilet about to piss in a small pot to find out whether he was pregnant or not. His life has become a joke, it was undebatable.

He humored the doctor, he filled up the specimen. He felt too embarrassed and ashamed to look the doctor in the eye once he handed back the pot. With the promise of results within the next two days, he left. He couldn't have been more desperate to leave.

The cool September air felt refreshing against his skin, he inhaled deeply and everything around him just seemed to buzz quicker than light, yet he stood watching the hussle and bustle of the city meanwhile in his own world, things seemed to slow down. Had he really just been through that? Was this really happening? So many unanswerable questions as to why he was being cursed in such a way, which may never find answers. In this moment he felt sick to his stomach and depressed, things were falling apart and he feared that his life was set on a spiral of decline.

He fancied sitting on the steps of the hospital until the got the phone call with the results. At least then he wouldn't slip off home and fall into a state of anxiety. The probability of rain put him off of the idea; he didn't need the added burden of the flu.

As if by chance, his phone begins to ring. A sharp distraction from his temperamental state, the caller ID made him unintentionally smile, 'Chunk'.

"Hello?" Benny asked with relief.

"It's Chunk. How's it going? Haven't seen you in a few days." Chunk's voice seemed sympathetic and fantastically uplifting as the only voice he'd heard in the last four days had told him he was knocked up.

"I've been to the doctor today and he's given me something for the nausea." Benny skived off the truth. Not entirely knowing what was truth at this stage.

"Good, good. Are you well enough for a coffee?" Benny really wanted to say no and to go home and wallow in self-pity, not that it would be the best use of his time.

"Yeah, sure." He could use the pick-me-up, "our usual?"

"You know it. I'll see you in 15." Chunk abruptly hung up the phone, there was something about today's generation that hated to say goodbye. Either way, Benny put his phone back into his coat pocket and effortlessly fixed his hair.

He walked to the coffee shop rather than taking a taxi, the fresh air was good for the nausea and the cafe was close enough to make the journey on foot. Walking into the cafe sent his senses soaring, he hadn't eaten anything but dry toast for days and the sweet smell of pastries was very almost orgasmic. Chunk waved from across the room, already a coffee sat out forhim.

"Thanks man." Benny took a nostalgic inhale, breathing in the aroma.

"You look like you could use a coffee. I take it you're not feeling any better?" Chunk could tell from Benny's appearance that something wasn't quite right still. He wondered as to how the man even managed to leave the house upon inspection of Benny's shivering.

"Not really. It should be alright soon, I've got some tests coming in tomorrow." Chunk hadn't realised it was serious enough to warrant any kind of rest.

"Any idea on what it is yet?" Benny avoided eye contact and blew across the surface of his coffee to cool it down.

"They have a rough idea. Nothing can be confirmed yet." Whilst it was not a lie, he was also not telling the truth. He knew Chunk deserved at least that, but chances are that if it was pregnancy, he could get rid of the problem before it ever came to telling anybody.

"Ah, I see." It was obvious that Benny was hiding something but he opted to not press the matter any further as whatever it was, had made Benny highly shaken, "want something to eat? My treat." Benny wished he could reply with a yes add he so eagerly wanted, but giving into temptation would ruin his toast only diet.

"I shouldn't." Benny sunk into himself a little further.

"Well, I heard that ginger is good for nausea. Maybe they've got something for you?" Before Benny could reach out and stop Chunk, he had already left the table and was browsing the display case. He brought back with him a few dozen gingernut cookies, "try it." Benny had been fooled by food before. He reluctantly took a cookie from the bag and brought it close to his lips.

"I swear, if this doesn't work..." Benny bravely took a mighty bite. It was tasty; buttery and soft, he liked it. So much so that he finished the next two cookies in the bag. So far, so good - he was extremely relieved.

"Somebody was hungry?" Chunk was almost mortified by the speed at which Benny engulfed the cookies.

"You have no idea." Benny replied sarcastically, wiping away the crumbs that sat at the corners of his mouth. He had been starving for days just trying to starve off any possible bug he'd caught; knowing that it could possibly be morning sickness made his efforts seem wasted.

"Any plans on returning to work?" It had to be mentioned sooner it later, "We all miss you." He added, making it personal which made Benny squirm uncomfortably.

"Not yet. Once I've gotten this problem solved, I'll come back." That was a promise. Whilst it did seem like the sickness was a clever rouge to hide his problems with Bull, he wished it was only that simple. If anything, it only had the potential to make their situation a lot worse.

Their coffee date didn't last all too much longer as Chunk had to return to work but Benny was grateful for the company. He truly wanted nothing more but to return back to work, he was bored and life felt without purpose just sitting at home relaxing. He hadn't lived so aimlessly since he was fresh from university, he wondered how so many people could live this way for years on end.

Two days went by painstakingly and nauseously slowly, Benny had taken up scratching up the walls just waiting for some spec of news. It had kept him up at night and the worry gave him stomach cramps which only fed into his paranoia. He never left the comfort of the sofa, with his phone in his hand 24/7, not wanting to miss anything.

Somehow over the last two days he'd brought into the possibility of being pregnant, he still hated the idea, but no longer saw it as an impossible outcome after spending two days doing research. What frightened him most was the number of unanswered questions he had, nowhere did he find anything about any kind of termination nor had he found a single account of anybody living past labor. The lack of anything on the subject was greatly concerning. It was hardly surprising, the most recent records are from 1915, but this still served no comfort.

Upon his quest for knowledge, he had stumbled across several movies. He hadn't wanted to watch them, but for reference sake he made himself. He watched, Junior staring Arnold Schwarzenegger which embarrassingly made him tearful towards the end. He also watched the recent comedy, 'Mamaboy' which he found awkward and cheesey, nevertheless, it painted a more realistic scenario of being rejected by Bull in the instance he had to keep the baby and how he would most likely be socially ridiculed.

Nothing about his situation seemed positive, hence why he waited for the phone call, preying that the results came back negative.

Results came in at 12 that day, Dr Huston read through the report and triple checked the findings himself, conducting the test more than three times. Results were submitted anonymously so Dr Huston exercised his poker face to hide how the news made him feel. Once he was 100% sure of what he had found he locked himself in his office and scoured the network for Benny's phone number.

The phone rang, at first Benny stared at the phone screen as it lit up, his heart rate plummeted. Taking a deep breath, he held the phone to his ear and muted the TV.

"Hello? Is this Benny Colón?" Benny recognised his doctor's voice on the other end of the line. The call he had been waiting yet dreading, he felt nerve-rackingly unprepared.

"Tell me the good news Doc; I can't stand this any longer." His stomach flipped and his mouth became watery, he felt nauseas once again, with stress amplifying its effects. He knew that, whatever the outcome, he would be able to eventually rid himself of this debilitating condition.

"I'm glad to have you on the phone, the results are in, your wait is over. I know how difficult the wait must have been." Benny couldn't breathe, crippled with fear.

"What is it doc? Am I knocked up or do we need to start looking elsewhere?" Benny hoped for the latter. Yet, the small chuckle in response wasn't reassuring. Benny's palms became clammy and his back wet with disquietude.

"I can, with 100% certainty, say that you my boy are pregnant." In that moment he felt faint, his head was spinning and disbelief washed over him. His entire body went numb; the words circled around in his mind _'you're pregnant'_.

"But there's a way to end it? Right?" Benny's voice was hoarse and raspy, stuttering with shock. His Catholic morals had been completely disregarded in a matter of seconds.

"Through invasive surgical procedure, although it is not without its risks. I take it you're not interested in a congratulations?" Dr Huston became disheartened by Benny's reaction; he'd really wanted things to work

in his favour.

"No! I'm not. All I'm interested in is having the procedure." Whatever risks associated with the surgery, didn't even compare to the risks of having the child or even trying to raise it. He wasn't the maternal or even the paternal type; children were not part of his life plan - especially children with Bull.

"I see." Dr. Huston spoke sullenly, "I would recommend a few days to mull things over. News like this is quite shocking. Maybe, now this is only a suggestion, try reaching out to the father." Benny knew his rights, he didn't have to tell Bull anything, he had every right to have the procedure and Bull would be none the wiser.

"I'd rather not, doc." Benny knew that Bull was rather liberal but even this was too weird to understand. Nor did Benny know exactly how Bull would react, if Bull was to want to keep the child, he'd feel intimidated into keeping the baby.

"I would like you to come down to my office, run a thorough examination. Come by my office as soon as you can." Benny agreed to the arrangement and hung up the phone. He contemplated throwing his phone against the wall, instead he screamed a little with rage. He'd turned into a 5'5" ball of fury.

What he usually did when he was feeling so down was go to confession, but how could he step foot in the holy grounds having broken so many sins? Heck, he was a walking sin. Still, he needed the comfort and reassurance from his priest. Whether or not his priest could give him some guidance was important and imperative in coming to grips with such a difficult decision. Benny straightened himself out and put on some nice clothes, he admittedly missed his usual attire - slacks only made him feel more sluggish.

He hadn't brushed his teeth in two days and the bile from vomiting had given him a yellow tongue. He shuddered at how he could have let himself get so low. He did his best to look as tidy and 'himself' as he could despite his lack of apathy and the fact that he really didn't feel like himself anymore.

Benny felt paranoid as he walked down the street, he felt as if everybody was staring at him, like everybody knew of the secret he was concealing. It was ridiculous but he just couldn't shake it off. He kept his head to the ground and picked up the pace, not wanting to remain in the public eye for very long. Once he'd gotten to his church, he stood out front of the grand wooden doors. Being fall, the doors were closed which made Benny anxious not to go in, although he couldn't hear anything going on inside.

With a muster of courage he approached the doors and opened one just enough to slip through and gently shut the door without a sound. There were others in the hall, sitting and preying and lighting candles. He did his best to creep passed without disturbing them.

Benny greeted the woman who had just left the confession booth with a slight awkward nod before taking his seat.

"I confess to Almighty God and to you, Father that I have sinned. My last confession was quite some time ago, I apologise Father." Benny couldn't remember the last time he went to confession; he never found peace in it since his teenage years. He usually took up preying one-to-one with God but since he needed some physical advice he decided to return to confession.

"Speak my child, what sins are you guilty of committing?" The priest on the other side of the screen asked, righteously.

"I don't know where to begin, Father. Things at the moment are rather perplexing." Benny honestly didn't know how to phrase his problems. He knew it would be wrong to lie to his priest but had he told the truth he may have been laughed at or worse, shunned by the church.

"Begin at the beginning, naturally. Tell me everything that is making your heart heavy." Benny sighed apprehensively, spilling his life story seemed too embarrassing and a direct violation of the Catholic morals he grew up with. He'd been able to confidently talk to Chunk having been friends for a number of years, but something about talking to a priest was restrictive.

"It began about seven weeks ago, Father. At a party." Benny reminisced, his mind filled with inappropriate images which did not belong in the church.

"What happened at this party?" The priest could tell where things were going; he had many teenage girls come to confess about their sexual deviances at parties.

"I slept with a co-worker. It wasn't supposed to mean anything, just a drunken mistake." Benny could happily say before that night that he had no regrets, he always seized the day and lived happily - want free. Yet, he stupidly gave into temptation which angered him.

"Are you in love with this woman?" Benny scoffed, there was no 'woman' but he was content with the priest thinking there was. He assured himself that he definitely wasn't in love with Bull, despite apparently carrying his child; he wished to keep their relationship platonic.

"No. No." Benny said sternly.

"Whilst the church doesn't strictly forbid sex outside of marriage, things like this are common. God pardons your sin." Both Benny and the priest copied the holy trinity, "Is there anything more?" Oh how Benny wished there wasn't.

"Unfortunately. Father, as it turns out, she's pregnant… with my child. Rather an immaculate conception, she was thought to be infertile." Benny had thought all males were unable to conceive and his condition rather seemed like an immaculate conception.

"I see. Have you considered trying to make things work between the two of you? For the sake of the child?" The idea of being trapped in a loveless relationship with Bull hardly seemed fair for either of them. He knew that Bull had been seeing somebody, and to break them up seemed selfish.

"She's in love with somebody else. Besides, she's thinking about ending the pregnancy." Things became progressively real as Benny explained himself.

"Is this something you both want?" Hardly the answer Benny was expecting.

"Yes, it is. She's in love with somebody else and I'm too busy to commit to a relationship." Benny was a workaholic but his office was his domain, where he felt happiest. He loved his work and a child would only damage his reputation and resrupt his ability to work.

"God would want me to tell you to keep the child, that it would be special and loved. But as a priest, I can tell you that God would still love you no matter what you do." Never had Benny met such a liberal priest. Yet, this was New York, one of the most liberal cities in the world, where religion is reflexive and progressive - even conservative faiths such as Catholicism has adapted to be more appealing to all. "If I were to give you my honest advice, I would keep the child and if anything give it to a living home. All lives should have a chance of living."

That point hit Benny hard, he did honestly believe in a woman's choice to decide. But he also believed that the struggle for some to have children is real and for him to conceive by freak chance, 1 in 800 million seems unfair. His decision was shaken and his emotions tampered with. Whilst in his head he knew continuing this through would be a bad idea, small inclinations kept telling him otherwise. Coming to confession was a bad idea.

"Thank you, Father, for He is merciful."

"You're welcome, child. God has forgiven you of your sins. He trusts you will make the best decision." Whether God trusted him or whether he trusted himself were conflicting realities.

Benny left confession eager to visit his doctor. For him to make a concrete decision he needed all of the facts and all of the evidence, after all he wasn't one for regrets. He called his doctor back on his office phone to make a follow up appointment.

"Hello? Dr. Huston speaking."

"Hi doc, it's me, Benny."

"Benjamin! How are you dear boy?" He wasn't expecting a reply so quickly which he took as a good sign.

"I've been better." Benny had been better, he currently has a huge and throbbing head ache from the level of intensity today brought, not only that but he was constantly nauseous.

"I'm sure you have." His doctor chuckled, "now, what is it you wanted to talk about?"

"Are you free? For that check up?" Benny had no idea what he was up for, what a checkup really meant. Sure enough, he was in for quite a surprise. The doctor had a free space this afternoon during his lunch hour in which he would conduct the check-up, about 15 minutes from now. He was told specifically to drink as much water as he could and to eat something to get his blood sugar up.

So he stopped off at a local corner store to get a bottle of water and a chocolate bar. He ate uneasily, having learnt his lesson on eating too quickly last time he was hungry. He sat on a bench outside of the store which overlooked a patch of green, in that small space a father played football with his son.

"Is this Your way of telling me?" Benny spoke to God. The chances of seeing such a display in September was highly unlikely as it was only 10°c with a bitter wind. If there ever was a sign, it was this. Benny rolled his eyes, trying not to be swayed any further.

He got up and walked away, eating on his journey to the hospital. Upon reaching the hospital he noticed an influx in pregnant women. He entered the building and all around him in reception were pregnant women. Benny glared up at the ceiling, having had enough of God's messages already. Although, he did ask for help. Such coincidences were convenient and Benny was sceptical that they occurred by chance. "Come on." He whispered to himself.

Benny had to line up and wait to be checked in by the receptionist, "I'm sorry, there's a baby shower here at the hospital today. It's been hectic." Benny hadn't seen this kind face before; he was usually met by the old hag who grumpily barely even acknowledged the visitors.

The woman eyed him curiously; "No worries. I'm here to see Dr. Huston, he told me to come to this wing." Benny could see why this floor was obviously better equipped to suit _'his type'_ of check up.

"Ah, do you have an appointment?" She queried, looking at Dr. Huston's appointment schedule.

"No. I'm here to visit him during his lunch break, seen him around?" Benny saw the young woman relax a little, it was obvious that she wasn't quite used to seeing lone males up on this floor.

"I'll call his phone for you." She did just that, the phone rang for a little and Benny tapped his fingers on the side impatiently, "Right, Dr, I have..." She stared up at Benny, prodding for a name. He mouthed 'Benny'.

"…Benny, here to see you." She 'uh hu'ed and 'okayed' before putting the phone down. "He's in room 46. Just down the hall." She pointed the directions.

"Thanks." Benny gave a polite smile and followed her instructions. Benny watched the door numbers as he maneuvered now the narrow hallway. Room 46 was the last at the very end, he figured as much. He knocked on the door lightly.

"It's open!" Dr Huston called. Benny took a deep breath and stretched out his fingers after having them go dumb with slight fear. "I'm glad you came by to quickly. Its important to have a full checkup just encase you decide otherwise."

"I wouldn't be so sure," Benny replied snidely.

"Yes, well. By the end, should you still feel confident about having the procedure, I will organise a date." Benny knew he had to walk into this with a clear and objective mind, as to not make the wrong decisions about getting rid of the child or letting his emotions get the better of him and wind up keeping the baby.

"Great."

"I would like to start off by explaining your situation further. I've been doing research the last two days and I've gotten in contact with a doctor in western China. He worked on a case not two years ago, a man in a rural village in a rural village in Quinghai. According to his account, the pregnancy and delivery were risk free and relatively the same as that of a woman." Benny almost laughed nothing about this seemed normal. Benny couldn't help but feel sceptical about the whole process, there would be no way such a biologically and nature defying state didn't come without its risks.

"Delivery?" Benny quizzed, surely such a surgical procedure was potentially dangerous seeing as he didn't have a uterus, just neighbouring organs.

"The body goes through many changes, including the development of a faux cervix and vagina." Had Benny been drinking anything, such news would have been perfect material for a spittake. He was astounded, shocked, mortified and kind of amazed.

"Oh, right." The thought reversed many of his previous inklings.

"You're healthy, I don't foresee any complications. This brings me onto the physical exam." Dr Huston snapped on a pair of white rubber gloves and clapped his hands together. Benny took a loud exhale, preparing himself for the invasive tests. "I'd like to begin with weight, height and a few measurements." Benny rolled his eyes before jumping off of the bed. "Over here."

"Last time I weighed myself I was 142 pounds. That was 6 months ago." Dr. Huston noted that figure down in a small table on a form attached to a clipboard.

"Well, as of today, you're 155 pounds and 10 ounces. By estimate an increase of about 12." Benny hadn't been so heavy since he was an awkward teenager, it irked him how over the course of the last two years he hadn't set foot into a gym and his diet was pretty crappy; coffee, pastries and pasta.

"My gym membership expired." He replied sarcastically.

"I can say that most of this added weight is because of the baby. It seems you could potentially fill out quite quickly." ' _Great'_ , Benny thought acrimoniously. "Now if you could turn around and stand up straight against this rule." The scales and ruler were the same contraption mindbogglingly. The doctor brought the cue to Benny's hair, pressing it flat. "5'5"." Benny used to be embarrassed about his height but he eventually grew up to believe that tall didn't equal intimidating - knowledge was far more threatening.

The doctor proceeded to take measurements of Benny's chest and stomach. His hands were cold which made Benny's nipples erect gracelessly.

"I'd like to take a blood test. It's a routine test for glucose levels, hemoglobin levels and to help identify any sort of infections or diseases." Dr Huston brought down a small container filled with vitals and a syringe. Luckily Benny wasn't afraid of needles because this one was particularly long and thick.

"Go ahead doc." Benny took off his shirt, wearing a vest top underneath. The doctor tightened a small piece of elastic around Benny's bicep and began to tap on the cook of his arm to raise a vein. A small blue straggly vein blossomed through his skin. The needle broke through the skin effortlessly and it made Benny wince. The vial on the end of the syringe filled with a sample of blood. The doctor took another sample just encase.

"I've already taken your blood pressure, so I guess all that's left is the ultrasound." And just like that he had heartburn again. This had to be his last favourite part the examination, the thing that would make the pregnancy just that bit more _real_ , which might even be the icing on the cake. What is usually the happiest part of any woman's first appointment was ironically the part he was dreading.

"If you say so." Benny watched as the machine was wheeled over and the doctor turned it on. The machine buzzed unexpectedly which made him jump.

"Lie down and lift up your shirt." Dr Huston put some lubricant on Benny's stomach and unhinged the wand from the monitor. He didn't hesitate, immediately using the wand to spread the lubricant as the image on the screen began to focus. Benny turned his head completely in the opposite direction, not wanting to look, "you don't want to see?" From what the doctor could see, there possed no doubts, Benny was pregnant.

"No." Benny shook his head vigorously.

"Well, it looks healthy." The doctor took good note of the size and characteristics of the foetus, "let's listen to the heart beat." Dr Huston pressed the all important button and unmuted the ultrasound monitor. As clear as a summer's day and as loud as a bomb drop, the unmistakable sound of an energetic heart.

It was alarming, Benny grew profusely concerned by the speed at which the small organ thumped, "Is it supposed to be that fast?" Benny broke his vow of blissful ignorance as a pang of concern unknowingly struck.

"It's perfectly normal." Another good sign, Dr Huston was pleased with the development. It seemed too bad that not much more would amount from today's appointment. Benny became captivated by the image on the scene. If he wasn't looking as intently as he was he could have missed the peanut shaped spec in the middle of the screen, "look, I'm going to print you a copy. Take it back with you and really think about this decision, you should really enquire with the father." Benny knew he wasn't quite ready just yet, it was tough. He needed to know where he stood on the matter before consulting Bull. "I'll book you an appointment for two weeks today for your procedure. If I don't see you, I'll assume you've tried to give this a chance. Something tells me, that you might not need the appointment but I'll have everything arranged regardless." Two weeks hardly seemed long enough to make an important like decision such as this, but time was getting on.

Dr Huston wiped the lubricant off of Benny's stomach with a paper towel. Benny sat up and rubbed his eyes with his knuckles, he had small tears forming that were burning his retinas. He redressed himself like nothing was wrong.

"How will I manage these two weeks? I can't take more time off of work, but this nausea is debilitating." Benny hadn't been to work in almost a week and he was scratching at the walls. It was about time to show his face back at the office before people either came to the conclusion that he wasn't returning or that c he was diagnosed with some kind of terminal disease.

"I see, well dry foods are good. Bland foods too. Things like crackers, bran biscuits, ginger and bread are good at easing sickness. You should eat in smaller amounts but as frequently as you can like a handful of dry breakfast cereal or a salad." It would be nice to sit down and have a nice meal after on-and-off puking, not that these suggestions were likely to completely eradicate the nausea or even the vomiting. Yet it might make going back into work more bearable.

"Thanks doc. I don't know what the outcome will be but I'm sure I'll make the best choice." Benny stared down at the image in his hand. Not only did he have a duty to himself, he also had a duty to this little thing growing inside of him. Doing the right thing before it was too late and 'it' became a he or she was a top priority.

"Take these," Dr Huston pulled put a guide book and some pamphlets, "they might come in handy." Benny accepted them and flicked through the pile briefly.

"Sure." Benny rolled the papers up and placed then in the inside pocket of his coat as he left the room. Upon shutting the door he paused, life had hit him hard, smack in the face. At times like this he would do what most adults did and drink himself numb. That wasn't an opinion at this moment in time.

Reality had hit him hard and he was entirely in the dark. Benny left the hospital feeling more confused than before he walked in, he hated the fact his heart was swaying and he no longer had a clear-cut vision of giving up. One thing was for sure, it leered over his head, and he couldn't make this decision on his own. It would be selfish to exclude the second party. Although the very thought of telling Bull scared him, he had to. But first he needed the excellent advice from the only person he could trust, Chunk.

He called Chunk's cellphone and got through to him almost immediately.

"I was waiting for your call." Chunk admitted. He too had been rather anxious about the fact that Benny admitted he had tests arranged and was waiting for positive confirmation that nothing was wrong.

"Is that Benny?" Cable's voice shouted from the background.

"Hello Cable." It made Benny smile, his work kept him grounded and he missed everybody already.

"So, how's things?" Chunk took himself away from the group, Bull watched inquisitively as Chunk disappeared. It made him frustrated to be left out of the loop and he swore to make contact with Benny even if it meant visiting his apartment.

"Not good." Benny breathed out.

"Why? What's wrong?" Chunk began to become frantic and irrational thoughts plagued his mind the second Benny spoke. Something terrible must be wrong he thought something serious. Most people in the same situation come to the same drastic conclusion; cancer. Chunk was no different.

"Let's meet. It's not something I want to tell you over the phone." With prying ears at TAC, nothing was secret. That and he couldn't risk blurting out something so bold standing in the streets.

"I'll come to the cafe straight away." Chunk hung up the phone, making no excuse to leave he exited the building. His co-workers watched curiously and were sure to pester him later when he returned. Chunk walked as quickly as he could in his formal dress shoes as he possibly could, eager and worried beyond belief.

He has gotten to the cafe in less than five minutes, a personal best. Benny sat at their usual table with his head resting on folded arms. Chunk wasn't used to this sort of sight, he knew Benny as a proud always relatively cheery. This seemed completely out of character. Chunk took a seat, Benny didn't register that Chunk had even arrived until he coughed for attention.

"Benny, what couldn't you tell me over the phone? Is it about those tests?" Benny nervously twitched his leg under the table and rubbed his chin. He wanted to open his mouth and spill the beans as it were, but nothing he postulated in his mind made its way out of his mouth. He was used to writing winning arguments and final compelling statements but this was difficult.

"You know about me sleeping with Bull," he began, reaffirming the facts.

"Yeah." Chunk dragged out, not sure how the two instances would correlate just yet.

"Well, it would seem," Benny was abruptly interrupted by Chunk's impatience.

"You've caught some kind of STI, haven't you? Please tell me you and Bull wore a condom." Chunk snapped. He wouldn't have thought Benny would be the type to drunkenly forget a condom. Embarrassingly Benny shook his head, had he remembered to wear a condom in the first place he might have avoided this whole mess.

"Well not exactly," Benny replied bashfully. Chunk disappointedly shook his head.

"I know we're best friends and all, but how could you be so stupid as to not use a condom? I get that you're Catholic and all but it's never wrong to have safe sex." Benny didn't need the lecture, even a really sarcastic one. The damage was already done.

"If I was really in my right mind, I wouldn't have done it in the first place. But that's not why I called you here." Feeling slightly attacked he moved on. Chunck sassily raised a brow and allowed Benny to carry on under much scrutiny. "Yes, me and Bull didn't use a condom. It was stupid, I get it. But now there's something more at stake." Benny thought the best way to put it, was with factual evidence like presenting a case in court. He pulled out example A and slapped it down onto the table.

Chunk glanced over at it, "what am I supposed to be looking at?" Chunk could tell the obvious, that it was an ultrasound of some sort.

"What do you think it is?" Benny pointed aggressively at the small squirt in the middle of the scan. Chunk looked harder but failed to come to the conclusion Benny was pushing for. Of course he couldn't possibly assume that Benny was pregnant because like most, he probably thought it was impossible. Benny scratched at his forehead with annoyance, "I'm pregnant Chunk." It came out slightly louder than anticipated but nobody noticed.

"What? And a medical professional told you this?" Chunk was cynical, he laughed in response.

"Yes. I've seen the rest results and he performed a scan. Trust me, it's real. I just don't know what to do about it." Chunk woke to the situation, he could tell from Benny's expression that he wasn't joking and that he was genuinely troubled and fearful.

"But how? Surely it should be impossible." Benny half smiled, lips crooked to the side. He had said exactly the same thing once he'd been informed by the doctor about his current condition.

" _Statistically improbable but not impossible_ , apparently. I know how this sounds, I had my doubts too. I wish it was something else, at first even I asked if it was an STI." Benny scooped up the ultrasound picture and stared at it blankly. He couldn't understand how something so small could wreak so much havoc, playing with his mind and making him as sick as a pig.

"I take it Bull doesn't know." Benny's stunned silence said it all, "will you tell him?" Chunk rephrased.

"I was hoping it wouldn't come to that, I don't really intend to keep it...that is until I actually went to church and the appointment threw me further. I don't know where I stand anymore." Hence why he needed the impartial advice from Chunk.

"Listen, Benny, if you're already having doubts; you know where you stand." Benny was knocked for six. It wasn't the answer he was expecting but it made perfect sense. Walking in and making a rash decision and terminating the pregnancy would leave him with resonating regrets.

"Yeah, maybe." He still couldn't trust the state of his emotions at the moment but took Chunk's advice to heart, "I've got two weeks to decide anyway, but keeping the baby would disrupt work, it would consume so much of my time, let alone hiding from the public and Bull...don't get me started." Benny rampaged.

"I'm not going to tell you whether you should keep it or not, it's your life. Just don't be blinded by work, it's not the be-all and end-all." He'd let work consume him for a few decades now but he'd always been relatively happy. Perhaps that was a bad thing, work surely shouldn't be the only source of happiness, "I will say this though, Bull needs to know. Before it gets too late or he finds out for himself." Bull was smart but not that smart. Yet, Benny already knew he had to do the right thing.

"I'll be coming into work tomorrow; I can't sit at home anymore. The doctor gave me some advice on combating," Benny choked on the next few words, "morning sickness."

"I didn't want to say anything, but you've looked better. Anything to ease the edge, 'cause you can't starve yourself." He had been on a hunger strike for days, he wondered if morning sickness was supposed to be so severe and whether it was normal to have afternoon and night sickness. Chunk's concern was dually noted as slightly offensive but genuine.

"I'm glad you're here Chunk." Benny smiled for the first time in a long time, and it was one of carefree bliss.

"You know I'm here for you man, everybody needs that someone." Chunk had been struggling to find that special someone, he was gay which wasn't an issue here in New York, but he just hated dating. However, truthfully, he found this vulnerable side of Benny very strangely attractive.

"You better get back to work; spread the good vibes for me." Benny slid out of the booth and buttoned up his coat, the atmosphere outside had gotten progressively darker with a high prediction of rain.

"Get some rest tonight; it'll be work as usual tomorrow. You'll need twice as much energy to deal with Danny and Cable's prying." Chunk followed Benny out of the cafe and watched as the rain began to fall.

He and Benny waved each other goodbye and Benny turned in the opposite direction. Chunk watched as Benny began jogging to escape the rain, he chuckled slightly and waited for the younger man to disappear before making his own way.

Wairing for him back in his office was Bull, who sat leant against his desk, arms folded and unwelcoming. Chunk walked in, surprised by the reception. "Where'd you go?" Bull asked bluntly.

"I met Benny for lunch." Chunk hung his coat up and brushed away the beads of water that sat at the surface. He also picked out a fresh - dry - shirt.

"Without an umbrella?" Bull inquired doubtingly, "Is he okay? Do you know when he'll be back?"

"Have you called him lately? He needed a friend, and called me instead of you. What's going on between you two?" Chunk had already received the download from Benny, but two sides were better than one. Maybe he could then try and find a resolution.

"It's a long story, too long actually." Bull became slightly lost in thought.

"Yeah? Try me." Chunk got dressed in the background whilst the two spoke.

"I'm sure he's already told you that we slept together?" Chunk was startled, but not all too surprised. He didn't often miss anything.

"He might have mentioned it." Chunk replied nonchalantly.

"Of course he has. I drove him to you because I haven't been able to quite process what happened and why it happened." Chunk wondered why he'd become the office shrink, when Bull of all people had a doctorate in psychology.

"Maybe deep down you've always had feelings for Benny?" Chunk posited a wild guess.

"I'm probably displacing my feelings for my ex-wife, Benny's sister." Bull didn't know what it was that made him lustful that night. All he knew now was that this lust had died and it was destroying their friendship.

"Whatever is happening, you two need to have a long sit down and talk it out. He's just as stressed about this as you are, he thinks you hate him." Chunk made Bull feel incredibly guilty, he hadn't intentionally tried to make things complicated, he simply wished to distance himself from the issue - Benny, until he had come to grips with why, why he slept with his best friend.

"I don't know how to even approach the situation. It's not like I can run a simulation first, and I don't want our talk to have adverse effects."

"Nothing will get better by avoiding him. Take the chance; I'm sure you'll be surprised." Chunk was on a roll with dishing out quality information, if he somehow decided to change careers; he knew he'd have no trouble with opening his own counselling practice.

"You are absolutely right." Bull stood up proudly, knowing he'd made the right decision in coming to Chunk for some help.

"Good thing he's coming back tomorrow, hu?" He had successfully become the catalyst for some much-needed change.

Meanwhile, Benny fought back his growing fatigue to head to the grocery store. He grabbed a shopping cart and began patrolling down the first isle. Nothing jumped out at him, he needed to restock the cupboards and fridge but whenever he thought of picking up something, it made his stomach churn unhappily.

Not wanting to get the booklet out from his coat pocket in public, he did a private search on Google for 'best foods to cure morning sickness'. He cringed as he clicked on mums websites, knowing he was actually one of them made him more nauseous than he already was. Lists of foods came up including things like: crackers, biscuits, green veg, peppermint, bananas, and lemons - he grimaced at the idea of eating a lemon. Other foods included ginger, dark chocolate and complex carbohydrates.

Benny walked round, placing some of the new foods into the cart, alongside his usual list. Although, when it came to buying fresh meat from the concessions stand, the smell of the raw beef made him gag. He walked straight in the other direction, he couldn't stomach standing long enough to be served, let alone bring the meat home and have his fridge smell the same. Instead he picked up some packaged chicken and sausages.

Benny arrived at the tills and glanced over his cart, wondering if he overshopped. He knew that most of what sat in the cart would go to waste but it was in his best interest to buy them anyway and try them open-mindedly, not that he could cook.

It was at times like these that Benny wished he had his own vehicle. He was too accustomed to taking a taxi everywhere but it was impractical, he needed his own mode of transport. Maybe something like a motorbike, he'd always wanted a motorbike. Ever since he was a young boy when he watched the bike shows every summer, he'd wanted something beastly and agile, maybe even joining a biking group and going on tour.

He shook his head as he hailed a taxi, both hands full of shopping bags. In his current condition and the unpredictability of the future made him regret getting his hopes up. Benny did know that in the event he chose to keep the baby, he'd need his own car. Once he'd arrived at the apartment, he grabbed his bags from the trunk and hoisted the bags up the front steps, he sighed as he dropped them to enter his pass code. He also made a mental note; he'd definitely need to find a new place.

As a single man's apartment, it had ample space and everything he could need. He had money to move should he wish to, but he'd lived in the same building for more than ten years. He didn't want to leave. He waited as the elevator took him up to his fifth floor stop, and walked to his door; opening it with the key. He lugged his shopping through to the kitchen it made him pant a little as he was so exhausted. The first thing he would do is put the things away and make himself something light to eat.

Nothing seemed particularly appealing, if anything, starving seemed like the better option. Benny grabbed his pamphlets and scoured them from some inspiration. He shrugged many off as he read through them; the only thing that struck him was a recipe for peanut butter apple dip. He used to love them as a kid, it was a staple dessert.

The recipe called for Greek yoghurt, peanut butter and honey. It seemed simple enough, mixing the ingredients together in a small bowl. He chopped up some apples into neat slices and put them on a little plate. He carried the two over to the sofa. He hadn't eaten in a few days and was slightly apprehensive as he conservatively scooped up the mix with the apple. It tasted the same, exactly the same as he remembered. It was a sweet reminder of his youth, sitting with his sister and parents at the dining room table after supper.

He'd eaten the whole bowl and found himself digging for more, he was doing well for now. The small snack left him energised and partially full - having a slightly shrunken stomach. It was such a relief, to be able to eat again; he had high hopes for the other recipes in the book. Some seemed audacious or otherwise disgusting given his picky nature, but others he could see himself enjoying.

Ahead of time he made some lunch, a simple salad full of leafy greens and carrot. It looked so dry and tasteless even with croutons. He figured it would be the best, sick to the instructions. He'd never used his pasta grater before so it was quite a learning curve.

Whilst he wasn't able to escape the nausea, he hadn't been physically sick all day. It was a large victory which meant his stomach was able to digest something and take in some nutrients so he didn't look so pale when coming back into work. For dinner he cooked some chicken a made a Thai green curry with a ready-made pour in. The cooling effect of the curry was sure to keep his stomach settled and satisfied until the morning.

Benny watched TV for the remainder of the night, he would become distracted and rest a hand over his stomach and realise shortly after and remove it. After the events of the day it was clear he couldn't remain impartial, even in a dreary state his mind was no longer in control. Benny eventually fell asleep on the sofa by ten; he had been too tired to keep himself awake or to migrate over to the bed. Luckily he set himself an alarm.

He woke up abruptly when his alarm rang; he had forgotten about falling asleep on the sofa but regretted it. He woke up stiff; he stretched out slowly and listened as his appendages clicked. He yawned and ruffed up his hair. Frankly he was quite glad to be going back to work, it would be a tricky day ahead but he looked forward to putting on a suit and showing his face.

Instead of his usual morning coffee he enjoyed some lemon water, with a lemon wedge in a diffuse water bottle. He was pulling out all of the stops today ensuring that nothing went wrong, that he didn't raise any unintended attention. He'd taken the advice in the booklet and had a few snack crackers before getting in the shower. Apparently having an empty stomach only made things worse - today he'd trial that theory.

He put on his suit and tie, gelled his hair and slipped on his shoes. Being well dressed brought with it an element of pleasure. He looked good and thus felt good. He packed his lunch in a small rucksack and picked up his briefcase before leaving his apartment.

"You're looking chipper today!" His neighborhood greeted, he too on his way to work.

"I feel chipper Lenny." That he did, with a spring in his step he pressed the button on the lift.

"Great Benjie, I haven't seen you on my way to work in a while. You been alright?" Oh how Benny wished he'd simply come down with the flu and been bed ridden for a few days, but fate was twisted.

"Just needed a break, you know how things get." Lenny looked at him with empathy.

"Hell, we've all been there." The small talk was over when the two went their separate ways; Benny hopped into a taxi and rode it to work. His usual driver was also surprised to see him, he didn't really realise before how popular he was. It was a great way to start his day.

Paying his driver and exciting the cab, he waved goodbye. Standing at the front steps to the TAC building made his stomach flutter, was he actually nervous or extremely happy? He fixed his suit the best he could and took a deep breath as he walked through the doors. The security staff all welcomed him back and gave him the rundown of what he'd missed as he passed through the scanner. Getting into the elevator felt right, almost like he'd never been away.

The elevator stopped before his floor and who should stroll in? Bull.

"We had an early morning meeting this morning." Bull coughed, not really sure how to approach the elephant in the room.

"I had no idea. Sorry." Benny frowned, slightly confused.

"It doesn't matter." The two avoided eye contact like the plague, "so you're better now I take it?" Bull was honestly happier than he could express.

"Oh, yeah. Not completely out of the woods but I'm fine." The nagging voice in the back of his head annoyingly reminded him that telling Bull about the baby was a priority and that lying to him was a bad idea.

"Good to hear, for the most part. Did you get yourself checked out?" He'd been desperate to find out what Chunk and Benny had been getting up to and why Chunk came back to work yesterday slightly flabbergasted.

"As a matter of fact I did, it was just some routine tests. Nothing to report back yet." Benny's lies just seemed to flow so effortlessly. He was in actuality, digging himself a bigger hole. One he'd eventually have to dig himself out of.

"That's great news. Can't be too careful these days, sometimes a simple cough can turn out to be cancer." The conversation had turned unexpectedly dark and thus the elevator fell silent. It was awkward and they both knew it. "So this meeting..." Bull broke through just before the elevator doors opened and their closest co-workers jumped onto Benny.

"It's been so long!" Cable gave Benny a tight hug.

"It's not even been a week." Benny scoffed, "I didn't know I'd be missed like this." Of course he did, his co-worker were like eager baby chicks and him the mother duck. He hadn't expected anything less.

"We were all worried about you." Marissa's beautiful smile beamed, although too reserved to go in for a hug, gave Benny a sympathetic stroke on the arm which was enough for him. He'd noticed that Bull hadn't stayed for the reunion, so did everybody else for that matter, "just pay no attention." Marissa whispered. Benny nodded his head as he watched Bull walking towards his office.

"So what'd I miss?"

"Absolutely nothing, trust me. This week has been pretty boring." Cable relayed. Benny was surprised that TAC had been quiet while he was away; their business was usually booming, even if it was small cases, "Bull didn't take on any cases while you were away. It's a shame really; we had this one case about a DJ player and copyright. It would have been totally awesome."

"Is that right? He's totally capable of conducting mock trials." Benny replied, completely confused.

"I know right? He's just not been interested in work." Cable watched Benny's reactions suspiciously, wondering if there was something more going on that she didn't know about.

"I guess it's his choice." Benny shrugged off the overt weirdness of the situation, he'd never be able to understand Bull and his intentions, he hadn't been able to so far and he was sure Bull would gee just as secretive until he died.

From up behind him came a cheerful voice, "I didn't think you'd make it." Chunk smiled gladly.

"I'm feeling better than I have done in days." Cryptic but the both of them understood why.

"The stuff the doctor gave you working?" He asked when the two were alone, "I phoned my mum and she gave me some recipes, if you want then." Chunk had been worried about Benny not eating and took it upon himself to ask an expert, somebody who had gone through the process three times.

"I can't say I'm nausea free, but I've had no heartburn and I'm not about to vomit, so yeah. I'd say they're working." He'd been thankful that he was able to break the cycle, he had heard that women suffered from morning sickness but he had no clue that it was more like; morning, day and night sickness.

"That's a start." The two walked and talked, Benny threw himself onto Chunk's sofa and settled in, "have you thought about it more?"

"Since yesterday? No. I haven't." He didn't want to think about it anymore than he had to. It was almost like he was still in denial, that he would never think of it again and the problem would disappear because it never really existed; just his brain playing tricks on him.

"I thought I should tell you that I had a rather interesting conversation with our boss yesterday, about your situation." Benny, given his hot-headed nature, blurted out:

"You didn't tell him did you?"

"Oh god of course not. Who do you take me for?" Chunk shot back, "if you let me continue?"

"Sorry..." Benny labored apologetically.

"Like I said, Bull and I had a conversation about the affair. He told me that he's been waiting to talk to you about it but doesn't know how. So maybe you should make the first move?" Benny rolled his eyes, sure he was unable to approach the situation, but he had expected Bull to mention it before now. After all he was the one who anticipated their kiss and he was the one who drunkenly started fooling around, and then said never to mention it.

"He's been avoiding me for weeks, why now?" Chunk raised his shoulders; their conversation had only been brief.

"Who knows? Which is why you should talk to him? Maybe tell him about your growing problem?" Chunk mentioned, sarcastically. Benny rubbed his eyebrow as he thought.

"I don't even want to tell him. To be honest Chunk, I don't even want to speak to him. Nothing is the same anymore." Benny could tell that he and Bull were drifting apart, despite Bull's subtle efforts. Neither of them seemed all to interested in maintaining their friendship. He didn't therefore; want a baby to draw them together under false ideology of happiness.

"You have to. You know why? Because you're going to have it, I can see it now." Benny rolled his eyes, Chunk seemed surer of his future than himself.

"I've still got two weeks to decide." He protested.

"By my count, 13 days." Chunk called back cleverly.

"You've made your point." 13 days to go. 13 days to make a life-changing decision, before he could answer the question placed in front of him and give his verdict; he needed the input of the opposition. It was going to be easier said than done.

"Good. Now, if you don't mind; I've got work to do." Benny felt slightly light headed as he stood up, he too probably had work to do. Walking into his office he would expect to see a pile of paperwork waiting for him.

"You both have." Came a voice from the doorway, "we've got a case." Bull gathered his employees like a cattle farmer and his cows. Chunk and Benny followed Bull out to the TAC system area where Marrisa already had details projected into the monitors.

As such everybody went to work, Marrisa began to search her database for a mirror jury and Benny used the data Marrisa had collected in order to begin writing a winning argument. It felt peculiar to be back, almost like he had never left. He sat as his desk, pen to paper and thought hard. Starting off with just short and disjointed ideas, he developed them into a script.

That's when he began to feel nauseous; he had remembered to bring a packet of crackers. Eating slowly, he continued to work, it was a wasted effort. Having lost all concentration, working was futile, especially since cramps followed the surging sickness. Luckily at the store yesterday he picked up some Tylenol, upon advice from his doctor. Apparently cramping would become a common day-to-day infliction. He thought to himself; _'why am I even putting myself through this?'_ , and shook his head angrily.

"You alright? I brought you a sandwich." Cable came in holding a baloney sandwich, like she did sometimes. If only now was a better time, and maybe her efforts would be far better appreciated.

"I'm fine." He lied.

"Sure seems like it. If you're still ill maybe you shouldn't have come in today?" Despite how lousy he actually felt, he was certain that the pregnancy wasn't going to get in the way of him living his life.

"I've got it under control." His words made little impact on Cable's worrisome expression.

"Did you go to the doctor like Chunk said?" He knew Chunk wouldn't be able to keep that a secret; the people he worked with were like vultures, peckingChunk alive for information no doubt. He did know that Chunk was reliable and trustworthy of keeping his biggest secret.

"I did, and everything is fine." Cable wasn't buying Benny's routine, but gave him the benefit of the doubt, knowing that Benny probably wouldn't lie. Knowing full well that she could do a quick search and find anything she wanted, lying would be dangerous.

"Mnn, Benjamin Colón, don't be a hero. Just go home." Benny rolled his eyes. If he was going to survive two weeks in this state he had to hide it better. Cable left his office leaving the sandwich in its place, it smelt enticing but he knew that he'd regret eating something so fatty. Instead he stared at it imagining eating the sandwich, which had to be enough for now.

A knock on the door snapped him out of his daze, "Not hungry?"

"Starving actually." Benny hadn't even acknowledged the second person in the room, "Chunk...there used to be a time when a baloney sandwich could cure anything." He said, reminiscing.

"Didn't you bring any lunch?" Time had flown by and Benny had been put off eating, the crackers were dry and barely scratched the surface of his hunger.

"Of course, I just don't think I could stomach it." He felt pretty pitiful.

"You know, the sooner you tell Bull, the sooner you'll feel better."

"How'd you work that one out?" Benny replied cynically.

"It's common sense really; I bet half of your nausea is caused by the anxiety coming from telling Bull." Benny rolled his eyes.

"Maybe it's because of the child growing in me?" He answered back, albeit a little louder than he should have. "I don't want tell him." He exhaled heavily, "the way I see it, Its going to go in either of two ways; he'll want me to keep it but I don't want to, or I'll want to keep it and Bull won't want it."

"Or it would turn out the way you want it to, where you both agree to keep the baby." Chunk didn't have a single doubt in his mind; Benny would definitely keep the baby, regardless of his current insecurities.

"Would he? After last time, I don't think he wants children." Unknowingly, Benny had opened a can of worms, brining back some awfully sad memories.

"Last time?" Chunk enquired curiously.

"He and my sister lost a baby, I'm pretty sure it's why they got a divorce." It was a long time ago but Benny knew that something so devastating had long-lasting impacts on people, "which is why his reaction is so unpredictable."

"Surely, telling him as soon as you can would be a good thing. It gives the two of you time to work things out, at least then, with a solid answer, you'll be able to stop yourself from becoming attached." Benny hated that Chunk made sense, if only he could bring himself to take anything said on board.

"Damn it Chunk. It's not that simple." Benny frustratedly threw his head onto his desk, too exhausted and in pain to truly become aggravated.

"Of course, I know that. I just need to keep you on the right path." Chunk watched Benny with sympathy pains of his own, "let's go and walk this off." Chunk pulled Benny out of his chair and helped him stretch upright. Benny couldn't help but rub his stomach, trying to sooth the pain.

"I don't know how women do this Chunk." Benny whimpered.

"This, my friend, is nothing." Chunk laughed, "It'll only get worse."

"You're not very uplifting." The pain relief and the walking seemed to take the edge off of the cramps. He knew that if he couldn't even withstand the pain of a few first trimester cramps, he sure wasn't going to handle the aches and pains later on, including the end game – labor.

"Something tells me I don't need to be all that convincing." A fortune teller he was not, but he knew based on the type of person Benny was; good, kind and a good Catholic. He also knew that Benny was lonely and needed some companionship, which is probably why he stupidly slept with Bull in the first place.

"I wouldn't be so sure." Benny argued back.

"Whatever you say." He smirked joyfully.

"Wipe that smile off of your face, I'm fine now." Benny released his dependence and stood up for himself, taking a deep breath and cranking his neck slightly.

"Make sure you eat somethin'." Chunk added before he slipped out of the room. Benny threw Cable's baloney sandwich into his desk-side bin, the smell was still overpowering and acted as a sour reminder of what was out of reach. He pulled out his own lunch that he'd prepared; nothing but green leafy vegetables and grilled chicken. It paled in comparison to his usual lunch; a doughnut and a meatball sub from the vendor out front of the building.

He ate rather cautiously in small bites as to not give his stomach a hard time. The lemon water was rather soothing and admittedly the food was better than he had anticipated, finally, he was on the diet he promised himself three years ago as a new year's resolution. Had he been too stubborn to visit the doctor he would be in much worse condition, for that he was thankful.

After eating he felt sluggish and tired. It was too bad that he was called a meeting; otherwise he'd be taking a nap at his desk right about now. Instead he sat at the table listening to Marrisa talk about the appointed mirror jury.

"So we have a 94% match of our mirror jury, what's important is that we've selected the right jurors with the key characteristics we're looking for; people who are outgoing, risk takers but are also very respectful of the harsh reality that accidents do happen." Marrisa continued as she browsed through the group selection, one by one. Fearing she was losing Benny she halted, "are you alright?"

"Just go on." Bull eyed Benny briefly before letting him sleep. He'd been ill and everybody understood that Benny wasn't 100% yet.

Benny had woken up by the end of the meeting, startled when Chunk shook him gently, "Benny you need to wake up." Chunk repeated for the third time. Benny mumbled and glared around the room, widely confused.

"Where...?" He stuttered before realizing, "the meeting? I slept through it, didn't I?" He sighed angrily.

"We just let you sleep. Bull figured you needed it." He didn't understand why Bull had been so nice all of a sudden, it was an important meeting no doubt, one that he probably had to pay attention to.

"What did Marrisa say?" The last thing he remembered was Marrisa's voice; she was probably slightly offended by him falling asleep mid-sentence.

"We just talked about the mirror jury, how closely they matched and what not. We've got 48 hours to come up with the opening statement. Seeing as tomorrow we're going to see our clients at their air field." The whole group has been invited to take a free skydiving course as payment for the TAC service.

"I've never been skydiving before, this should be fun!" Cable stretched out and smiled enthusiastically.

"Wait what? Skydiving?" Benny was not only afraid of heights but also pregnant now, which meant that there was no chance of him stepping foot on a plane. Let alone jumping from one with a parachute.

"You don't have to go up if you're too much of a chicken!" Cable clucked and squawked, making chicken wings with her arms. Benny shook his head and rolled his eyes, not everybody was as ambitious or carefree as Cable.

"Look nobody has to jump if they don't want to." Chunk cleared the air.

"Either way, I guess I've got some more work to do." Benny embarrassingly stood up from his chair, eyeing his reflection in the monitor screen, half expecting Cable to have drawn him a fake mustache or a goatee, "We're leaving first thing in the morning?"

"Yeah, first thing."

"Perfect." Benny had already written more than half of a compelling case to perform on his behalf, based on the character profiles he was given. Although he wondered whether the meeting would be imperative to his process.

The two went their separate ways trying finish their work, so that nothing followed them home. So by the time it was good to clock out and go home, people left relatively stress free. It was seven and everybody had packed up and switched off, collectively the team took the elevator down to reception do sign out. That is, most left the elevator. Bull held Benny back by the arm, "we need to talk." Bull spoke as he pressed the button to go back up.

"What about? The case?" Benny asked innocently, avoiding the issue at hand.

"About our case." Bull spoke nonchalantly, although he was actually pretty anxious, which was totally out of character.

"I didn't realize we had a case." Benny made all attempts to avoid eye contact, knowing that Bull was staring down at him.

"We need to talk about our little escapade, I'm sure you knew that." Bull unlocked his office door and turned on the light. The office was eerily quiet after hours which was widely concerning and made their situation all that bit more awkward. Bull pulled out a bottle of scotch and two glasses; he poured a generous amount into each, figuring he needed the confidence boost. "Here."

"No thanks." Benny slid the glass back towards Bull.

"You could use a drink; this might be a long conversation." Bull took a large swig of his drink and topped it up.

"I'm not drinking, I can't at the moment." Things fell silent and Benny began to nervously twitch under the table. Bull had read Benny's unconscious behaviour and spoke up.

"I know I said that we shouldn't talk about it, but its due time we had this talk." Bull straightened himself out and shifted his glasses; the alcohol wasn't really having much of an effect as the butterflies in his stomach were driving him insane. "Obviously not talking about it has impacted our work lives."

"You could say that."

"I'm sorry that I've left it so long, but I just want you to know that it was a mistake." Benny couldn't agree more, it was a ginormous mistake. It was just a shame that the night hadn't ended as a mistake, rather than manifesting into something neither of them wanted.

"I totally agree." The look of relief was overtly apparent in Bull's face.

"So, do you think we can put this behind us?" Benny scratched his forehead anxiously, "we can, can't we?" Bull asked again, this time slightly stern.

"It might not be that simple..." Benny took a deep breath, if there was going to be a perfect time to spill the beans, it was now. He just wished he wasn't so anxious and fearful.

"By that, you mean?" Bull's mind rushed to an ungoverned conclusion, 'was Benny in love with him?' his palms began to sweat and his throat ran dry. Whatever Benny had to tell him, he wasn't prepared to hear it.

"That night didn't end there," Bull looked confused, "what I'm trying to say," words failed him and his nerves tripped over his tongue, "something has come up, that we need to take responsibility for." Chunk's voice plagued his mind, screaming at him, to tell the truth, to spit it out and be brave.

"Responsibility?" Had this been a normal altercation with a woman he would have come to the conclusion on his own. The process was painstakingly long, and Benny free slightly frustrated. He wondered whether he would come out like had done to Chunk, abruptly show Bull the scan and hope for the best?

"Unfortunately that night had an unexpected consequence and we need to make an important decision." Still speaking in riddles, dodging the part where he actually needed to tell Bull that he was pregnant. He couldn't picture himself saying such words, it made him cringe just thinking about it.

"Benny, what aren't you telling me?"

A sharp inhale, eyes closed, "I'm pregnant."

"And a doctor told you this?" Bull glared skeptically.

"Yes! Why do people keep asking me that?" Benny rolled his eyes and dug into his pocket, he pulled put his wallet and along with it the sonogram picture.

"Who did you tell? Chunk?" Benny paused, realizing what he had just said and how stupid he must have been to say it.

"Well...that's not important right now. This is!" Benny handed Bull over the picture that was starting to wrinkle at the edges. Benny felt sentimental handing over the image; he hadn't noticed how often he'd looked at it until it wasn't in his possession anymore.

"How long have you known?" Bull stared in-depth at the image; it brought back a flood of unwanted memories that had him partially choked up. He knew somewhere he still had the sonogram from his and Izzy's first appointment, despite the turmoil and things ending badly, it felt shameful to throw it away.

"Since yesterday, I know I should have told you before Chunk. I just needed some advice and I was too scared to talk to you." Benny was scared even now, he wasn't sure whether it was the exhaustion, the nerves or his 'hormones' - like women seemed to complain about- but he felt teary and emotional.

"Afraid? Why would you be afraid to talk to me?" Bull hadn't realized just how far the two had drifted apart, it saddened him.

"After your ordeal with my sister, I didn't want to tell you until I'd figured out what to do." Bull sullenly acknowledged Benny's concerns with a slow head nod.

"You have the option?" He asked delicately.

"I do. I just don't have an answer yet." He wondered if he'd ever have an answer to that question, it had only been two days but already he was under tremendous amounts of stress that was giving him a headache.

"What do you want to do?" Bull was still seemingly in shock, deeper processing hadn't occurred yet, how did he feel? He had no idea. Part of him wanted to close his eyes and wish himself away and the other half wanted to be there to support his best friend.

"Chunk gave me some good advice. He told me that I would regret getting rid of the baby if I have doubts. In other words, my doubts are my unconscious' way of telling me that I want to keep it. Yet in my head, I know it's not such a good idea." He had his career to think about, he would have to change his entire single-guy loner lifestyle that he loved. He'd have to buy a new apartment, a car - his whole life would change.

"You want me to be your ego, and tell you what the reality of the situation is?"

"I need to know if you want to do this with me - not that I can't do it myself, or shall I terminate the pregnancy and we go back to our normal lives?" Was there a returning back to normal? His and Bull's friendship was already in ruins and undoubtedly he would have regrets for giving up the child.

"As normal as normal can be." Bull pulled Benny in for a rather close and tight hug. Benny seized up, not used to the contact.

"Even though we're not together? You'd still want us to have a baby?" Benny wasn't in love with Bull, that much he was certain, but in the event that he should decide to keep the baby, he was adamant that it would need two loving patents.

"Well, If you wanted to keep it, who am I to argue?" That wasn't exactly the answer Benny was hoping to hear but it was a positive response nonetheless. At least he knew Bull would do right by him and be by his side, "Do I have to decide now?"

"I've booked the termination procedure for 13 days from now. I can either cancel it or turn up on the day and have the procedure." After a long and awkward hug, Bull pulled away but left both hands on Benny's shoulders. The whole idea of a termination already didn't resonate with him well.

"Right; so I've got 13 days to give you an answer?"

"Yes." More importantly, _he_ had 13 days to decide.

"As it stands, today, I can honestly say that having a baby isn't something I expected to accomplish in my lifetime." He'd gotten his hopes up before; after they were torn from existence he'd lost faith in trying to start a family again. The possibility of reversing the clocks with Benny rather than his sister was slightly unnerving.

"And you think I did?"

"No, you told me when I first met you that you didn't want children. I remember that much clearly; but you also didn't want to become a lawyer back then either." Bull remembered a plucky Benny; long hair, dainty moustache and flared jeans. He hadn't made up his mind about life yet but Bull had major influence in pushing him towards law enforcement.

"People change Bull." Some changing daily - yet reflecting back on his life, this wouldn't be the first major decision he'd had to make suddenly. Deciding to go into law rather than business with his sister was his most recent challenge, but having a baby topped all experiences.

"Clearly." Bull smiled, "Although having children wasn't in my master plan, it doesn't mean that I don't want them. If you want this baby, so do I." Bull hesitantly drifted a hand towards Benny's stomach; he stopped before he made physical contact knowing it wouldn't be appreciated. He did notice the slight bulge that widened Benny's waistband but looking at it, it didn't even register in his mind that there was something living and growing.

"I'm glad you see it that way." He was desperately trying not to be swayed but the promise of support and companionship made the idea of having the baby a little more bearable. He couldn't understand why he believed at all, that he could be impartial in any way.

"Can I see it again?" Bull asked shyly.

"Sure." Benny handed Bull the picture once more.

"I remember your sister's first scan. She was excited… we both were." He stroked the small shape, it didn't look like much. It had no features or discernable body parts. It was too small to really tell what it was. Even still, it filled him with wonderment and admiration.

"You two came straight away, to tell me the good news."

"She didn't want to tell anybody until the first trimester was over, apparently it was unlucky. I persuaded her otherwise." Bull admitted regretfully.

"You can't blame yourself. The miscarriage was the result of a cyst."

"I know that. I was disappointed in myself for not being so supportive. It was a difficult time and I wasn't there for Izzy." Benny was surprised at how open Bull was being, he'd never told anybody about the stress of the miscarriage - which inevitably led to the divorce.

"You didn't know how to be, that's okay. It's not easy to comfort somebody when you're also hurting." Benny was also terrible at consoling people; at this very moment, he was uncomfortable and unsure about how to make Bull feel better.

"I don't think I could go through that a second time." Bull's words caught Benny off of guard, whilst he was considering termination; the thought of a miscarriage stirred his unregulated hormones.

"You're right. This is largely unprecedented, who knows what could happen." That dooming threat hung over his head. The only recent case occurred in rural China, there was little or no research and evidence to explain what's going to happen and about any complications.

"I'd say this is nothing short of a miracle. At the end of the day, it's your choice what happens next, but no matter what, I will be there for you. I'm a better person now; more adapt."

"Let's hope it never comes to that." Benny joked, mocking Bull's outwardly cold personality.

The conversation ended there with both of them making their way back through the building. Luckily they had left when they did as the night guards were doing a final sweep of the building before they locked up. Bull hailed Benny a taxi whilst getting out his own car keys. The taxi arrived promptly but Benny stopped before he could open the car door; "You can't treat me any differently, nobody can know."

"Wouldn't dream of it." Bull would try but ultimately he was incredibly bad at keeping secrets. He knew it would be hard to control himself, to act as if nothing was different, but he would try. The up most important thing, would to relax the atmosphere within the office, now that he and Benny had resolved their issues.

"Thanks, Bull." Benny replied before climbing into the taxi. Bull closed Benny's door like the gentleman he was and waved goodbye as Benny drove away.


	2. Chapter 2

Benny woke early the next morning hot and stuffy wrapped in his duvet. He rolled over to the cool side of the bed, thankful that it was always empty. Regrettably, now he was wide awake but it was still seemingly nice to lay in bed and relax. With the way things were heading this morning tranquility wouldn't be lasting too much longer. Should he make the final, life-changing decision to keep his baby, his mornings would be filled with chaos - he grimaced at the thought. At the same time the idea didn't seem that unpleasant, he was growing increasing lonely in the apartment by himself.

In the moment things had been quiet, but he'd lied in bed for more than an hour just staring at his bedside lamp, and his alarm went off for work. He had a dreadful day ahead; skydiving? No thank you. The stress of creating a lie and following through with it - deceiving his friends - would be too much. Getting in a plane and jumping from a tremendous height, although not mentioned in his booklets, was no doubt off of the tables for any pregnant person.

It would be just as easy to call in and take the day off. Nobody would have any suspicions, except Cable who would probably ridicule him the moment he came back into the office for being a ‘chicken'.

He needed to work, not for the money, but for the distraction. Sitting at home would ultimately lead him to think about the pregnancy, even more than he was already. Even though home was still the best place to throw up and he could pace out any cramps in peace, the confines of his four walls would drive him insane.

Benny climbed out of bed and drifted to the bathroom, he did his morning business. It seemed that he needed to urinate more frequently than usual. Such was to be expected according to his symptom diary provided in the pack he was given. Benny wasn't one for being meticulous but he did recognize the importance of reading up about what he'd gotten himself into, in order to make an informed choice. He was in for a tough ride.

Benny made himself some toast and a decaf coffee - caffeine would be something he'd miss dearly. He also prepared himself some lunch: a bagel with cream cheese, lettuce and tomato. After the night prior he felt slightly too traumatised to make himself anything for the day ahead. Lunch and a bag of dry snacks was just enough to last the day with his small appetite.

After a light breakfast he showered and dried himself off, again looking himself in the mirror at the changes, nothing had changed since the last time he looked. He was slightly concerned at how much weight he had gained thus far, it hardly seemed normal. The last thing he could handle would be twins, or perhaps worse, triplets. One was just enough. Regardless, he got dressed and packed a bag like he was told to; including slacks and shoes.

He left shortly after, making his usual commute to work via taxi. The guzzling and chugging of the taxi still made his stomach queasy. He spent the journey staring out of the window. He paid his driver and went on his way. Through the scanners and up several floors to the TAC office. When he walked out from the elevator he was greeted by the others who all appeared to be waiting for him.

“Where've you been? I've been calling your cell.” Bull hung up the phone, and put it back into his pocket. “We agreed to meet at 8.” Benny frowned, unsure as to what was going on.

“At 8? Oh. I'm sorry guys. I must have forgotten.” More likely that he missed that crucial part of information when he'd fallen asleep in the meeting yesterday.

“I've been calling you for an hour now.” Benny searched his pockets, having not heard his phone ring out at all, suddenly made him worry as to why that was.

“It's at home...damn. I left my phone at home.” That was a first, he'd never been so forgetful. His phone was always in his pocket of all things to forget, especially today. If he'd forgotten his phone, what else might be have absentmindedly forgotten. Come to think of it, he wasn't sure whether or not he'd locked his front door or even whether he'd turned the bathroom tap off on the basin. Was he developing ‘pregnancy brain brain' already, or was the thought of potentially jumping from a plane making him too nervous to think.

“It's fine. We all have those days.” Bull smiled lightheartedly. Seeing Benny with a fresh pair of eyes this morning, not as a co-worker or even as a best friend, but as somebody a whole lot more - a partner. He still couldn't believe it, in fact he spent most of the night last night thinking about the incredibly bizarre possibility of having a child with Benny. He could tell that Benny was still on edge about bring pregnant but Bull felt practically ecstatic. Being able to have another chance at being a father was a fragile, unpredictable yet exciting experience.

“Are we gonna get going or what?” Cable interrupted impatiently.

“Now we're all here...” Bull took a final sarcastic head-count of his employees, “let's go.” Everybody picked up their bags and joined Benny in the elevator.

“So the day will go as follows: we'll be given the tour, then given a crash course in aviation...” Marrisa began, “followed by drop practice and health and safety.” All of the above sounded horrific, even to begin with Benny was terrified of heights. Why he had to go in the first place was questionable.

“Then the drop?” Danny imposed excitedly.

“Ultimately. I for one can't wait!” Marrisa hardly seemed the daring type but she was the most enthusiastic about skydiving. The lift doors open and the team stream out, meeting the coach parked out front of the building. Benny hadn't noticed the coach sitting there when he came in, he was off his game today.

“Here, let me.” Bull grabbed Benny's rucksack from his shoulder and flung it over one of his own, “go get in.” Benny yanked the bag back.

“What are you doing?” He asked, rather aggressively.

“I'm taking your bag, I was going to pack it away for you.” He had innocent intentions but hardly thought it through.

“I asked you not to treat me any differently. I'm pregnant, not an invalid.” Benny spat out, louder than he probably should have. Bull was surprised to see Pitbull Benny, he rarely came out, especially not over trivial things like this.

“Got it, from now on, no special treatment.” Bull backed away, not wanting to make any more of the situation. It would be easier to let it be and have Benny in a pleasant mood rather than his ferocious alter ego.

“Like I said before, nobody can know.” He made stern eye contact, making sure that Bull had gotten the picture. He was serious this time and Bull, it couldn't be clearer, Benny wasn't going to tolerate any of Bull's charity.

“And nobody will.”

“Good.” Benny climbed the stairs of the bus and took a heavy seat next to Chunk. Watching as Bull too sat down. He sighed angrily. Chunk raised a brow, knowing that he'd have to ask rather than get any kind of explanation.

“What's up with you two?” As if he didn't already have a rough idea as to why the two of them were out of sorts. It hardly took a genius to decode their behavior - as subtle as it was.

“I told him.” Benny spat, still frustrated. Chunk's eyes blew up, he hadn't expected Benny to act so quickly. He was sure that he'd still be hounding his friend on day 14 to come clean, given how stubborn Benny was.

“And?” Chunk intensely stared at Benny, eager to know more.

“He's onboard.” Dumbfounded, Chunk would never have guessed that Bull would take the chance to be stung twice. Chunk understood Bull to be the way he was as a result of his failed marriage, that his cold and cynical nature was a reflective mechanism.

“Then why are you all huffy? Surely that's a good thing?” Chunk could get whiplash from Benny's indecisive nature. Just last night he wasn't sure as to whether he wanted Bull to know, worried about him rejecting the pregnancy. Now Benny was still in-edge about Bull being on his side.

“I told him not to treat me like a charity case, I don't want his help or special attention.”

“Is this about his taking your bag for you?” Chunk scoffed, astounded by what was actually happening.

“It's more than that Chunk.” Benny sighed with a heavy heart.

“No it's not. Listen, he's gonna want to help you,” he lowered his voice, “you're carrying his child. It's only natural that he'd feel inclined to want to assist you. Cut him some slack. If he wants to carry your bag, let him.” Chunk told Benny straight, Benny shook his head, he thought to himself, ‘Of course nobody would understand.’

“I'm perfectly capable of carrying my own bag. I'm the same person today than I was before I got pregnant.” Chunk had a realisation, this was hardly about having help, it was about change. That things were not the same and this was just the beginning.

“You're not. You're tired, nauseous and a little forgetful - I might add - should you want to have the baby, you'll have to accept the help.” Chunk put it frankly.

“What if I don't want it? What then? I don't want to raise any suspicion.” If the rest of the group knew about the baby then it would complicate things -like things could get any more complicated. Instead, he'd have to deal with everybody's opinions and expectations, when the only ones that truly poi mattered were his own.

“I get that. Just go easy on him. He's probably overcompensating, since he feels guilty about not being there for your sister.” Chunk spoke words of wisdom. It hadn't really crossed his mind that Bull night actually be deflecting.

“You're right.” He exhaled with anguish.

“How you doing today?” Chunk had to move the conversion along. He stopped to take notice of Benny's complexion and appearance.

“Not great, I'm terrified Chunk.”

“What about skydiving...suppose you're not coming up with us?”

“I don't know if I can talk my way out of this one. Let's just hope that Dylan or Cable don't make me go up otherwise the only thing that'll be falling from the plane will be vomit.” Benny had pictured it over and over in his head, each time was worse than the last. He'd pictured himself vomiting everywhere, accidentally tripping and stumbling out the door without a parachute, that the plane would crash. His fear of heights was amplified by his anxiety about the baby.

“Maybe take a motion sickness tablet?”

“I have. Can't be too careful.”

“You'll be fine.”

“Doubtful, I'm already in bad shape and we're only sitting on a coach.” Benny was greatly concerned that his morning sickness was in fact abnormally extreme. He'd feel nauseous in any moving vehicle, not a week ago he was planning to invest in a motorcycle - such image was completely out of the picture.

“Just try and take a nap or something? It'll take a few hours to get there.” Benny knew it was no lie that pregnant women were lethargic, little did he know is that the lethargy was a constant medium, even after a long night's sleep. He hadn't felt this tired since he was a rookie officer on the force.

“Good idea.” Whilst the coach seat was wildly uncomfortable, nothing seemed like a better plan than to sleep and ride the whole journey out.

~~~~~~~

Benny never really managed to fall asleep until the very last moment, the coach had been far too uncomfortable. Tossing and turning, with the belt being too tight around his mid-section or it would dig into his throat. It was far from the ideal place to rest his head. Regardless, he managed to briefly catch a few winks, during that time he had a profusely vivid dream.

In said dream, Benny envisioned the birth of his child. What in actuality was only a twenty minute power nap, felt like hours of excruciating pain.

*

“One more push, then you're done Mr Colón.” Benny lay in the hospital bed, knees tucked to his chest, he gripped them tightly. The joints of his fingers ran white as he bore down to push once more. A raging contraction shot through him; everything hurt, from his back to his hips, including his new nether-regions. Surrounding him was all his friends and even his sister, each egging him on, cheering and mimicking how to breathe.

Bull held Benny's hand, despite the death like grip that Benny held on to him with, he didn't wince or complain. Instead he kissed Benny's knuckles supportively. He gathered Benny's attention, “you can do this. It's almost over, do it for the baby.” As by that time Benny was exhausted, shaking with fatigue. Benny bit down on his bottom lip and nodded.

The contraction peaked and the doctor told Benny to push, with a rippling and almighty shriek, Benny pushed, he used the last reservoir of strength and gave the greatest push of them yet...

*

He woke with a chilling scream, beams of sweat collecting on his forehead and his heart beating uncontrollably.

“We haven't even jumped yet.” Cabled mocked, both Danny and Marrisa chuckled.

“You okay?”

“Fine...fine.” Benny exhaled heavily with relief, he was glad not to be in the delivery room anymore. His dream had given him raw insight into how tough birth would be, even from the short extract of reality, it was greatly offputting. He had a low pain threshold, dealing with giving birth seemed scarier now than ever.

“What was that about?” Bull asked from across the isle, he'd been watching Benny sleep, trying to analyse what he could have been dreaming about. Something unpleasant he presumed, given how unsettled Benny was as he slept.

“Bad dream is all.” A very bad dream indeed.

“Alright.” Although skeptical, he really didn't want to pry. All suspicions to himself, he and all the other TAC members got off of the bus.

“Are you gonna tell me what really happened?” Chunk grabbed his bag and Benny’s rucksack from the compartment, hoping that Benny hadn't noticed. As suspected, he wasn't any wiser. Chunk simply scoffed at Benny's rampant “pregnancy brain”. Bull had turned round to call the two out for walking so slowly when he saw the act. Slightly disheartened, he left well enough alone. Yet he couldn't control his mind from making a big deal out of something rather insignificant.

“God it was awful. I was in labor Chunk, fully fledged legs in stirrups, doctor between my groin. Worst experience I've ever had and that was only a dream.” Benny shuddered, talking about it made him feel incredibly embarrassed.

“You know what comes after that though right? People describe it as magic when you meet your child for the first time.”

“Is it worth going through all that pain?” Benny couldn't picture the sunshine after the storm. With no connections to anybody with children and having never really met many children, he was clueless about the joys of parenting.

“If it wasn't, you wouldn't be here. Hell, none of us would be here.” Chunk's words were compelling but barely persuasive enough.

“Well, whatever that was, it wasn't magical,” Benny recalled the amount of bodily fluids coating the doctor's gloves and scrubs and how the room smelled of sweat. That compiled with the agony and the beady eyes watching him made the whole ordeal more traumatic than he first imagined.

“Just get it out of your head. It's over now. It was only a dream.” No matter how potentially unrealistic his imagination was made little difference. He was petrified.

“I don't know if I want to do this, Chunk.” He shook his head profusely.

“You can't base your future on one silly little dream, a few painful hours for what? A lifetime of happiness.”

“I need a drink.” Not likely to happen but still gravely needed to calm his nerves. Needless to say, Benny had little patients and energy for the pre-flight crash courses. All that was running through his mind was the dream, everything else around him was balderdash.

 

Once inside the airport, they were brought to the changing rooms where there they would all get dressed into their spare clothes,

“With boys to the left and girls to the right.” Made for a very unnerving atmosphere in the men's changing room. With Chunk, Bull and Benny all fighting for something to say, the ladies changing room on the other hand was full of chatter.

“I've never been skydiving before, this'll be so exciting,” Marrisa exclaimed eagerly whilst Danny unzipped her dress.

“I have, only once though. It was a team-building excursion one year at the FBI. Our division had extra funds left over.” She replied with a smug grin. Danny had always been a thrill seeker and very outgoing; Marrisa, not so much. It was great to see this side of her.

“I know exactly how I'm going to do this; a couple of flips and maybe try and some turns. The V-R headset has given me a lot of practice.” Cable had been using her virtual reality headset to run simulations of the jump since they were first offered to go up. She knew that the real thing would be a lot more exhilarating but at least she had a routine down to film with her go-pro.

“Good luck, when that air pressure hits you, you'll be flailing around just trying to stay in position.” Danny could recall her own experience of trying to keep herself flat in the air, it was not a graceful three minutes.

“It'll be fun watching me try though, right?” Cable laughed.

“I just wonder how the guys will manage. Benny's extremely phobic of heights.” Marrisa hadn't really thought about the boys, it barely crossed her mind whilst confirming the session. Bull had ensured her that everything would be fine, that Benny would “pluck up the courage to overcome his fear”.

“Oh yeah! Something tells me he shouldn't be going up at all.” Danny had noticed Benny's change in behavior recently, even though she wasn't in the office as often as everybody else.

“I wonder what's up with him? He told us he went to the doctor's but never said anything about what's wrong. I know he's a private guy and all but we're his best friends.” Benny had simply told his team that there was nothing to worry about and that he would be out of the woods relatively soon.

“As long as you don't go snooping around, Cable. If Benny doesn't want to tell us then it's obviously nothing serious.” Marrisa seemed the only sane one in the room.

“Do you think Bull will jump?” Cable quickly changed the subject.

“Not if Benny doesn't,” Danny replied.

“Really?”Cable asked, rather surprised.

“Of course! Bull would never leave Benny alone like that.”Marrisa confirmed, it was only recently that the two had been in a similar situation at the top of the new sky-bridge that had opened. Bull had tried to get Benny to cross but the illusion bottomless glass made Benny too scared to cross. Bull had waited with Benny until the others had returned.

“What's going on between them two anyway?”Admittedly, she wasn’t as close to Bull and Benny as the others, and often felt quite out of the loop.Cable was young and different to everybody else, it made her unique but hard to bond with. Bull often saw Cable as a daughter figure or a niece rather than a close friend.

“Who knows? Men are complicated creatures.”Danny scoffed, her checkered love life read like a thriller novel - full of ups, downs, and suspense.

“That they are. That they are. Especially those two, I’ve got to say.” Marrisa had known Bull for a very long time, longer than anybody on the team and she still found Bull hard to read; predictable but reserved.

“I wouldn’t be totally surprised if they were gay.” Danny shot out bluntly. Marrisa and Cable fell apart with laughter! “It’s not far of a stretch. The way those two have been acting, all distant and sketchy...” Danny defended herself.

“The two probably just fell out, It probably happened just after we took on Benny’s sister’s case.” Both Danny and Cable nodded in agreement. It was around then that the two began acting differently, The group were fully immersed in the Colón family drama a few weeks ago, which was something nobody wanted to relive.

“Well, let's hope they get over this soon.”The friction between the two was creating great levels of tension and barely any work was getting done.

“Don’t we all.” Marrisa echoed in agreement.

 

Getting changed made him feel incredibly self-conscious, unbuttoning his vest top already seemed too revealing. Whilst both Chunk and Bull both knew about him being pregnant, he still felt ashamed of his physique. Benny faced the other way, hanging each item of clothing on the pegs provided. He left little opportunity for peeping toms to catch a glimpse of anything, once his shirt was off, he had his tee ready in hand.

Bull had seen, it wasn’t intentional, but he didn’t look away. The slight bulge along Benny’s waistline lay bare. He had to remind himself as to what hide beneath the skin - his child - a baby. Lest he not forget to refrain from becoming emotionally attached; no matter how difficult that would test to be. Although brief, the sight brought with it an overwhelming sense of paternal pride. So much so, he had to turn his head in fear that somebody would see him gawking or even blushing with excitement.

The three men stayed rather silent as they got dressed, Chunk was relatively surprised, having thought that the two had made amends. Then again, nothing was really going to have had changed over the course of 12 hours.

 

The gang all came from their respective rooms wearing bright orange jumpsuits, Danny had made the remark that they all looked like inmates from ‘Orange is the New Black’, it did lighten the mood somewhat.

Dylan took them all to see the planes, walking around the warehouse. Luckily the police had finished investigating the plane in question so there was no tape or restrictions. Next was the pre-flight instructions and health and safety. There Dylan took the time to discuss the different types of falls, how to exit the plane and of course how to release the parachute. Dylan also went over the health and safety aspects and fitted everybody with a harness.

“Now, there are risks associated with jumping, so I will have to get you guys to sign a liability contract.” Dylan handed out a clipboard and pen to each of the members, to sign a waver for any damages or injuries sustained during or as a result of the jump. “The waver basically outlines the possible risks, including muscle pain, fractures and lost property. Only take up with you what you wouldn’t mind losing. We get it all the time; people losing their watches, rings...you know.”

“Got it, no rings.” Bull reiterated.

“Now, I don’t know if any of this applies but there are certain possibly dangers of skydiving whilst pregnant. Not too long ago we had a woman suffer from hypoxia which is where the mother and child doesn’t receive adequate oxygen at altitudes above 7000 ft. The likelihood of bodily harm is amplified whilst pregnant as bones and muscles are not as strong.” Benny looked to Bull, who was also looking at him. His heart had sunk to his stomach as was beating excessively. Had he had the guts to tell the truth about his predicament, he would feel less petrified.

“If somebody among us was?” Bull responded.

“Then I’d advise them to tell me and I’d have them stay behind...none of you are pregnant right?” Dylan asked, just to be sure.

“Girl, I couldn’t be further from pregnant,” Danny replied sarcastically, her current relationship situation was far from intimate, she was as single as it came and glad for it.

“Good, alright then. Let’s get up in the air!” Dylan prompted the pilot to start the engine as she opened the gate. The engine of the plane chugged and spewed awake, the blades began to turn and everybody climbed in and took their seats.

“Bull...” Benny whispered with a worried expression written across his face. He didn’t know what to do with himself.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to jump.” Bull placed a comforting hand on Benny’s lap and stroked his knee. He gave a reassuring smile trying to calm Benny the best he could without raising suspicion.

“Seatbelts everyone.” Dylan reminded. Once all belts were fastened she called to the pilot, “Lift her up Hank!” Hank drove the plane down the runway and gently lifted the nose into the air. Benny closed his eyes tightly and held his beath, he felt like crying, he was so terror-stricken.

“Lift-off is usually rough, it should be calm sailing from here on.” Dylan snorted, as she looked around at the troubled faces before her. “Once we get to 11000 ft I’ll give you all the chance to jump. Rest assured your gear has been thoroughly checked.” Afterall, it would be understandable that the group be nervous, as that is what the company is being taken to court for.

As the altitude increased, Benny’s stress levels did also. He began having a panic attack, exhaling and inhaling abnormally quickly and trembling. Bull held Benny’s hand and squeezed it tightly, he breathed in Benny’s ear, “Stress isn’t good for the baby. You’ve got to calm down.”

“I can’t, it’s too high...we’re too high up.” He gulped.

“Look at me.” Bull demanded, Benny shook his head. “Look at me.” Bull grabbed Benny by the chin and pulled him in. He had no choice but to open his eyes, for the first time since they took off, he could see. “It’s okay, you’re going to be alright.” Bull and Benny made intense eye contact.

“I’m going to be sick.” Benny’s bottom lip quivered and his voice wavered.

“No you’re not.” Bull told him sternly. “There’s nothing to worry about, being in the air isn’t scary. You’re not going to jump and I’m going to be here with you. We’re just flying, it’s perfectly safe.” Benny nodded and took a deep breath in and exhaled. He knew his fear of heights was irrational, flying was a safer mode of transport than cars, but that fact still didn’t make him feel any more assured.

“Right, we're at optimum height. Whose first?” Dylan took off her seat belt and stood up. The plane was flying straight now so there was very little resistance making the plane more stable.

“Me!” Danny jumped up first.

“Eager, I like it.” Dylan gave Danny’s gear a final look and tightened her straps. “Make your way round the edge of the plane and hold onto the handle until you’re ready to jump.” Danny followed the rope handle around the edge of the plane until she reached the door.

“Ready!” She yelled, giving a thumbs up.

“45seconds, remember. Then release the tab.” Dylan gave her the go-ahead to jump and Danny wasted no time before taking the leap. Dylan watched as Danny began to make her decent. The clear skies were perfect for skydiving.

Marrisa and Cable were next, the two had decided to jump together with one parachute. Marrisa had developed cold feet once in her harness and Cable thought going with her would make some excellent photos.

“Want me to stay?” Chunk asked Benny, before taking off his belt.

“No, go on. You’ll regret it.” Benny replied with hoarse breath.

“Alright, I’ll see you on the other side.” Chunk rushed to make his jump, racing with excitement. Dylan gave Chunk a pat on the back and he bravely jumped from the plane. Benny winced as Chunk vanished from sight. He couldn’t imagine not seeing him ever again, should something happen, such thoughts made him extremely distressed once again.

“Are either of you going to take the leap of faith?” Dylan coaxed.

“No, we’re good.” Benny’s eyes exploded with fright. Bull had warned Dylan before hand that he may not be jumping, especially if Benny would refuse to jump.

“Are you sure? We could do a Tandum jump if you’re slightly scared?” Dylan offered. Even the idea of jumping out of a plane with the instructor was still out of Benny’s comfort zone.

“Why would we jump out of a perfectly good plane?” Benny joked and laughed fakely.

“No problem. I’ll have to leave the two of you to make your way back with Hank, your friends will need me once they land.” Dylan stood, ready to jump. Once given the approval she too made her way to the bottom.

“Alright you two, I’ll be coming in for the landing,” Hank called from the cabin. Not too soon after, the plane took a slow nosedive as the pilot maneuvered through the high altitude.

“Bull, this time, I’m going to be sick.”Bull frantically looked around for something to catch the vomit in as Benny covered his mouth. When Benny turned a sickly green, Bull gave up and unknowingly put out his own hands.

Benny threw up straight into Bull’s hands. As if this day wasn’t traumatizing enough already. Benny continued to retch and empty his stomach, it went down his jumpsuit, all over his and Bull’s lap and splashed all over the floor. Bull looked on with horror, trying to hold himself back from also flooding the plane.

“Let it out, let it out,” Bull spoke, comfortingly.

“I’m sorry.” Benny wiped his mouth and surveyed the damage. He felt utterly and completely humiliated.

“It’s fine.” Bull flicked his hands, getting most of the sick off. He looked around for a towel or something of equal value to clean some of the mess up.

“It’s this baby, I can barely hold anything down,” Benny admitted with defeat. He'd been ill before, plenty of times, he was actually quite a sickly child. Yet, he'd never experienced such discomfort and fragility before.

“Sorry that you’re having to go through this,” Bull spoke, sympathetically.

“It’s not your fault - completely.” The two chuckled lightly.

“Congratulations on being an anomaly.”

“Had to be me, hu?” One in every 800 million - was it? And Benny Colón had to fall victim to a cruel joke on behalf of the universe.

“Oh of course. The universe is out to get you, didn’t you know that?” Bull teased.

“Heck, I do now.” His faith in God still troubled him, was this God's plan? Had this been a blessing or a curse? He wasn't sure. What he did know, is that he didn't deserve it. He had accomplished nothing in life worthy of being blessed nor had he committed a great sin.

“Have you thought about it anymore today?” The tension thrashed down like lightening in a storm.

“I have...” Benny nodded, his lips perched in an upside-down smile.

“Yeah?”

“I’m still not sure. I had this dream and it kinda opened my eyes a little to something I hadn’t given much attention to.” It had only been a few days since the ‘big reveal’ but he hadn't even given labor a second thought.

“Right...”

“What about you, have you...you know...?”Trailing off, Benny felt too self-conscious to continue.

“I couldn’t even sleep last night, so much was going through my mind.but I don't regret sleeping with you if that makes a difference?” Bull revealed, quite shamelessly.

“You don't?” Benny scoffed. He had felt pretty embarrassed after the fact, like he had no self-control. He would have never guessed that Bull actually enjoyed himself, what with the way he acted not hours later.

“Sex doesn't have to be about love, it was a night of passion.” Bull replied, enthusiastically.

“Even still...” He reservedly shrugged, Benny had never been one for casual sex, despite being quite handsome in his youth. Partially because of his Catholic morals and partially because of his overbearing sister.

“Even better, something great came out of it.” Bull's fervent excitement was all too cringeworthy. Bull was evidently more joyful than Benny, even though he wasn't the one carrying “something great”.

“We can’t make any rash decisions and rush into anything, we need to give it careful thought. Just don’t get too excited or anything.” Until he knew exactly which way his emotions were driving him, it was best for Bull to remain nonchalant about the ordeal to avoid being heartbroken once again. Although, it did seem like a wasted request.

“Would you blame me if I did?” Bull did, he could admit it. Yet, he hated the fact that Benny was so indecisive. Right then and there took on the important job of persuading Benny, anyway he knew how.

“Bull...” Benny began.

“I know.”Bull nodded, he understood what would come next and didn’t really want to hear it, “We're on the ground, would you look at that.”Being so lost in conversation, neither of them had even realized that the plane had landed and that they were no longer moving.

“I hadn't even realized.”Benny was relatively surprised with himself for not freaking out when the plane hit the ground.

“We made it, see, it wasn't that scary was it?”Bull coaxed mockingly.

“Well no, I suppose not.”If looks could kill, Bull would have been in pieces splatted all over the walls of the plane by now.

“Dylan's going to be mortified when she sees this mess.”

“Luckily I still have my other clothes to change into...I do regret not bringing a second pair of underwear.” His current pair were soaked through with vomit. He was sticky and smelly and in desperate need of a shower.

Dylan wasn't as horrified as they had expected her to be. Instead, she laughed, saying that ‘it happened all too often’, she was incredibly level-headed and supportive. She performed necessary first aid; testing Benny's blood pressure and monitoring his pupil dilation. Benny assured her it was simply motion sickness accompanied by his nerves.

Benny’s legs had turned to jelly as he trembled and stacked over his own feet. Bull helped him from the plane where his friends all stood crowding round. Benny felt incredibly bashful walking past the others, with his clothes covered in sick, he knew he'd never live this day down. Dylan took the two to the shower room to get cleaned up. Bull let Benny take his shower first but waited outside the door holding Benny's clean clothes.

Benny threw the jumpsuit in the corner, he pondered over whether it would be best for Dylan to just throw the thing away. He stripped off and stepped under the shower head. The warm stream washed away all the dried sick.

An absent-minded hand slipped towards his stomach, never had he admired how soft his skin was. He did notice the subtle rise that wasn't there before. It was conflicting, the growth brought such pride but also crippling anxiety, he didn't know what to do with himself or how he was ever going to make a decision. Today was the first time he'd even referred to his bump as a “baby”. It was only too easy to be frustrated with his position when he felt as sick as he did, like Chunk said, it won't last forever. Yet, he couldn't stand being stuck like this.

He broke down. With the water erasing his tears as they fell, he let the stress freefall.


	3. Chapter 3

“I'm sorry.” Benny had spent three-quarters of an hour in the shower, mostly wallowing in his own self-pity. He came out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist, water dripping down his chest from his hair, now flat against his forehead. The two tried to avoid eye contact, with Bull knowing that Benny spent his time crying, and Benny not wanting to flash his bloodshot eyes.

  
“For what?” Bull laughed, with a million and one things Benny could apologize for: telling Chunk first, withholding information, yelling at him...the list went on.

  
“For being sick on you,” Benny replied bashfully.

  
“Now, I think you'll remember, that I held my hands out.” As stupid as that idea was, he chocked it down to a momentary lapse in sanity, low oxygen and what not.

  
“Why did you do that anyway?” Benny laughed. He smiled apologetically as he gazed at Bull who was still dressed in his orange flight jumpsuit.

  
“No idea.” Bull grimaced, reliving the moment he shivered violently.

  
“I'm also sorry that you're more excited about this than I am.” He had a lot of time to think things through in the bathroom, he came to the conclusion that the elephant in the room needed to be addressed after it was so easily dismissed on the plane.

  
“I'm sorry that you're not more excited.” Albeit this came as quite a shock, he would have thought that something so miraculous would fill his friend with joy. Apparently not, but who doesn't love babies?

  
“I wish I was, but I'm scared Bull.” He stated bravely.

  
“Having a baby is the most natural thing anybody can do.” Bull attempted to reassure him.

  
“As a man?” Benny gestured his frustration with his hands.

  
“Okay, well, maybe not.” He said, defeated. With no prior precedent to call back on, he had no clue how to respond to make Benny feel more confident.

  
“The doctor thinks I'll be perfectly fine.”

  
“What's there to worry about then?” Bull perked up. He hadn't been there when Benny found out about his situation so, so far knew very little which put him on edge.

  
“Everything...whether the baby will be okay, or if I'll survive labor, even down to whether or not I'll be a good dad.” He was rather depleted, his own father had died even before he was born, he had no idea what it meant to be a father. What's worse, if he dies during labor and his child has to be raised without him.

  
“I know you're anxious, for most people having a baby is a big change, it's easy to feel disenfranchised. As attachment theorists suggest, our parents lay a pretty important framework to follow when we become parents.”

  
“It's not a done deal, Bull.” Benny had no paternal or maternal instincts at all, how would he be able to take care of his own children when he didn't even desire to have any?

  
“The chances are, you'll be an excellent parent. Just like your mother and her mother before her.” Benny rolled his eyes, knowing that Bull wasn't at all listening to his concerns, only trying to make excuses in an effort to make him feel better.

  
“And you Bull? Are you ready to become a father?” He shot out.

  
“No. That doesn't mean that I won't be ready when the time comes. No single person is ever ready to start a family.” That made Benny a whole lot more anxious, Bull knew he'd put his foot in his mouth.

  
“I'm not ready, I don't think I'll ever be ready.” Benny signed heavily.

  
“You still have 12 days to make that decision.” Bull said in earnest.

  
“Days? Bull, I'm going to need years!” He stressed, raising his arms in the air.

  
Bull grabbed the erratic Benny by his shoulders and looked him in the eyes, “Listen to me, you don't have years. All I know is that I know you. You'll keep this baby.” He'd never been so sure if anything.

  
“Maybe you don't really know me at all.” He shoved Bull's hands away angrily.

  
“I know everything about you, from that time you embarrassed yourself singing in your 5th grade Christmas play to what your morning routine is.” Benny glared as Bull bit his knuckle playfully.

  
“Izzy told you that didn't she?” He shook his head with disappointment, his own sister had ratted him out on the most traumatizing experience of his life. Then again, why wouldn't she? He knew his sister Izzy was pure evil.

  
“It doesn't matter where I got that information, the fact is, I know you.” He paused, looking Benny with affirming eyes.

  
“Okay, you've proven your point.” Benny blotted his face with a hand towel, he was still dripping wet which had made him incredibly cold, so cold his nipples became erect and the hairs on his arms stood at their ends.

  
“At the end of the day, this is your decision. You've heard my input, now it's all up to you.” Seeing as there was very little wiggle room with Benny today, he thought it fruitless to continue.

  
“I thought that having a baby was supposed to be the epitome of life.” Children are idolized as a significant part of the ‘American Dream' in this child-centered society. Yet the truth is, many women are actively choosing not to have any children. Benny didn't want the white picket fence or the Range Rover. He was perfectly content with his small apartment, fit for him and himself.

  
“The epitome of life is subjective. Not everybody wants children, and that's okay. Right now you're in this situation where you have to make a decision, not just on how you feel now, but how you picture yourself in the future.”

  
“That’s just it, I don’t have any direction, I don’t know what my future is going to be like.” With no motivation to improve his career and no plans for the future made him suddenly depressed. Where was his life heading to, he wondered.

  
“Then, shouldn’t this give you some form of certainty?” Bull provoked. 

  
“Rather, instead, it brings more uncertainty.” Benny couldn't be certain if he or his child would live through birth so it was easy to say that his life had no certainty. The fact is, he hadn't had any since he became pregnant. The easy way out looked promising.

  
“Control is very important to you?” Bull blurted out, rather off topic.

  
“Why would you say that?” He replied, rather offended.

  
“For somebody with an external locus of control, you sure show a lot of autonomy.” He squinted inquisitively.

  
“Don’t analyze me, Bull.” Benny snarled. Things had notably taken a sour turn, Benny no longer wanted to converse. Instead, he just grew angry at Bull for overstepping his mark and knowing no bounds.

  
“Sorry.” He croaked.

  
“Your turn.” Benny snatched his clothes from Bull’s arms and stormed away angrily, rightly so, Bull thought; knowing he had done wrong. As a doctor in psychology, analysis came as a sixth sense, an instinct, but that often got him into trouble with those closest to him, who didn’t like to be examined.

  
Benny got dressed rather quickly, feeling great to be in his own clothes again and not covered in sick. He exhaled heavily with relief, ‘back to normality’ he thought to himself. Now he had to simply reunite with his friends and pretend like nothing happened when they all, in fact, bore witness to him making a hasty exit from the plane. Walking down the halls, and to the reception room, he prayed that nobody would raise any questions or make any comments. Given the curious nature of his team, he didn’t hold much hope.

  
As he reached the reception, his colleges rose to their feet all rushing to show their support. Which was exactly what Benny expressly wanted to avoid.

  
“What happened to you up there?” Marrisa swooped her arms around Benny, it was clear that she had been seriously worried.

  
“It was just my medication that the doctor gave me, it makes me nauseous enough already...and with the flying...” Benny lied, as a lawyer naturally does.

  
“You poor thing,” Marrisa replied, with a generous back rub.

  
“Seriously, dude, if you didn’t want to go up; I wouldn’t have teased you forever.” Cable joked, trying to arouse a smile from her friend. She considered it a success when Benny broke out his innocent grin.

  
“As highly unlikely as that sounds...” Benny began.

  
“You should have sat this one out, you know you’re sick.” Chunk slyly raised a brow, indicative of the real matter at hand. Chunk was feeling particularly guilty for leaving Benny and Bull alone in the plane. His every instinct told him to stay because something terrible was due to happen, but he still jumped from that plane. Although he was slightly disappointed in Benny for going up in the first place.

  
“Well, I won’t be sick for much longer.” He revealed happily. Chunk was taken back by the remark, he wondered how Benny could make such a brazen statement so easily.

  
“That’s good to hear, we need our in-house council in tip-top shape.” Danny voiced rather chipper; still extremely high with adrenaline.

  
“Give it two weeks and I’ll be as good as new.” Boldly spoken from somebody so conflicted.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Bull was done, not ten minutes later and the group headed back to the coach to begin their journey back to TAC. After a rather eventful team building exercise, the squad was worn out and exhausted from the adrenaline low. From the TAC building, Bull sent his employees home for a much needed early finish.

  
All but one graciously took the offer, Chunk waited behind. “Dr. Bull, a word?” Chunk asked from the doorway of Bull's office.

  
“Sure.”He followed inside and shut the door upon invitation. His posture stiff and demeanor extremely ajar, Bull could tell that whatever was to come from Chunk's lips was not going to be very positive.

  
“I’m just going to come right out with it,” He took a long pause, waiting to be sure he had full control of Bull's undivided attention. “Benny’s got me worried.”

  
“How so?” Bull frowned with confusion.

  
“Earlier on, when you were in the shower, Benny was saying some disturbing things. Very finite disturbing things.” Chunk raised his left brow to emphasise his point. He'd been extremely unnerved by Benny recently. Knowing that his friend wasn't eating right or getting much sleep and saying regrettable things off of the top of his head.

  
“Like what?” Bull leaned for more information. Despite being the father and more importantly, Benny's best friend, he was extremely out of the loop on everything. He resented Chunk slightly for being Benny's confidant.

  
“Well, he kept telling everybody about how he was soon going to be okay.” Chunk spoke, cryptically. 

  
“Okay...?” Bull's eyes darted side-to-side in a slaphappy manor.

  
“As in, it's almost like he’s made the decision to have the procedure done.” Chunk couldn't bring himself to use the word ‘abortion'. Although he had no reservations about abortion, saying the word out loud seemed taboo.

  
“Seeing as we both are the only ones who know that Benny’s pregnant, it seems appropriate that I tell you that he’s talking out of fear.” From what he could collect from their earlier conversation, it was evident that Benny was scared, petrified in fact.

  
“I know he is. Just how do we persuade him otherwise?” It was beginning to take its toll, seeing his dear friend so uncomfortable in his own skin, suffering so badly.

  
“We don’t. We have to trust that he’ll reach the correct decision by himself. We both know he’s going to keep the baby; his Catholic morals and appreciation for life will ultimately tip him over to one side.” Bull's logic was mutual, Chunk too knew that Benny was incapable of getting an abortion. Yet, not tackling his buddy's distress head-on was worrying. He'd largely blame himself should Benny slip into depression.

  
“We can’t know that for sure.” Chunk reclaimed.

  
“I’ve known Benny for a very long time, he’s easily predictable.” Regardless of recent events of which he could never have predicted, underneath this morbid Benny was regular and routine Benny.

  
“What do you suggest we do, in the meantime?” He appealed.

  
“We leave him to it. If we pry too much he’ll push us away even more.” It wasn't just Chunk who would have a trying time fighting off his natural urges, Bull knew also that he need make good word on his promises and stay as distant as he could - like everything was normal - just as Benny had wanted.

  
“I suppose...” Hesitant as to whether or not that approach was to even work, he knew that Bull was right. Benny was tiresome of the advice and forced intervention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the 1st half to a chapter I'm working on :) I thought it best to split it in half. Chapter 4 will be up shortly.


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

 

A few days had passed since that unforgettable day, the case had been closed after quite a twisted and unexpected discovery and days returned back to their uneventful nature. Business was slow, slower than usual. Yet all staff made an effort to turn up every day despite the lack of apathy. Benny made the greatest effort of all, attempting to act as normal as possible.

  
He struggled daily with his morning sickness but refused to give in. Nobody was to be any the wiser. His fatigue was bearable, sleeping as soon as he got through the door and all the way until morning - skipping dinner routinely. It wasn't healthy and he knew it but starving himself was the only sure way that he wouldn't be violently ill the next day. The only problem with his plan was that having eaten nothing he no energy. It led to a never-ending cycle.

  
Today was set to be like every other this week, that is until Chunk brought the team a case straight to their doorstep. A young primary school teacher by the name of Erin Howland was scammed by a boiler room pump and dump, stock market scheme endorsed by Brannigan Trust.

  
“Okay Erin, this is the team; Marrisa, Cable, Danny and our in-house counsel, Benny.” Bull introduced his entourage one by one, each of them giving Erin a firm hand-shake.

  
“It's nice to meet you all.” She noted politely whilst making intense eye contact with Benny. Oddly enough, Benny also couldn't take his eyes off of the young lady.

  
“Now, I'll see if I can have a word with their CEO. Maybe we could try and keep this out of court.” Bull suggested, having known the CEO Griffin Fuller for more than a decade, it would be inappropriate to ignore any influence he had.

  
“That would be great since I don't even have any money to pay for your services.” Erin sighed with relief, she wasn't looking to go to court, when she had asked Chunk for help it was strictly advisory. It would only be a burden if TAC took her case on and lost money as a result.

  
Bull went to see the CEO of Brannagin Trust to find out exactly what the company had to say about Erin's accusation. The meeting did not go well at all. When questioned about the stockbroker division he denied any connection, shifting liability to an alternative investment project which had since been disbanded. Bull had defended Erin to all measures and quite simply asked for her money back. To such request, the CEO refused, claiming that it would be illogical to refund all losses to those who have invested in the market since that's how stocks work; they rise and very suddenly crash.

  
Bull had a plan, a very expensive and unpredictable plan; but a plan nonetheless.  
“Right.” Bull strode through the doors to the TAC office full of confidence, “that was a total bust.” Faced dropped all-round. “The good news is, we will be taking your case.”

  
“But I don't have any money.” Erin reinstated, full of confusion.

  
“Pro-bono, everything on us.” Marrisa raised a concerned brow, wondering if Bull had even been listening to her recent speeches about how the company needed to take on more clients as they were losing money - and quickly at that. “If my plan all goes swimmingly, you won't have to worry about your savings. The payout will be extortionate.”

  
“And what exactly is this master plan of yours?” Marrisa asked skeptically.

  
“Erin, you're going to take the bank to court. You and whomever else has been scammed. Gang, we've got a class action lawsuit on our hands.” Bull clapped his hands together triumphantly, feeling more allured. The room was silent, nobody seemed to share Bull's enthusiasm, not even Erin.

  
“Bull, we could be looking at thousands of people here,” Benny called out.

  
“Then we'd better get a move on. I want the names and faces of everybody who's lost their money at the grips of Brannagin Trust.” He left his people to get on with the work, after all, there was a lot of it to be done.

  
“He's finally cracked.” Cable said mockingly before getting to work.

  
“I suppose I'll order us a couple of pizzas, this is going to be a busy night,” Danny suggested, instantly lightening the mood. A long night of sleuthing would be sure to work up an appetite, what better than a sloppy New York pizza, to fill that hole?

  
“You know it!” Cable swiveled in her chair playfully. A pizza was just what everybody needed at 7 PM with the dreadful prospects of an all-nighter ahead.

  
One phone call and 45 minutes later, the group had 6 fresh pizzas; one of each from the menu. The smell of hot dough and mozzarella cheese was unmistakable and drifted all around the building. Benny sat away from the others, the smell of pizza was nauseating and tempting all at the same time. He refrained and continued to look through the case material.

  
“Here it's your favorite.” Danny brought Benny over three slices of the chicken and BBQ base.

  
“No thanks...I'm on a diet.” He lied, had he a dollar for every time he'd lied to his friends recently, he'd be rich enough to stuff his job. In actuality, all of this deception made him feel incredibly guilty.

  
“You? On a diet?” She scoffed.

  
“It gets harder to lose weight when you get old, doesn't it?” Cable yelled from across the room, as cheeky as ever.

  
“Hey, I'm not old!” Benny retaliated.

  
“Well whatever you're doing, it's sure working. You look a lot thinner in the face.” Danny reported honestly with a smile. Benny hadn't expected a response, nor did he think his weight loss or gain -for that matter - was apparent.

  
“Thanks...” He replied groggily.

  
“You do seem a little more tired than usual, what regime are you using? High card dieting really takes a toll on your body.” She gave solid advice. Not only had Benny not been eating much, what he did eat was all carbs.

  
“I'll keep that in mind.” He forced an awkward fake smile at his friend's forewarning.

  
“You can have one cheat day every once in a while.” Danny did seem a little concerned, everybody did, Benny knew that but stuck to it regardless. His co-workers were just too nosey but he loved them. If they showed no worry about his health he'd be pretty tipped off too.

  
“I'll pass,” Benny said firmly.

  
“I'll let you get back to it.” Danny left the pizza sitting on the desk in front of Benny, if he was as strong-willed as he thought he was, he would have thrown the pizza into the trash. Instead, he watched it like a hawk whilst his stomach groaned with starvation. He knew he couldn't continue on this path for much longer before he collapsed.

  
Instead of focusing his energy on scouring through legislation and case law, all he could do was stare at the food in his wake. It took all of his willpower to turn his nose up at the invitation. Benny couldn't stand much more of this, he had to leave, his co-workers were murmuring and he was in no mood to pretend all was okay.

  
He closed his books and stacked them one by one, grabbed his bag and tucked in his chair. “Where are you going?” Marrisa called as Benny began to walk away.

  
“Home, I'll see you guys in the morning.” He left a trail of gaping mouths.

  
“Do you guys think that there's more than what Benny's telling us?” Cable asked, inquisitively. Her coworkers shrugged, they too were not insensible to the very apparent changes in Benny's demeanor; his tiredness, his sickness, his unpredictable abrasiveness and most of all the apparent secrecy.

  
“Why would Benny hide anything from us?” Danny replied, although she had a lot more trust in Benny than Cable, even she had to admit that things were becoming suspicious.

  
“Guys, this is Benny we're talking about.” Chunk stepped in at Benny's defense, “if something is wrong then he'd tell us.” Chunk had successfully made his friends feel incredibly remorseful. Wishful thinking had him hoping Benny would soon come out to the rest of the group and end his charade of cover-ups.

  
“You're right.” Menacingly, she gave a sly smile. Chunk noticed but decided not to further the matter. If Cable was as curious as he knew she was, even if he told her not to dive into an investigation, she would do it anyway. At least he considered Cable extremely trustworthy.

  
3 AM, Danny, and Marrisa had fallen asleep some time ago and Cable was still up, scouring the dark web for information and dirt on Brannigan Trust and it's stockbrokers. She'd been waiting for a chance to conduct her own research.

  
Not only did she not believe Benny and his ‘I'm fine' mantra, she was also growing paranoid that she had been left out of some kind of important secret that everybody but her seemed to already know. It was that growing urge for knowledge that fueled her dark side. Starting with illegally obtaining Benny's medical records.

  
Starting from childhood, his record was several pages long -  
At two months old: Benny was diagnosed with eczema.  
At 4 years old: Benny was diagnosed with asthma.  
At 6 years old: Benny fell from a tree and broke his radius and fractured his femur.  
At 7 years old: Benny developed pneumonia and spent two months in the hospital.  
At 16 years old: Benny got a hernia in his stomach on the first day of training in the force.  
At 24 years old: Benny was involved in a car collision. He bruised his orbital bone which required stitches as well as dislocating his shoulder which was appropriately set in the E.R.

  
She scrolled through the many pages that made up Benny's entire life, with a fair few pages left, she decided to skip to the end.  
The last page documented urine tests for HCG levels. With the results coming back as observing abnormally high HCG levels. The page also read, that the proceeding day a follow-up examination took place where a blood sample was taken and an ultrasound.

  
Cable frowned, all of this information seemed rather strange. With no background in science, the information made little sense. She carried on reading through the medical jargon, not having much of a foot to stand on or any answers to her questions. That is until she found a further attached file at the foot of the page. The link took her directly to a photo album containing several ultrasound pictures.

  
She picked apart the pictures, what they were of, was rather ambiguous. So in order to understand them, she dug deeper into the physical tests, including the HCG. Results flagged immediately even after a short Google search, all related to pregnancy.  
Her brain went into overdrive, with clarity setting in, she flipped straight back to the pictures. She realized each image was an ultrasound picture of a baby. Whilst small and barely discernable, still visible. Benny's name at the top made it unquestionably obvious that these were his and not some sort of filing error. Benny was 7 weeks pregnant at the time, and she now distinguished that he must be at least 8 weeks along.

  
It all made perfect sense. Nausea, the fatigue, the cramps and the mood swings; all symptoms of pregnancy.

  
Quite frankly astounded, she sat back in her chair. She was far from annoyed with Benny for keeping secrets, she was sure that she had to be the only one who knew. What she would do with the information was beyond her; would she tell Benny that she knew, would she pretend to be ignorant on the matter? More importantly, how would Benny react if she knew, would he’d be angry or relieved? Such an invasion of privacy was bound to break his trust. Thus she faced the moral dilemma of what exactly to do.

  
Eventually, the sun came back up and the TAC team all naturally awoke with the smell of fresh coffee. Bull strode in with several large cups of coffee and a box of doughnuts to reward his hard-working fairies who had slaved the night away on his behalf.

  
“Wow, this place is a mess.” He observed, with files and paperwork scattered across every surface -including the floor.

  
“This is all of the paperwork for all 4118 victims of Brannigan Trust,” Marrisa replied, taking a gesturing twirl to the magnitude of their workload.

  
“4000? You've got to be kidding me. Estimate loss?” Bull had seriously underestimated the scale of the scandal. It would appear he entrapped himself in bad fortune by even stating the possibility of a class action lawsuit.

  
“Brannagin Trust conned these people out of nearly 3 million dollars. Some clients even losing up to 60 thousand.”

  
“What an extortionate fi...gure...” Bull scoured the room, “Where's Benny?”

  
“He went home. I suppose he's still not feeling well.” Cable replied nonchalantly.

  
“Oh. Didn't he know that we have an early meeting?” Bull had begun to expect this level of tardiness from Benny. It was rare nowadays that he showed up before 9 AM, even on important cases. It seemed this was no different.

  
“He's probably on his way.” Cable shot in.

  
“I'll give him a call.” Bull needed Benny to be here for the meeting, an estimate of his whereabouts was not good enough. So he took out his phone and proceeded to ring his junior's mobile. It rang and rang before going through to voicemail, ‘You've reached the mobile of Benjamin Colón...’ Bull cut the line. “Mnn he's not answering.”

  
It was only 6 AM after all and Benny hadn't gotten home until 1 AM. At this time of the morning, he was still dead to the world, as Bull had expected. Today would make the 4th day without any food, the first week was over. He had only one week left to think about the procedure. This morning he woke with that very factor pounding through his mind.

  
He swung his legs around the side of the bed and sighed heavily, having only a week left made him incredibly nervous which had consequently given him quite vigorous heart palpitations. Again today he woke more fatigued than before he went to bed as if he hadn't slept at all. He took some small nibbles out of some bran crackers he kept by the bed to give himself some substance, knowing it would be hard to keep focused on a ghostly bare stomach.

  
Slowly, he got up from the bed and to the bathroom, looking himself in the mirror like he usually did. Still, he saw dark grey rings under his eyes, he pulled at them gently, his skin was very elastic. Being massively dehydrated from violent morning sickness will do that to a man. As pale as ever. He frustratingly opened his bathroom cabinet and retrieved his toothbrush and toothpaste. Aggressively, he brushed his teeth, so hard his gums bled.

  
Today tallied day 3, being constipated, he blamed it on his abstinence from food and coffee. It didn't make him feel any better as it only added to how bloated he already felt. He brushed and slicked his hair before getting dressed. He tied his tie in the living room using the mirror above the fireplace as a guide.

  
The statue of Mary sat focal on the mantlepiece, it was a sharp reminder that he hadn't even gone to church and that he'd missed his service on Sunday. For that, he felt incredibly guilty. With five minutes left before he needed to leave, he decided to recite a prayer.

  
Reciting the holy trinity on his chest, then bowing his head in front of the porcelain idol, he began.

  
“I'm sorry Mother Mary for missing mass this Sunday. I'm also sorry for not preying lately. As I'm sure you know, this condition is taking its toll on me and I've felt I have little to be thankful for. I understand that God may have a plan for me and that this baby could possibly be interpreted as a miracle, who am I to question God's plan? I can't help but feel betrayed, almost as like God doesn't know the harm that's coming from this. I'm sure that there are plenty out there more deserving of this baby than me, so why me? What makes me special enough for this blessing? A blessing in disguise as a nightmare...Amen.”

  
He finished again with a holy trinity and somewhat felt better. He now wait in hopes that, like before, God would come to his aid and grace him with another sign. Since his upcoming life choices were too damning to make on his own.

  
TAC hadn't waited for Benny to arrive before holding the meeting, it was too important to postpone and waste time. Bull figured he'd fill Benny in when he arrived. It was lucky that he already knew about Benny being pregnant so he was able to cut him some slack, otherwise, he'd probably be furious.

  
Benny's taxi turned up at the curb outside of the TAC building, he paid the driver and made an extraordinary effort to exit the car. Even opening the door and hoisting himself from the seat was proving to be quite the task this morning. Nevertheless, he straightened his tie and marched proudly into the office.

  
And who should he meet in the elevator to his office, the very person he did not want to see. Still bitter and in a foul mood, the possibility of choking his boss to death in this lift was a very real possibility.

  
“Missed you at this morning's meeting.” Bull gave Benny the 3rd degree, as a boss he was stuck between a rock and a hard place, he didn't want to intimidate Benny or implement discipline irrespective of troubled times.

  
“I wasn't aware there was a meeting.” Benny had known, yet his lack of control over his own body meant that he was trapped in a sleep coma, so far gone he took no notice of the several alarms he placed on both his phone and the bedside radio.

  
“I'm sure.” Bull directly avoided Benny’s insulted expression, looking at the door with his hands in his pocket, rocking on his heels.

  
“What? If you have something to say, say it.” Benny burst out.

  
“You need to pull it together Benny. I mean this in the nicest way possible, but we need you. Not showing up to meetings this often would be a problem for anybody else.”

  
“Huh...” Benny scoffed. He found it quite outrageous that Bull would even bring up his lateness, much less tell him to get over it, like he knew anything about his daily battles. The ‘nicest possible’ thing to do would be to keep his mouth shut. Or so Benny thought, dare he open his mouth. “So what are you saying?”

  
“I know you have less than a week left, I get that you're tired, but you need to pull yourself together.”

  
“Alright. Sure.” He need not argue, there was no arguing with Bull. As his boss, Benny knew there had to be boundaries over professional masters as opposed to personal subjects.

  
“Thank you.” Of course, he felt like an ass, but sometimes being in a position of power came with unwanted responsibilities. The two went their separate ways, speaking no more of the matter.

  
“Morning all.” Benny threw his briefcase onto the table in the bullpen and began taking the case files out from last night. He hadn't worked on them for too long after he had gotten home as he was far too tired, but at least he did something.

  
“Benny, how you feeling?” Cable asked sympathetically. Benny raised a brow, highly suspicious of Cable’s sudden humanity.

  
“I'm fine. Everything's chipper.” He replied sarcastically.

  
“Has Dr. Bull filled you in on today's schedule?” Marrisa also seemed peeved, Benny having missed the meeting was a huge inconvenience, having lost two hours of valuable time and even more trying to relay important information. Yet, she couldn't place guilt, she knew Benny was going through something, even if he wasn't prepared to tell.

  
“No...he hasn't.” He put flatly.

  
“Oh brother. Don't tell me you and he aren't talking again?” Danny folded her arms and closed off her posture, disappointed with two of the most important men in her life.

  
“What? What would make you say that?” He overtly denied.

  
“His face, your face...that whole thick cloud of tension that wafted into the office when the elevator doors opened.” Cable illustrated, it seems Danny wasn't the only one to have caught that awkward display.

  
“It's nothing.” Benny insisted.

  
“Has it got something to do with what happened on the plane.” Danny interrogated.

  
“No...” Benny sighed, “Can we just forget about what happened?” In the office a sum of 5 minutes and already he was beginning to get a migraine.

  
“Sure...” Danny backed off.

  
“Well, moving on...” Marrisa swiftly broke the tension in the room, “So far we've made contact with about 3,000 of the 4,000, about 70% say that they are willing to travel to our office for a hearing tomorrow.” A flash of faces appeared on her computer monitors.

  
“And Erin?” He hadn't been able to forget Erin's name or get her face out his mind, almost like her silhouette was etched into the back of his eyes. He hadn't felt like this for quite some time and didn't exactly know what to make of it.

  
“She's on her way. We're going to walk her through the plan and the data we've managed to gather, rather, Bull wants you to talk to her.” Benny tried to control himself from smiling like a teenage girl.

  
“I can do that.” He said confidently and as emotionally mature as he could. Even still, he fell victim to a crowd of sly grins and raised brows. “What?” He noted.

  
“Tomorrow we'll begin with statements and mock court if you're ready? We don't have all that much time.” Marrisa winced nervously. This case had her permanently stressed out of her mind, with budgets and time against them, the pressure was on.

  
“How much time have we got?” In no way was he prepared, the sheer workload would take at least a week to process. Let alone start thinking about preparing arguments.

  
“Jury selection begins on Wednesday,” Marrisa spoke hesitantly, discomfort written into her face.

  
“The day after tomorrow? Jeez.” Benny almost choked on his own saliva. Understandably, he was filled with an immediate sense of urgency.

  
“We've got a lot of writing on this. Figures are almost double my previous estimate. If we lose this case, it could spell trouble.” Marrisa hadn't meant to create anxiety, but the truth had to be known. Perhaps it would incentivize the team to double their efforts, in the cruelest but good intentioned way.

  
“No pressure.” Cable laughed sarcastically.

  
“I'll get right on it then. If you just email me the files, I'll be in my office.” Benny clapped his hands together, the game was afoot! His raging nausea was pushed aside and hard work prioritized. Pregnancy was not going to get in his way; if he could help it.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Cable knows and Benny might be falling head-over-heels for Erin. Mmm, interesting :)


	5. Chapter 5

Benny used his time wisely, in the hour he had before Erin arrived he crammed; crammed harder than he did for his Bar exam. He familiarised himself with the research the team had collected the night before and reviewed his case notes. All of that in between daydreaming of Erin. To be frank it was a miracle he managed to cover so much, to think of the word he'd get some if his mind was in the right place.

It was then that he heard the gentle taps against his glass door. In a manic panic, he tried to neaten out his desk a little to make a good impression. Erin knocked a little harder this time encase nobody had heard her previous attempt.

“Com-come in.” Benny stuttered nervously, “take a seat.” It wasn't until Benny stood to offer her a seat did he notice the chair full of files, “sorry about that.” He scurried to clear the chair.

“Working hard I see?” Erin took a gander about the room before sitting down, “I'm glad I got to see you again.” She smiled shyly.

“It's nice to see you too.” Benny became incredibly bashful.

“Are you feeling okay?” Erin asked upon observing Benny wince as he sat back down. He'd been feeling moderately fine all morning, right up until Erin walked through the door, almost like kryptonite before Clark Kent.

“Just cramps, it'll go away.” Perhaps 50 paracetamol and a long walk later.

“Oh here!” Her hands flew to her handbag, digging and rummaging through all of her clutter to pull out a bottle of aspirin. “A girl never leaves the house without them.” As written in the Girl's Code, never does a woman leave without pain relief.

“Thanks.” Benny took two, dry, trying not to gag as they went down.

“You're very welcome.” A heavy silence befell them both. Sparks of attraction zipping around the room. Benny thought it too bold for anybody to be attracted to him, not a look or a sniff from anybody in the last three years. Still, he was beginning to feel that the notion was mutual. Did Erin have a _thing_ for him? Did he really have a _thing_ for Erin - as his co-workers have implied? Or was he getting his signals crossed because of his hormonal imbalance?

He coughed, breaking through the romantic aroma, “Now, the case?”

“Yes, the case.”

“We've found a whole stadium 's worth of people who've lost their money in Brannagin Trust.” Erin gasped at the shire number, yet at the same time, she wondered how any company could be so deceitful and heartless to such a shire number of people. A bank of all organizations, which many people rely on daily, could defraud even the most vulnerable of consumers, was sickening to think about.

“That just proves it, I'm not lying,” Erin replied enthusiastically. Benny’s words filled her with an unsolicited overwhelming feeling of hope, which only made Benny more wary about letting her down.

“Not quite. All that proves is that you and 4000 others have made bad investments - or so that's the way the big shots at the bank are going to spin it.” Despite his growing need to please Erin, an air of professionalism told him that she was ‘ _just another client_ ’ so it would be foolish to get too cocky. Afterall, this case was possibly one to create precedent.

“Then what are we going to do?” As a school teacher, this was completely new territory. She had a vague idea as to how the legal system worked having been called for jury duty on one occasion, but it was different to watching from afar. When her entire savings and the reputation of TAC rested on this one case, the pressure for a solution was immense.

“We have to ensure the jury that there was intent to defraud,” Benny stated in basic terms, although in reality achieving such a task would be far from straightforward. Never in the history of class actions, has there ever been a clean trial.

“Can you do that?” That was the million dollar question, one of which Benny did not know the answer. Had he been at the top of his game, he would have already come up with several leading ideas.

“We can try, after all, that's what mock court is for. We create arguments and present them to the jury and see which questions and leading arguments will give us a not-guilty verdict.” As long as Benny could indeed convince a jury that there was intent to defraud then he had various case law that would support his arguments. Although, trying to prove fraud was difficult in regular circumstances, trying to prove that a bank committed fraud would be close to grueling.

“That's amazing.” Without mock court, they wouldn’t be able to do what they are famous for, and that is, defending the innocent and achieving justice. Benny couldn’t help but smile modestly, knowing that he was an integral part of the team, “I'm hungry, want to go and get a bite to eat?”

“I would, but I-” Whilst not eating was limiting his morning sickness to the occasional overthrow of bile, he didn’t want to purposefully put himself through the gutwrenching pain. Yet, he didn’t want to give Erin the wrong impression, that he wasn’t into her or that he was always ‘too busy’. In all honesty, the intention of going out to eat gave him butterflies.

“I don't know my way around this part of New York.” Erin persisted, knowing that Benny couldn’t possibly allow her to walk the city by herself.

“Alright, I'll come.” It hadn’t taken much before he gave in to Erin’s charm, not that she had to put up a fight for his affection.

“Can you recommend where around here does the best coffee?” This was New York, coffee shops sat along every road and every pathway. Yet, he knew just where to go.

“I know just the place.” He said, grabbing his coat and scarf from the back of his door. Whilst it was hitting September, the temperatures had drastically dropped, the weather channels were even talking about early snow in October.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Not having realized until he walked through the door, the last time he sat at those tables. He had met Chunk in a frantic mess, calling him at work for some lunch with the intention of spilling his guts. It had been straight after his followup appointment with Dr. Huston when it was confirmed, his life would change forever. He still had no clue as to why his first port of call had been Chunk, but he was filled with nostalgia; remembering almost crying giving Chunk the picture of the sonogram. As if by instinct his hand flew to his coat pocket and clenched at his wallet firmly.

Benny slowly caught up with Erin, who was already racing ahead to order, “I'll have a large latte and a slice of your banana bread - your biggest slice.” She pointed out the piece she wanted through the glass showcase.

“And for you, Sir?” The Barista asked politely.

“Nothing- nothing. I'm not hungry.” Benny reinstated firmly, yet a loud growl from the pits of his stomach gave him away as being anything but well-fed.

“That did not sound like a full stomach to me.” Erin laughed coyly.

“Honestly, I'm-” Benny was cut off;

“My treat. Make that two lattes and some apple pie.” Erin ordered, handing over a twenty dollar bill. She waited to receive her change and stood aside whilst the coffees were being made.

“Make mine a decaf. You really didn't have to.” Benny now felt pressured to eat what Erin had brought him, knowing it came from good kindness, he didn’t want to be seen as ungrateful. The smell of the freshly baked apple and cinnamon was extremely appetizing, that was for sure, something he could never ordinarily pass up.

“You and Dr. Bull are taking on my case for free, this is the least I can do.” It seemed like an unrepayable debt, despite being told the team wanted nothing from her, she still felt like a burden.

“Well, thank you.” Benny grabbed both coffee cups, his hands warming instantly against the cardboard. While Benny was indeed thankful for the coffee, he didn’t think it at all possible to become accustomed to decaf. Being a coffee aficionado, the distinct difference in taste between regular and decaf made drinking coffee far less pleasurable.

“You're very welcome.” The two took a seat at the window, “So, what's on the agenda today?” Erin took the lid off of her coffee and began adding sugar cubes by the dozen. Benny raised a brow but grinned, believing that Erin’s taste in coffee was the same as her personality; sweet.

“Today? We're going to reach out to more witnesses and hopefully, start to meet some people.” With many of those conned living in the New York area, some have promised to come down to TAC this afternoon for a briefing. This was the perfect opportunity to begin scouring for witnesses.

“So soon?” Worried about whether they would be ready, whether they had done enough research and prep and most of all, worried about the case’s result. Just the same, she wanted to see as much of Benny as she could before they no longer had a reason to be by each other’s side.

“Witness prep needs to begin as soon as possible, the vior dire starts Wednesday.” Erin had similar reactions as the rest of the team when they heard the news this morning.

“That only gives you today and tomorrow.” She replied frantically.

“Precisely.” Benny slowly nodded his head, “Fisher wants this in and out of court within a week.” Not that it gave them much time, which is exactly his gameplan.

“Will you be able to do it?” Benny would love to state brave and bold, that he had this down, that this would be like any other case, but that wouldn’t be truthful. Even he had doubts as to whether they had enough resources or even evidence to persuade the jury to form a majority vote.

 

“I'll admit, we are outnumbered. There's probably hundreds working to defend Brannigan Trust.” With top lawyers at their dense, it would be beneficial if he wasn’t the only in-house counsel, not that the team wasn’t pulling out all the stops.

“I have faith in you.” Comforting and supportive words much needed all around. The felt even more delightful coming from those lips, Benny deemed. “You've barely touched the pie, is something wrong?”

“I've not been well the last couple of weeks.” Something of an understatement.

“Have you been to see a doctor?” She enquired, filled with empathy.

“Yeah, he said it'll go away on its own.” Not only was he lying to his friends, he was potentially starting a relationship with a woman based on lies. Despite the guilt that steadily accumulated, he wasn’t ready to tell anybody about what he was going through, not even Erin, who appeared open-minded and understanding.

“You should be taking better care of yourself. Your body needs food, especially when you're ill.” She spoke with a motherly tone, it must derive from her nurturing nature. None the less, the advice wasn’t very appreciated, he was frankly tired of hearing it.

“Maybe if I could keep anything down…” He mumbled to himself.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” Erin asked quite abruptly.

He spluttered, coughing, having almost choked on the crust of his apple pie. He washed it down with a large swig of coffee. Erin couldn’t contain her laughter, she hadn’t been able to elicit such a reaction from a man since her first year of college. “No...why do you ask?” He couldn’t help but be amused by his own actions.

“Why don't you come to my house for dinner? I'll cook you a nice and healthy meal.” Was this an invitation for a date? Was he being asked out? Benny had to stop himself from getting too excited. At this moment in time, Erin was a client and fraternizing with clients was unethical. He would have to kindly decline.

“I'd love to, but Bull will have us working until all hours tonight and no doubt into tomorrow.” A half-assed effort, but putting off dinner was better than a rejection. At least this time he wasn’t lying.

“After the case is settled?”

“I'll look forward to it.” That he was. It was just about the only thing he was looking forward to this coming week, Erin served as a much-needed distraction, not that he cared to think of it that way.

“Great! I'm a pretty amazing chef, I'll have you know.” Erin smiled boastfully.

“I don't doubt you.” Before he could continue, his phone chimed, notifying him of an incoming message, “Oh that's Bull, he needs us back.” He sighed heavily. He would rather sit in the coffee shop all day than go back to the office and write plans and trial scrips. Yet, the threat of work was not going to suddenly disappear should he choose to ignore it,

“At least you finished your pie.” Erin downed the last of her coffee, although cold, still quite tasty.

“I didn't even notice.” Sure enough, not even a crumb sat left on his plate. His stomach was no longer growling but at what cost? He asked himself with dread.

 

 

“It's just that easy!” The two came through the office doors of TAC with gleaming smiles across their faces, Erin had been giving Benny her basic cooking tips since he'd admitted it himself, that he was a terrible chef.

“I've tried, never been able to get it right.” That was no surprise, seeing as he rarely ever cooked or baked anything. He didn't even own a single cookbook or even the most standard of equipment. Still, it wasn't really the tips he was fascinated by. More so Erin and her ability to make anything sound engaging - perfect witness material. He considered.

“Where'd you two run off to?” Bull turned sharply at the sound of their voices, what he caught sight of made him squint with annoyance.

“We went and got some lunch,” Erin replied cheerfully.

“At that nice cafe?” He asked bitterly, with a gleam of jealousy in his eyes. Despite this cafe being located only around the corner from the office building, it had been Benny who stumbled across the place a little over a year ago. He swore that their coffee was the best he’d ever had. So far he’d invited many people, of all people, Bull didn’t expect to be the bottom of the list. Out of principle, he held off from going, but really, all he was doing was shooting himself in the foot.

“Yeah...” Benny couldn't understand why Bull was being so snippy. It was only lunch, after all, he'd missed breakfast again and it felt nice to get back to some normality.

“I’m going to go and introduce myself to some of the others.” Erin could sense something between the two and decided it'd be best if she ducked away so they could talk. At least now she had the opportunity to speak to the others, victim to a cruel capitalist system.

“Good idea.” Bull pretty much shooed her away, “So you do have a type?” He grinned as Erin left the range of hearing.

“Excuse me?” Benny chuckled nervously, wanting to obviously deny the fact that he wasn’t so predictable – which had been somewhat of a major issue between them recently. Besides, he knew it was inappropriate and couldn’t be bothered to listen to a lecture, especially from Bull; King of untimely relationships.

“You and Erin?” He reiterated, smiling smugly as Benny fumbled.

“What makes you say that?” Bull squinted as he examined Benny, “Alright, nevermind.” He withdrew his question before Bull’s psychobabble dribbled out from his mouth.

“It’s not a good idea you know, she’s a client and you’re…well…” Bull trailed off, not wanting to speak too loudly in a room full of strangers, after all, it wasn’t his place to reveal something so huge to anybody.

“Pregnant?” Benny snapped, he turned on his heels and glared up at Bull.

“Not that it means anything, of course.” Bull was notorious for putting his foot in his mouth, it was almost like his mouth had no floodgate. He just knew exactly how to push boundaries, and did so without even thinking first.

“Of course not, because I can date whoever I want. Since we’re not together, it shouldn’t matter who I want to see.” Bull was taken back at Benny’s sudden outburst, it seemed obvious that there were things on his mind that he hadn’t wanted to speak about before now. Benny seemed fine with their arrangement, well at least he thought he was.

“What do you mean by that?” Benny had never mentioned the two of them actually being involved in a relationship before. After their conversation during the morning in question, he had somewhat assumed that everything would be okay, that they would remain as just friends. Now that he actually thought about it, he never stopped to see how Benny truly felt about that deal.

“I’m not keeping it, so there’s nothing tying us to each other. If I want to date Erin then I will.” Brazen and hurtful, Benny’s words were meant to permanently leave a mark.

“Stop saying that!” Caught up in his own words, he had once told Chunk to cut Benny some slack but quite frankly, he had, had enough. He hadn’t meant to shout but it seemed impossible to do anything but. Heads turned all across the lobby but Bull seemed too fuming to care.

Bull grabbed Benny by the arm, he dragged him with a tight grip outside of the building as to not create so much of a scene, Benny fussed as he went, “Let go!” Benny yanked his appendage away and shoved Bull’s hand in the other direction. “It’s my body, not yours.”

“You’re forgetting that what’s in there is half of me.” Bull pointed towards Benny’s stomach angrily.

“Wow.” Benny scoffed. He pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled loudly, fury rising within. Any moment he knew he’d turn into Pitbull Benny, an uncontrollable 5’5” ball of rage.

“What?” Bull coaxed, “Am I wrong?” He tried, at a much lower and compassionate tone.

“So that’s it then huh?” Benny shook his head, he blamed himself for being so nieve, having completely believed that he had full control over his own future. Although he could argue, he never had. Izzy and Bull, fighting over the say in what was best for him, never left him with much of a chance to make his own choices.

“What did you expect? Did you really think I’d let you just get rid of the…” He whispered, “the baby?”

“You’re an asshole! Last week you told me that I got to have the final decision.” He’d relied heavily on Bull’s testament more than a week ago, it’d given him peace of mind that Bull would stand by him no matter what he wanted in the end. Now he felt betrayed and trapped, with no escape.

“If memory serves me right, I also told you I wasn’t sure of what I wanted. That we both had two weeks to come to an agreement, of which is now almost over. You still don’t know what you want to do.” Bull felt as if he had been too lenient, rather than pushing Benny to make a decision, they were now in a difficult predicament where neither of them really knew what they wanted to do; do they end the pregnancy or give things a go? They now had 5 days to decide.

“When this case is over, I’m giving Dr. Huston a call. The sooner we can be done with this the better.” Benny subtly released his frustration and sadness. “Maybe while I’m at it, I’ll hand in my notice.” Benny gulped, trust his emotions to be running high at a moment like this, only to be heightened by pregnancy hormones. Whilst he desperately wanted to cry, it would ruin his facade – he was strong. This wasn’t him purely speaking from resentment, he meant every word.

“Fine, do whatever you want.” Bull watched as Benny turned his back, a symbolic metaphor. He hadn’t expected things to stampede out of control and he certainly didn’t imagine Benny reacting in such a way.

He hated himself nonetheless, for not going after Benny and apologizing. He knew he was filth, lower than filth. Benny was his only true friend, somebody he could wholly depend on and trust. The only person he truly loved more than himself. He had hurt that person and neglected their needs, thinking only of himself and his own jealousy. Bull simply stood, rather motionless at the door, feeling the cold breeze wash against his skin, totally in awe. He was an idiot.


	6. Chapter 6

  
Bull removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose with bitter frustration. The emotional toll today had taken was immense and right now he could only picture resting his head on the desk and falling asleep. Doing not only his work but Benny's gave him unpleasant nostalgic memories of law school. What made matters worse was that he was confined to his office, crushed with the load of work he had to do, he was unable to get a hold of Benny through his mobile and as things go, leaving was not an option. He rang and rang, sometimes getting through to voicemail but more often than not Benny had declined the call even before it rang out. Bull was wracked with guilt, knowing that he needed to apologise, and it had to be in person.

  
“He's not taking my calls.” Came a voice from the doorway. Bull looked up and saw Chunk hovering over his desk, “what did you do?”

  
“Nothing good,” Bull admitted, he stood and walked over to his liquor cabinet. He pulled out the emergency supply of scotch. In his hands, the bottle gave him an overwhelming sense of nostalgia, remembering that the last time he poured himself a drink it had been the night Benny sat opposite and handed him the sonogram.

  
“Figured as much.” Chunk allowed himself further into the office, towering authoritatively over Bull at his desk. He pictured himself a broken record, always mediating the tiffs the two had and mostly defending Benny’s position.

  
“If you haven't noticed, I'm busy Chunk.” Bull wasn’t entirely in the mood for one of Chunk’s lectures, all he really wanted to do was complete his work and maybe get a little drunk in the process, to help forget about the events of the day.

  
“We all are. Which is why we need Benny back.” He snapped. Without Benny, the team had to delegate the extra work. All of which was particularly taxing as none of them really understood how to conduct legal research. It was vital that their in-house council return otherwise the team were at a significant disadvantage, such a disadvantage would be detrimental to their success rate.

  
“He doesn't want to come back. I can't make him.” Benny had made that explicitly clear. He wanted out – for good. Bull had left at least a dozen voicemails on his mobile and landline but heard nothing in response.

  
“Whatever you did, you need to apologise-” He was cut off. Chunk was used to calming the seas, assuring Benny that Bull was ‘overworked’, ‘stressed’ or ‘out of his right mind’ whenever the two fell out. This time though, Chunk couldn’t even get a hold of Benny. Frankly, he was worried, if Benny wasn’t picking up his calls, then he must be in a bad place.

  
“-It's not that easy...” Bull took a large swig from the glass and removed his glasses.

“Anyway, I can’t just leave now.” Completely swamped and overwhelmed by what he had yet to tackle, it had been a long while since the last time he worked so hard, delegating was his speciality. Now, he was not only fretting but frustrated and utterly bewildered; so out of practice.

  
“I think you've got your priorities messed up, Benny is more important than some case.” Chunk said thoughtlessly, raising his voice.

  
“The future of the company depends on us winning this case.” The resources and funds that Bull had pulled into this case were far too extortionate to be so easily dismissed. “Don't you think I feel bad enough as it is?” He questioned, fearing Chunk thought he was some heartless brute, when in fact if it was up to him, he’d scream across the whole office merrily that Benny is carrying his child. Yet, Benny was playing around with life and death, not taking anything seriously

  
“No. You don't. If I were you, I'd be at his house groveling. Are you even listening to yourself?” He exclaimed, in utter disbelief. “You have no idea how he must be feeling, making such a big decision. Stop using this case as an excuse.” Bull reclined in his chair, inhaling deeply. Chunk was right, he was always right. Bull knew he’d behaved irrationally the moment Benny began to walk away, tears in his eyes. At that moment he should have sucked up his pride and ran after him, why he was still sitting behind his desk was beyond comprehension.

  
“I’ll be back.” Bull grabbed his coat from the stand and fled the office.

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
Benny lay on the sofa, watching the t.v., wrapped in a blanket. He'd been that way all afternoon. There wasn't much on other than CSI, but he wasn't entirely invested in watching anything anyway. He had all intentions of falling asleep but was kept awake by his overanxious mind, replaying the argument from earlier on. Part-way through his journey home he came to the sudden realisation that he'd been incredibly foolish, yet he'd already ignored several phone calls and still found himself too bitter to admit it.

  
He knew that Bull was concerned and overcome with apprehension and grief given his past. He hadn't appreciated that fact and upon reflection, he knew Bull was making complete sense. For the last week and a half, he'd tried to forget about the situation despite knowing of the fast-approaching deadline. By now he should have figured things out and worked harder to refrain from shutting Bull out.

  
The truth is, he was no closer to an answer today than before.

  
On one hand, he could understand how his silence was torturous yet on the other he wasn't sure whether Bull fully appreciated how difficult the decision was to make.   
He was interrupted mid-thought by a gentle knock on the door, he sighed heavily and dragged himself to his feet. He knew it had to be Chunk or another member of the team, who had come out of concern to see if he was okay. The company would be greatly appreciated. He unlatched the chain and opened the door. Before he could even see who was behind it, a bouquet of flowers was forcibly shoved into his face.

  
“I'm not sure if you'd like them.” An innocent voice announced.

  
“Bull...” Benny took a step back, slightly shocked that Bull of all people would grace his doorway and with flowers no less. “What do you want?” He asked, sourly.

  
“I came to apologise, and I bring a peace offering.” He lifted a carrier bag of goodies, opening the bag by both handles. Benny dipped his hand into the bag and pulled out a jar of pickles, he a brow raised inquisitively. “The guy at the convenience store recommend that I buy them. Apparently, they're a popular apology gift for pregnant women.” Benny chuckled, Bull was hopeless as usual. “I'm sorry, not just for being inconsiderate but for going back on my word.”

  
Benny allowed Bull into his apartment, “I've been giving you a hard time about all this when it's me who should probably apologise.” Bull had been pleasantly surprised to hear those words come from Benny’s lips, although he couldn’t let him get down on his knees for everything that was going wrong between them, even if it felt easy to do so.

  
“I was angry, there's nothing that you need to apologise for.” Bull placed the flowers on the coffee table, looking at the mess of blankets and large indent in the sofa sympathetically.

  
“No, no there is. I shouldn't make this decision alone, it's not fair to you. I've cut you off and gotten offensive when you've tried to talk to me...that isn't right.” He replied honestly, “especially given the past.” The room fell silent.

  
“Whether you want to talk to me or not, it's still your decision.” Bull took a seat, brushing away small crumbs from the sofa cushions before he planted himself. Benny rubbed the back of his neck, a little embarrassed about the state of his place, he shouldn’t have let things get so bad over the last couple of days.

  
“What do you want me to do?” Benny asked, level-headed and open minded.

  
“You know what I want.” He already knew what Bull had in mind, from the very beginning Bull’s stance on the matter hadn’t changed. “It's your body, so I can't tell you what to do.”

  
“See, I have this thing living inside of me and I still can't decide. I just keep avoiding the situation, pretending that the morning sickness isn't real, that I'm tired because I work so much...” the last few weeks have felt like an out-of-body experience, that waking up day-by-day he’d been slotted into somebody else’s life. Whilst it had been his own head flung over the toilet bowl five times a day, his own abdomen cramping up, his own emotions playing tricks; he went through the motions and questioned nothing.

  
Bull wasted no time in scooping Benny in for a hug, noticing the younger man’s eyes turn glassy, “That doesn't make you a bad person.”

  
“I'm scared,” Benny admitted. Bull stroked the back of Benny’s head softly as Benny began to sniff and shudder. He cursed his heightened emotions, although he did acknowledge – it would take somebody inhuman to shut out all of the raw reactions and remain unphased in such complicated and delicate situation.

  
“Me too,” Bull whispered softly, kissing Benny on the side of the head compassionately. “I know that you don't really forgive me, but we can work past this.”

  
“I was being overdramatic, I don't want to leave TAC.” He smiled, particularly embarrassed.

  
“Then come back. Danny, Cable, Marissa...they all need you. Our clients need you.” Whilst the moment was touching and the two were exploring new grounds, there was a leering problem hanging over Bull’s head.

  
“Alright...I'll come back.” Bull gave Benny his pocket handkerchief, which Benny took to wipe his eyes over and dry his cheeks.

  
Bull looked Benny in the eyes, grasping a shoulder with an open palm, “Thank you.”

  
Even though things had gone smoothly back at the apartment, the two spend the entirety of the taxi ride in silence. Bull chatted away with the driver and Benny stare blankly out of the window, things weren’t wholly back to normal just yet.

  
“Are you alright?” He and Benny strolled into the elevator, awkwardness still entrenching their behaviour. Still, Bull looked over at Benny and couldn't help but notice the tired eyes he wore and how sluggish Benny stood.

  
“I'm just tired.” He sighed. Whilst it was drawing close to half past 9 in the evening, Benny found no excuse for his fatigue, knowing that he hadn't done very much with his day. Regardless, the shire time of day and his condition made it impossible to maintain himself past 11. one of his primary grievances.

  
“You don't have to come back, I can take you home.” Bull offered affectionately.

  
“No, no...it's okay.” Being already in the elevator it seemed too much of a waste to return now. Besides, he really wanted to make an effort to apologise to Chunk for screaming at him down the phone earlier while he was a ‘little' frustrated.

  
“Oh! Doctor Bull, I've been looking all over for you.” A plucky young woman bounced into the elevator just as the doors began to shut. Her presence put Benny on-edge, his eyes fixated to get engorged stomach. Seeing everyday pregnant women made him seize up, distressed. Perhaps it was their form, picturing himself so big? Or maybe it reminded him oaffectionately choices he had to make.

  
“Amy, right?” The woman nodded, “Well, what can I do for you?”

  
“I'm going to have to withdraw from the mock trials. I'm sorry.” Bull wasn't all too concerned, he knew that all of the participants must be pretty exhausted...or so he thought until seeing Amy grabbing the small of her back and pinching her bridge, seemingly in quite a bit if pain.

  
“Is everything okay?” His voice frantic.

  
She took a deep breath as the pain began to subside and she was finally able to speak again. “I'm not sure. I've been feeling off and now I'm having these pains-”

  
“Amy, are you going into labour?” Bull cut her off, rather alarmed.

  
“Oh god! I don't think so, but I've never been in labour before! My water hasn't broken yet...” She replied with great uncertainty; now beginning to hyperventilate anxiously.

  
“Calm down, just breathe.” Bull tried to mediate the situation, pressing the ground floor button ferociously, knowing that they would still have to reach the office ground before doubling back, regardless of how quickly he pressed the button; it would have little impact on how quickly they returned. “Maybe we should take you to the hospital?” He continued, much more collected.

  
“I'm fi-” She stopped, caught by another crippling pain. “If you could.” Quickly changing her mind, knowing that the pains were only exceeding the others by degrees of pain.   
“I'll call a taxi to meet us when we get downstairs.” Bull pulled out his mobile and elected to call his favourite company, under speed dial 4.

  
Sharp and sudden, the elevator ground to a halt with an almighty screech. The jolting action pushed Benny into the railing behind, possibly bruising his lumbar region. “What was that?” He groaned, steadying himself. It automatically became obvious that they were no longer moving, “I think the elevator’s stuck.”

  
“Why is nobody answering?” Amy pounded against the emergency alarm button, growing impatient at the lack of response.

  
“Everybody went home, it's late.” Bull sighed, he hadn't really considered the real possibility of a breakdown before sending everybody on their way. Since the operation usually ran smoothly, it was something he never considered to be a risk. Although, he couldn't possibly make the handyman stay any longer.

  
“We're stuck...” Amy muttered, in complete disbelief.

  
“Benny, we're going to pull the doors apart.” Bull gave Benny a concerned look, begging with his eyes for the other to ensure him that he was okay after being hurt. Benny nodded firmly before rushing to Bull's aid. The two griped the tight gap between the doors. Using their brute strength, the two pulled each side apart to prove exactly what they had feared. The elevator was stuck, with only a foot gap overhead where they could see the floor above. “I'll call Marissa.”

  
“Erm, guys...” Amy paused, wide-eyed. “I think my water just broke.” The front of her denim jeans turned a dark blue as they saturated. The patch spread, trickling down to her feet and onto the elevator floor, her trousers absorbing most of the moisture. “Either that or I just peed myself.” She chuckled nervously.

  
“I'll call the emergency services. Marissa is on her way down.”

  
“Not how you pictured this going down, huh?” Benny smiled, trying his best to console Amy. In all honesty, he felt the arch of his back start to sweat and his hands become clammy as his own anxiety began to escalate.

  
“I had a dream like this once, but instead of two strangers helping deliver the baby it was my mum...to be fair I think I prefer this scenario.” Benny could fully understand that motion, if the situations were reversed his mother or even his sister would be fretting away trying to tell him what to do and how to take care of himself.

  
Benny helped Amy to the ground, giving her his coat to sit on, “what about a partner? Does he know that you're here?”

  
“There isn't a partner. He was in-and-out of my life very quickly,” awkwardness befell them both, “but this was something I wanted.” She replied whilst lovingly stroking her stomach.

  
“That's very brave.” Benny said in admiration.

  
“Nah, millions of women do this every day.” That figure made Benny a touch embarrassed, being that he couldn’t possibly live up to his own words like many others have. Why he couldn’t just bring himself to be brave, to explore the endless wonders that would come with seeing this through, was beyond his own comprehension.

  
“That doesn't change how awesome it is.” His words bold enough to bring a grin upon Amy’s face.

  
“I was close to not even seeing it through, you know. Being all alone was kinda scary, but I'm glad I did. Before I even knew what was happening, I'd fallen in love” Benny scoffed, nodding his head and biting his lip, not having heard his own situation out loud he could now visualise exactly how he felt, “I know, I haven't even met him yet.” Amy continued, bashfully.

  
Benny and Bull could hear Marissa coming, the unforgettable sound of her high-heels darting across the cold floor brought an element of reassurance to those that knew her, closely following behind were the familiar squeak of converse sneakers and heavy wedged boots. The trio gave it their best efforts to pull the doors apart with Cable's small stature being quite deceptive.

  
“Dr Bull? Is everything okay down there?” Cable peeped through the small gap between the floor and the elevator below.

  
“We're all fine, I just need you to meet the emergency team at the door. Tell them where we are and help them find the control panel for the elevator.”

  
“Okay, got it.” Just as quickly as they arrived, the three hurried along knowing that the emergency services were well on their way.

  
“Hopefully we're out of the elevator soon.” Bull had unfathomable trust and good spirit that the emergency services would safely rescue the three of them before it's too late. At least, he had to appear unshaken. He couldn't rely on Benny to be the rock in this situation.

  
“What if we're not? Either of you two secretly a midwife?” Amy followed with nervous laughter.

  
“The woman makes a good point Bull. We can't deliver a baby.” The reality being that he'd be totally useless, breaking out into a panic or being afraid to make any medical mistakes. He'd always been the best person to have after a storm, his aid work in Puerto Rico was a testament to that.

  
“We might not have to.” He rubbed the back of his neck, already feeling stressed, knowing that the night was still young.

  
“Face the facts, Bull. We could be here for hours.” Benny proclaimed hysterically.

  
“Calm down. You need to calm down.” At this point Bull had no idea what turn of events would occur, things may turn sour very quickly or brighten up just the same. Bull hated not knowing what the outcome would be, without a whim as to which way the pendulum swing finally lands. It would be fruitless to get worked up, only making the situation worse.

  
“I think I'm gonna pass out or something...” Benny began to hyperventilate, breathing rapidly.

  
“No, you're not.” Bull took Benny by the shoulders and glanced into his eyes, he tried to calm him down by reciting steady breathing techniques, “listen to me. You're going to remain calm for Amy's sake. Take a deep breath and focus.” Benny began to breath in unison, only the exercise wasn’t promoting tranquility, only making him lightheaded.

  
“Okay.” Benny replied shakily.

  
It took the emergency team a little less than 15 minutes to reach the office building, having maneuvered skillfully through the New York late-night traffic. In the meantime Bull had taken off his jacket and laid it on the floor so Amy could sit down, Benny had become strikingly brave and sat with her holding her hand. “When we got your call, we weren't sure if this was some prank, my name is Criss.” The EMT laughed, “Is everybody okay? How far apart are the contractions?”

  
“They're really close, like four minutes.” Benny had helped keep record for each time a contraction hit, timing them with his watch. Even within the short timeframe waiting for the paramedics the contractions seemed to become shorter and shorter, and the pain only become more intense. Whilst he tried to remain calm he couldn't help but get caught up in the high pressure situation. “Have your waters broken?” Amy nodded, that being all she could muster through the tight grip of another ruthless contraction. “Any burning or an urge to push yet?” this time she replied with a frivolous headshake. “That's good. Now, I'm going to feed you through some equipment. Don't put your arms or hands anywhere near the gap. I'll try my best to get the elevator working again, I'm going to come in and help you through this.”

  
Criss along with two other EMTS climbed the next flight of stairs. Two held the doors open while Criss attached the safety harness to the elevator cable. He strapped himself in, but a team-mate checked the gear before he took the leap. Criss scaled the side of the elevator shaft until he reached the emergency hatch at the top, he proceeded to rip the latch open. Only once safe inside did he detach the rope.

  
The EMTs continued to work effortlessly to get the elevator working again, to no avail. Half an hour had passed and they were no closer to fixing the issue. Marissa had even gotten the handy-man on the phone to talk the EMTs through how the control panel operated and where the failsafe switches were. It became apparent that nothing more could be done.   
That's when a blood curdling scream echoed through the elevator walls bringing more urgency to the situation, “I need to push now. I'm ready.”

  
“Looks like we'll be doing this here.” Criss snapped on a fresh pair of latex-free gloves, “bare with me, okay?” Criss manoeuvred his fingers into Amy’s cervix, testing with his fingers how dilated she'd become since he last checked. “Everything feels good, when you're ready push on the-” The EMT was cut off by an alarming drop. The elevator plummeted several inches very rapidly. “The elevator must have jolted...” Criss now faced a growing and contagious fear, the elevator no longer seemed safe, and they had no other option but continue. “Amy, you just have to push, okay? We'll be out soon enough.”

  
‘Soon enough’ couldn't come any quicker. Having been stuck in the elevator for close to two hours already, all focus and anxieties any of those trapped held, dissipated. All attention went into helping Amy to deliver the baby. She'd been pushing for an half an hour now and the strain was getting to her, “I can't do this anymore, it hurts.” She huffed as a contraction subsided.

  
“I don't think you have much of a choice.” Criss replied lightheartedly. “The baby is coming when it wants to. There's nothing you or I can do.”

  
“I'm exhausted.” Benny wiped the sweat from Amy's brows and cheeks. Amy hissed as another contraction broke through, giving her no more than thirty seconds to catch her breath and bare down once more.

  
“I can see the head, you're doing so well. You need to carry on.” The words of encouragement like life blood, running through her veins, giving her faux-adrenaline to carry on.

  
“Okay...” She coughed, saliva in her mouth running extremely thick.

  
“That's it, you're doing great.” The screams seemingly all blended together as Benny was washed by the sense of dejavu. This sight, he'd been here before; in his dream not a week prior. Except it wasn't Amy in such dire distress, but himself. It was impossible not to draw distinctions between real life and his beautiful nightmare.

  
“Benny? You okay?” Bull snapped.

  
Benny startled out of his delusion, “Yeah, I mean..yeah.” He stuttered, puling himself together, tying to remain focused.

  
Time passed excruciatingly from then on. It would appear that the baby was only interested in playing games, from inappropriately timed peek-a-boo to frustrating hide-and-seek. Criss helped all he could with the training he had, assisting the baby enter the world in the best way he could. Bull and Benny could only offer emotional support and encouragement but Amy was grateful either way. She pushed and pushed, with the baby retreating once or twice. The final try was never the end but this last attempt felt like this was it.

  
“You can do it! One last push!” Criss held the majority of the baby's body in his hands, the rest slipped into being as Amy cried out for the final time, “It's a boy!” A boy, born quiet but very much alive. Criss laid the baby upon it's mother's chest delicately.

  
“My baby...” She whispered, sobbing with pure blissful happiness.

  
“Congratulations.” Benny’s usual tough exterior had crumbled at the sight, and without realising, he too was caught flushed with waterworks. Hormones, he promised himself.

  
“What's his name?” Criss asked, grabbing a clip from his duffel bag to peg the placenta.   
“Isaac. His name is Isaac.”

  
“He's beautiful.” Bull remarked, as the baby opened his eyes. Already the young one had smooth chocolate eyes and a sweet face - disregarding the fluids and mucus that covered his pink flesh.

  
The buttons on the elevator door blinked into action and the floor moved from under their feet,“Ah, finally!” an echo of sighs in relief followed the good news. The elevator reached the ground floor with ease and familiar faces came to greet them on the other side. “A sight to behold, great job. Bring in the wheelchair”, Criss finally cut the cord and wrapped the newborn in a blanket. “You boys mind?” Benny took the baby in his arms while Bull and Criss lowered Amy into the wheelchair. “We're going to take you back to the hospital.”

  
Although brief Benny felt empty handing Isaac back to his mother, “Thank you, both of you.” she beamed. Both Bull and Benny waved Amy away until the ambulance drove from sight. Amy was taken to the nearest hospital where she delivered the placenta and baby Isaac was given a thorough examination.

  
Marissa, Cable and Danny ran inside to escape the wind after cooing over the baby, once finally alone Benny pulled Bull asside, “Did you see that baby? I mean, he really was beautiful.” Benny spoke as the two watched Amy being rolled into the ambulance, waving as she waved back; baby Isaac nestled comfortably in her arms. “Childbirth really is...well...it's a miracle.” He continued rambling nonsensically. He paused for a moment, Bull could physically see the cogs turning as Benny contemplated and connected this thought, ”You know what?”

  
“What?” He asked, taking a deep breath, inhaling the cold air. 

  
“I'm going to keep it. Just seeing the look on Amy's face, the happiness. She really wanted this, even if she was alone and scared, she really wanted Isaac. I don't want to miss out on that being me.” Benny couldn't smack the smile from his face, his energy was radiating from the very core. Benny spoke with his hands, thrashing them around excitedly. The experience had left him flabbergasted, despite not having been the one to even live through the pain.

  
“If that's what you really want?” He hid his bubbling emotions well, clenching a jaw and narrowing his brows as to not get his hopes up or sway Benny's decision in any way. Although Benny could read Bull like a children's novel, the gleam in his partner's eyes was his tell, a complete giveaway that demolished his tough exterior.

  
“Yeah...I do.” He said to himself in a low voice, the heavy-set notion of realisation set in. Yet, his heart felt light as if he hadn't a care in the world, filled with joy and relief. A pair of swooping arms picked him up in a clumsy embrace, lifting him off of the ground momentarily before lowering him back down again.

  
“When do you want to tell everybody?” No doubt most of the team were just as eager to know as Bull was to run his mouth all-about-town.

  
“After the first period, apparently it's bad luck.” At that moment Bull was overcome with rampant fear, Benny was so much like his sister; in the way that he talked and shared the same ideas. He was afraid of the ultimate question, the outcome of this all - not sure he could put himself through this whole ordeal once again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for not updating, I don't have any excuses to give you so I'll hang my head in shame as I post.


	7. Chapter 7

The time was escaping the team quite rapidly which meant that there was no real time for celebration. Both Bull and Benny understood this. They made it a vow to appreciate the moment when the case was settled and their jobs were no longer on the line. Yet their happiness was impossible to shake. To those still in the dark about the secret to their madness, only assumed that the two were high on life after assisting with the birth.

Still, work went on, having court in the morning everybody went back to what they were doing before the event. Both Danny and Cable covered every inch of the broker division employee roister, Marissa created an algorithm that matched the jury pool with the victims of the scan. Benny, with Bull’s help finally cracked the secret to their success.

They needed jurors that weren't sheep, not blind followers to brands or organisations. Together the two compiled a list of questions that aimed to separate the desirable jurors.

Court hadn't begun with the best start. The residing judge, Judge Partuba held a grudge against Bull and kicked him from the court room to avoid - in his words, ‘jury manipulation’. Following some heckling from the opposition and a fruitless attempt at getting the judge to recuse himself; Benny began with his line of questioning.

He relayed the list of questions that he'd committed to memory, asking specific questions about brand loyalty. Benny thought that he'd done a pretty good job of it, only choosing jurors that dined at ‘mom and pop’ restaurants and those that shop at independent book stores.

Together with this final selection and Marissa’s algorithm, the team could begin running through a series of mock court sessions. Marissa also programmed the system to select a a list of suitable witnesses.

“How’s about we turn this into a competition, boiler room style?” Bull suggested, peeking everybody's attention.

“What's in this for us?” Marissa asked, very intrigued by the idea of a little friendly competition.

Bull though long and hard before answering, “a five thousand dollar bonus.” Faces lit up around the room as each member of the team envisioned how they would spend such a sum of money. Marissa would put it in her savings, Chunk towards his daughter’s education and Benny thought about buying himself a car; something he knew that he'd be needing before long.

“What about Erin? She brought us the case.” Benny suggested. Bull refrained from sighing overtly. In some twisted sort of way he felt slightly jealous about the attention that Benny had been dedicating to this new crush of his. He wasn't entirely sure why it bothered him so much, potentially concerned about his child having a future mother? Or was it the fact that Benny was dating somebody. For now he blamed his displeasure on the inappropriate and unprofessional nature of their endeavours.

“From Erin’s demeanour the jury will find her a novice in investment. At best the jury will believe that she was pressured into putting money into the stocks, but that there was no fraud.”

“I'll prep her, it'll be good to get her story out.”

“She can make a victim impact statement when we win.” Bull shot back, frustrated by Benny's persistence. “However, in the spirit of competition, Erin is officially your candidate.” Bull raised a brow, “Prove me wrong.” He challenged.

Given the next hour to prepare, the team each selected an ideal candidate and plead their case. Having listened to the suggestions given by his most trustworthy colleagues it became abundantly clear that he needed to head in a completely different direction.

“See what the promise of money has done to you? You all emphasised the positives and downplayed the negatives.” The group all gaze at each other feeling caught out.

“So who won?” Cable asked.

“None of you. Yet. I'll have to see how they do after witness prep.”

“Well, you need somebody to lead with, how about Erin?”

  
“Doesn't set the right tone...let her down gently.” Bull replied coldly, shrugging off Benny's suggestion. 

The whole competition had been a waste of time, as the team would find out when Sophia Dern turned up at the office, steaming with fury. Shoving the subpoena in Benny's face angrily leaving him and Chunk a tad confused.

“Who are you and why did you send me this subpoena?” She scorned. Chunk shrugged when Benny turned to him for some insight.

After giving the letter a read Benny replied, “You were a stock broker for Brannagin Trust which means that you have information essential for the case.” He explained himself.

Bull and Marissa watched from the sidelines as the woman flipped her switch and storm out of the building. Kicking over trash cans and needlessly crying out with distress.

The team set to run through as many mock trails as they could over the next few hours until court resumed the following afternoon. In the next few hours the team worked tirelessly but nothing they tried achieved a unanimous vote after deliberation.

Benny was exhausted. Running on very little sleep and an empty stomach, he couldn't continue with the trials much longer. Bull called a break after seeing Benny swaying hopelessly.

“You need to eat.” Bull demanded, “I need you to eat.” He changed his tone, feeling empathetic. Nobody had gotten much sleep in the last few days but Benny of all people needed to maintain his health.

“I'm not feeling it.” So far he'd not been sick, all day. It felt like such an achievement. That being said, it doesn't mean that he was feeling better, no, by all means. The nausea came in waves, throwing Benny close to the edge, only wishing he'd throw up and feel better.

“I don't want to bother you but it's not good for the baby if you starve yourself.” Bull had a duty to care for his crew but more importantly, Benny now had a second life to consider, Bull needed to offer a grater deal to protect Benny.

“I'm sorry but I don't know if I can manage...” Benny ate occasionally. When he got home from working he might have a sandwich if his stomach was stable enough. Still, not eating made him incredibly guilty.

“I'm going to the Chinese place across the street and I'll bring you something back. In the meantime, take a nap.” Bull threw Benny a blanket. Seeing as he never really went home, the office was conveniently stocked with pillows and sheets. Not forgetting the worn in padding of the sofa making a comfy resting space.

“I've never been so tired, I just want to sleep where I drop.” Even when running on fumes during the exam period of his BAR, did he not feel so exhausted. Coupled with the coffee withdrawal, he had no way to raise his energy levels.

“I don't pity you, that's for sure. I do, however, thank you for doing this.”

“What's another six months?” Benny replied sarcastically.

“That's the spirit!” Bull grabbed his jacket, “I'm off. If anybody asks, you know where to find me.” Bull left and Benny made himself at home, having fluffed a pillow and shimmied under a blanket, he drifted off.

Bull was gone for nearly half an hour and marched back into the office with a box pied high with a surprise meal for his hard working team. Benny's pregnancy hyped sense of smell alerted him to the warm Chinese all the way from the elevator.

He was positively starving.

Hair slightly skewiff, shirt unkempt and shoe-less, Benny joined the others to chow down. Bull had remembered everyone's favourite orders, a chicken fried rice and beef in black-bean sauce for Chunk, two portions of prawn chow mien for Danny and Marissa, vegetarian Singapore noodles and spring rolls for Cable and duck chow mien for Benny. Having ordered so much, the restaurant gave Bull two free portions of prawn crackers and a bottle of pop.

Like hungry scavengers, the team ripped open the box and grabbed what was theirs. Danny and Cable ate using chopsticks and the others with a fork, this always sprung impromptu lessons trying to teach the majority how to use the Asian utensils.

“Thanks Doctor B.” Cable spat through a mouth full of food.

Benny unfolded his box and stabbed his fork into the noodles, he hesitated before shovelling in his food. Having barely eaten enough over the last few days, it felt immensely great to fill his stomach - even if it was with greasy Chinese food.

He'd eaten and felt fine, he found that sensation hard to trust. An hour had passed and he was still helping himself to the prawn crackers, eating them like a bag of crisps. The merriment was suspicious. Benny thought it might have something to do with the fact that he'd finally made up his mind. Not only did he feel better, but also not as stressed. The weight of the decision had been lifted and the anxiety no longer upset his stomach.

An early dinner came to an end and the team went back to work. Benny left mock court to Bull - as per the big man’s request - so he could work on the opening statements.

The team retired for the night at eight and everyone but Bull went home, the legal team were to reconvene at court and the others back at TAC first thing in the morning.

Chunk caught up with Benny outside the TAC building, as Benny attempted to hail a taxi. “Hey, how you doing today? You seem better.” it'd been the first real opportunity for Chunk to clear the air.

“I'm sorry about the other day, it's these pregnancy hormones making me crazy.” Already, even before this first trimester was over, he'd cried more often than at any point of his life. The other day he'd almost broken down in the ice cream section of the supermarket when the store assistant had informed him that they were no longer stocking his favourite flavour of Friendly’s, the blackberry swirl. It was therefore understandable that he reacted in such a volatile nature.

“Nah, you don't need to apologise. I was just worried about you.” More so, angry with Bull for being knowingly insensitive. “You and Doctor Bull aren't pissed off with each other, what changed?”

“After being stuck in the elevator the other night I realised that I'd regret getting an abortion.”

“See, I knew you would!” Chunk laughed. He'd been saying so since the day that he'd found out, now not only was he happy for his friend's revelation, but also loved being right.

“Yeah, yeah.” Benny rolled his eyes accepting defeat.

“I'm happy for you.” Chunk paused, slightly envious that Beny was having this baby with Bull and not himself. After all, he'd take better care of the two of them than Bull would - and he'd love and be loyal to Benny, “Both of you.” He added. “I'm here for you, if you need to talk about anything or if you need somebody to go to the hospital with.”

“I'll hold you to that.” Benny said sarcastically.

Back home, Benny picked out a suit for the morning and a matching tie so that he could save some time when he woke up to have something to eat. Benny spent some time before crashing, to rehearse the opening statement he had planned, in the mirror. He'd gotten the speech down, including the delivery all before 10PM.

The alarm clock rang at six thirty the following morning and Benny jumped in the shower. He kept it brief, just washing his hair and scrubbing himself down. He packed a few snack pots of granola - having swapped his dry snack from crackers to dry cereal based granola. It was far less dry and had a better nutrients content.

The pre-court jitters were kicking in but Benny was a professional, he'd done this countless times. Then again, he'd never worked on a case where so much was at stake. He prepared a bottle of lemon water, sensing the impending nausea that had peeked the moment his nerves had. The last thing he wanted was to be far too ill to appear in court.

He'd begun to hate the commute to work, it completely unsettled his stomach no matter the time of day. Short of fixing all of the roads across the city or flying to work, he'd have to live with the torture.

When he arrived at the courthouse he met Bull at the top of the steps before heading inside. Together they took their seats in the populating room. Benny waited eagerly for Erin to turn up, every now and then he searched for her, trying not to catch Bull's attention.

And then she walked in, flustered and blown about by the wind. Benny thought that she looked beautiful. He stood to welcome her to his side. Bull glared, confused. He hadn't given Benny permission to offer up the empty chair, and especially after he'd told Benny that Erin didn't give off the right impression. Bull was a little annoyed by Benny's school boy attitude.

When the session commenced, Benny got up and delivered his opening statement, looking back at Erin the entire time for her approval rather than that of his boss.

When that was over the judge called for the first witness to come up to the bench. Benny looked over to Bull, flustered. Their witness hadn't shown up, despite the subpoena.

“I'd like to request a warrant for the arrest of Sophia Dern for failure to appear.”

“I'll grant the warrant. The court will give the claimant one hour to find Miss Dern.” The judge slammed his gable and the room dispensed.

“What are we going to do?” Benny exclaimed. This being Bull’s witness, Benny looked to him to make this right. An incident like this would be a detriment to the case. With nobody ready or worthy to stand in, it'd be impossible to carry on. Had the judge not been mad at Bull and by extension - his team, they'd have been given greater leeway.

“Just do whatever you can to stall until I get back.” Bull had an idea, but he'd need every single second of the hour that the judge had granted. Bull disappeared leaving Benny and Erin alone and quite frankly anxious.

“What are we going to do if he doesn't come back in time?” Erin asked anxiously.

“I don't know...I mean...the only thing we could do is get somebody else to testify. But nobody's been through the witness prep and-” He began before being cut off by Erin’s excited interjection.

“Use me! Nobody knows as much about this case as I do. Surely the jury want to hear from a victim first anyway.” She exclaimed.

“You haven't had any preparation.” Benny argued hesitantly.

“We've got time!” She pleaded. Having been told that she wouldn’t be making an appearance, she jumped at the chance to help out especially if it meant ‘sticking it to the man’. “If you've ever taught fith grade, an hour is basically an eternity.”

“Ok-” Erin grabbed Benny by the collar and pulled him forward for a lustful and passionate kiss. She'd been so thankful for the opportunity that kissing Benny had been the only fitting way to express her feelings.

It started with a small peck that escalated to something much heavier when Benny hadn't pulled away. Easing into the embrace, Benny moved his hands to her face and cupped Erins's cheeks. Benny had thought about this moment, but rather than pure bliss, it felt bitter-sweet. Hence why he began pulling away.

Not only was Erin a client of which fraternising with was against his ethical code of conduct, but he could hardly imagine starting to date in his current condition. Yet, he deserved to be happy and he'd already developed romantic feelings. It was all rather confusing.

The kissing had ended leaving the two slightly giddy.

Benny had given his best attempt to prepare Erin for court, although he desperately wished that he hadn’t. He should have trusted Bull’s judgment and kept Erin away from the stand.

The opposition‘s lawyers tore down Benny’s chance at a defence, having perfectly nailed Erin as a fool, somebody easily entrapped just like Bull had predicted. Erin was caught off guard at every turn, being ambushed by questions based on information that Benny didn’t even have. It was humiliating for the both of them. Their failure in court reflected their success back at TAC - the board was red, it’d be hard to claw their way back.

Bull was beyond furious. The team were lucky that he’d been able to track down Sophia and trick her into appearing at the courthouse. She’d performed fantastically on the stand, her ferocious testimony saw a complete improvement in the scores back at TAC. It still wasn’t enough, but Bull was adamant that they’d win no matter how.

Bull took himself and Benny somewhere private, “Were you not listening to a single thing that i said before?” Bull asked angrily. “What were you thinking, putting Erin on the stand?”

“I’m sorry, you told me to stall but I couldn’t stall any longer.” The truth being that he hadn’t even tried to stall, rather he honestly believed that he’d prove himself and Erin’s capability instead. “I thought that she’d do better. Come on, we just started our attack and Sophia’s testimony went well.”

“Not well enough. Your feelings for Erin have clouded your judgment, because of that we need to up our game” Bull said firmly. A part of his own conscience blamed his ignorance, he shouldn’t have left Benny to deal with the situation alone, knowing exactly how Benny’s feelings had already impacted the case, “I need agro Benny - Pitt Bull!”

He’d honestly would have been distraught with Bull’s accusations, had they not been true, “Alright...I hear you.” Benny was guilty enough as it was but incredibly thankful that Bull hadn’t pressed any more on the issue.

“Do you?” Bull reiterated holding the door for Benny.

“Yes! Alright.” He’d give Pitt Bull his best shot, with his energy draining pretty quickly. Yet he owed Bull his full commitment.

The team‘s next move was to call Brian Fuller to the stand, to cross examine him and bombard the defence with Benny’s aggressive tactics. Hot headed Benny pushed the judge’s patients to its limits in order to prove a point on the stand. By the end, he was warned to stand down. He was a little short of satisfied with his line of questioning but he got the job done and Bull was especially pleased with how things turned out. Although, it would take a little more persuasion to convince the last juror to see their line of reasoning.

Court had adjourned for a lengthy lunch break, giving the jurors some time to catch a break. Benny took this time to speak to Erin about their kiss earlier this morning.

“I think we need to talk.” Benny breathed, ”about earlier. That kiss shouldn’t have happened.”

“But is was fun wasn’t it?” Erin leaned in, trying to allure Benny into another kiss. He pulled away, turning his head and taking a step backwards.

“We can’t be doing that again. It’s unprofessional...you’re a client and you’re going through a great deal at the moment and I shouldn’t take advantage of you.” Dating a client went against his code of ethics, it was seriously frowned upon and he should have known better than to lead himself on. Not only that, but Erin was angry and emotional having been through such an ordeal, using this vulnerability was an outrageous move.

“Oh. I thought that you liked me?” Erin appeared hurt by Benny’s fast backtrack.

“I do...had the circumstances been different...” He replied in an effort to let Erin down easy. Afterall, he had genuine feelings for Erin but it was highly inappropriate at this time to act upon them - and this wasn’t just because of Bull’s influence.

“Maybe its just that you can’t handle being in a relationship.” Erin snarled, storming away angrily. Benny hated the way that he’d left things but saw no other option. Things couldn’t have continued.

Suddenly plagued by a series of cramps he took a walk to get some fresh air. The gut wrenching pain brought tears to his eyes. At times like this he had to ask himself how he'd cope with giving birth, with such a low pain threshold. He walked all around the courthouse and around the grounds for about half an hour before the pain began to numb. Although, he had doubts that this tranquil would last for very long.

The emotional rollercoaster that had been today had upset his stomach and so he no longer imagined stomaching the lunch he'd already prepared. Instead he ate two of his granola snack pots and a whole sliced apple. Together they gave him the small boost of energy he needed and eased his nausea somewhat.

He hadn't seen Bull so far this lunch which was entirely odd. Usually they'd spend this time going over what would happen next making sure that they were entirely ready. Not a phone call or a text message so far. Benny was then made to contemplate the idea that Bull was still mad at him for earlier. That or he was orchestrating something slightly out of line.

When court resumed the atmosphere was different. Bull had meddled with the jury and as a result, kicked out of the courtroom and Benny came close to being disbarred. The two had received a bollocking but their usual good luck had saved them from any real repercussions. Regardless, the team spun the events in their favour. Benny did his part and gave the closing statement. From there on, things were out of the team's hands. The jury were to deliberate until they reached a verdict.

Back at TAC the team paced nervously. Marissa had lectured Bull about his reckless behaviour when so much was on the line. Spending for this case was almost triple what they’d first estimated – a total sum of money far beyond their ability to pay back.

It took the jury five hours to come to a conclusion – Brannagin Trust was guilty of committing fraud.

The courthouse exploded with cheers, the victims sitting in the gallery were ecstatic. Big had not beaten Small, all those who were stolen of retirement funds and savings were set to receive payouts to compensate, giving many their hope back. Camera crews were lined in the streets to capture the moment.

Chunk pulled Benny aside having caught wind of the tension between him and Erin, “You should be careful you know.” Benny rolled his eyes at Chunk’s inadvertent accusations.

“I like her, but I’m in a delicate part of my life right now, so no – it’s not going to happen.” His own emotions severely impacting his judgment, now was not a good time to start a relationship with somebody. Especially when the foundations would be built on a lack of truth. “This whole baby thing would make dating too complicated.” Benny scoffed.

“What about Bull, you think that you and he are gonna get together now that you’re having his baby.” Chunk didn’t really know if he wanted an answer. Should Benny say yes, it’d probably be quite heartbreaking.

“It’s not like that.” Benny had gotten over the thrill and no longer really thought about his drunken blunder. At this moment in time, his feelings for Bull were completely platonic. “Besides, I’m sure that he’s seeing someone. I reckon it’s Diana, but he’d never tell me.” It had been obvious that Bull was seeing somebody. Although it appeared sparingly, every other weekend or so at first, Bull would fly under the radar more often than before. More often than not, he’d be unreachable from Friday night to Sunday evening.

“This mystery woman could end up your kid’s step-mum. Aren’t you worried?”

“Nah, Bull’s allowed to see whoever he wants.” Benny wasn’t concerned, he and Bull weren’t going to be together, they weren’t in love. If Bull had found ‘the one’ then it’d be unfair to hold him back. Regardless, whoever Bull committed to, it wouldn’t be anybody riskay – he wasn’t that kind of guy.

“I don’t envy you.” Chunk laughed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need you guy's opinions!   
> Instead of Benny's secret being that he's under investigation - it was him being pregnant. Would you still like to see Benny go through the investigation or just skip it entirely?
> 
> THAT and Jason has himself a girlfriend - I liked Diana's character more than J.P so....I'm not sure how things would work if I brought her in. 
> 
> Either way! I'm sorry for being so absent, I've been struggling with a motivation low.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, quite a few of you have been wanting to see Benny give Chunk a shot, so I've done just that! If you aren't happy with the chain of events then let me know!

Benny got into contact with Dr Huston the very next day, only to pleased to share the good news. “Dr Huston's office, how can I help?” a receptionist on the line answered. 

 

“it's Benny – Benjamin Colón, I need to speak to Dr Huston. Is he around?” he asked, not wanting to pass along any cryptic messages indirectly. 

 

“I'll pass you on.” Benny was put on hold briefly as the phone rang out. 

 

“Hello?” Dr Huston answered, chipper as usual. 

 

“It’s me, Benny. Have you got time to talk?” Benny asked, pacing the small space in his kitchen. 

 

“For you, I'll make time. What's on your mind?” 

 

“You were right, Doc. I can't go through with the procedure.” Benny felt his heart fluster at the mere mention, although everything still remained distinctly foreign – he knew now that the decision he'd made was the right one. It may have seemed as if he’d been entirely predictable and a touch melodramatic to begin with, but he’d chosen. 

 

“That's excellent news! How's about coming by my office on Friday for a fresh start?” Having kept the last appointment brief, the doctor suggested a much thorough look. After all, Benny was hardly receptive the last time they spoke. Now he could give the boy all information he might need for the coming weeks – and perhaps slip in a selfish motive. 

 

“Can do, Doc.” The team were not taking on any new cases this week which meant that he was free to manage his schedule as he saw fit. He very much wanted to see the doctor and beg for help, ask questions that he didn’t want to before. Importantly, how he'd manage the morning sickness. 

 

“Bring the father this time, I’m anxious to meet the man who has domesticated Benjamin Colón.” Both he and Benny exchanged a token laugh. 

 

“I’ll ask him...” Benny added. Although the thought of bringing Bull with him this time was a touch scary. Sometimes he forgot that it took two to make a baby, that things didn’t just happen on their own. His co-partner would be Jason and as such he deserved to be there through the entire journey; especially doctors appointments. He had to become accustomed to the notion, he wasn’t in this alone.

 

“I'll look forward to seeing you.” They both hung up. For Benny this call was a personal victory, after two weeks of battling with his decision, today marked the first day that he'd gone and been to work entirely happy (and a little, rather, debilitatingly; nauseous).

Benny woke up early on Friday morning way before his alarm due to a feverish case of hot sweats. He barely made it to the bathroom after rolling too quickly out of bed. The morning sickness had been so violent that it left him with a dull ache, having probably pulled a muscle somewhere. Sickness followed Benny around all day. At lunch he could barely even look at a cup of water. He'd forced himself to eat some walnuts and an apple around mid-day and oddly managed to keep it down. He sighed, knowing that half of his discomfort probably originated from being hungry but too nauseous to eat. 

 

The team enjoyed the relaxed end to the week simply filling paperwork from the class-action. The whole team were looking forward to a relaxing weekend, catching up on lost sleep and de-stressing. While the others had gone for lunch, Benny took the time to find Bull, having only now remembered to ask him to come along to meet the doctor. Benny searched what felt like the entire building to no avail. So he gave Bull a call, hoping that he too had only popped out to grab some food. 

 

“Jason, I've been looking for you. I've got something to ask you; just give me a call when you get this message.” Benny hung up the phone and waited for a reply. One didn't arrive for a further three hours. Benny picked up as soon as he felt the vibrations in the inside pocket of his suit. 

 

“Hey, sorry I missed your call earlier. What's up?” 

 

“Oh, well Dr Huston wants to meet you, he's scheduled an appointment for five this afternoon,” Benny paused, listening in to the announcements in the background of the call it was unmistakable. “Are you at an airport?” 

 

“Yeah... sorry Benny. I'm out of state for the weekend.” Bull stopped walking, he became troubled by his divided responsibilities. For a moment he contemplated returning his ticket and driving back from the airport. “Can you reschedule?”

 

“I'll have to.” Benny sighed, disappointed. “Well, have a good weekend.” 

 

“Give me a date and time, and I’m there.” Bull replied, eager to try and rectify his mistakes. 

 

“Okay.” Benny let out, rubbing his forehead. 

 

Benny hung up, “Hey, I’m really so-" Bull continued. “Benny?” He looked down to his phone to notice that his call had been disconnected. He clenched his jaw and moved past his guilt, knowing that he had a plane to catch. 

 

Chunk lightly tapped on Benny's office door before letting himself in,“I didn't want to eavesdrop but – like I said before, if you want me to come with.” Chunk took notice at how Benny folded in on himself. “You obviously want to go, so I can take you, I'll even wait outside if you want.” 

 

“Nah, I'll just reschedule.” Benny replied. 

 

“We'll go to the doctors and I'll buy us dinner, how about that?”

 

Benny paused, debating with himself as to whether it was a good idea. In all honesty, he agreed primarily on the basis of his deep routed frustration, “Alright, alright…” 

Benny grabbed his coat from the back of his chair and followed Chunk out of the office. “What are you feeling?” 

 

“Pizza. A great, greasy New York pizza.” Benny had been thinking about nothing else since ‘lunch’. The idea of eating anything other than pizza was entirely too distressing. 

 

“Pizza it is.” Chunk smiled, he loved to see Benny happy.

 

Chuck drove Benny to the hospital. After paying for parking, the two made their way through the maze and up to Dr Huston's office. Benny checked in and not a moment after being told to ‘take a seat', Dr Huston had come to greet the pair. 

 

“Benny my boy!” He opened his arms for a friendly hug.

 

“Dr Huston, this is Chunk Palmer-"

 

“-The father?” Dr Huston interrupted enthusiastically. 

 

“No...” Benny took a moment, evaluating whether or not to give an honest answer. His faith in Bull’s involvement was inevitably shaken, he’d have a better chance at getting Chunk to accompany him to all further appointments than scheduling time with the actual father, “he's a close friend.” He finally admitted. 

 

“Ah, I see. Never the matter, come in.” He invited the two into the room, where they sat down across from the doctor. “How've you been feeling?” 

 

“I gotta say, it’s been a rocky couple of weeks.” The pregnancy symptoms, the emotional burden and the workload had made the space between their appointments unbearable.

 

“I can’t possibly imagine,” He exhaled as he anchored himself to his chair, “Are you eating? The morning sickness still terrorising you?” He questioned, upon noticing how pale Benny was and his eyes were weighed down by grey bags. 

 

“I don't think you can call it morning sickness when it lasts all day.” The doctor winced sympathetically. 

 

“I'll make sure that he eats.” Chunk spoke up. Benny turned to him and glared, emotionless as if to imply that the suggestion was hardly necessary. Chunk returned the gesture with a brow raise implicit that he'd be doing it anyway, regardless. 

 

“Good!” He clasped his hands together in a happy confirmation. 

 

“What did you want to see me for, Doc?” He knew that there had to be something other than meeting with the father, to request his presence.

 

“Well, a few things. One of which is a big ask, on my part. Feel free to give an honest answer.” He took a moment before continuing as to thoroughly plan what he was next about to say. “With your permission, I'd like to document the pregnancy for research purposes.”

 

“Right?” Benny felt slightly ambushed. 

 

“I'd like to get your approval to perhaps release an academic paper on the subject.” He waited for any objections, “Again feel free to say no.”

 

“You can guarantee total anonymity?” As a lawyer he perfectly understood his rights and how to sue under civil law should his trust be abused. 

 

“Of course. Nothing will be published without your approval.” He hung onto high hopes. 

 

“Then you have my permission.” The two had entered into an oral contract. Whilst Benny was still slightly concerned about the potential risks, he also valued the importance of such a bank of knowledge.

 

“Thank you dear boy! Hopefully your case will help to better understand and help others.” Benny could sympathise with the Doctor’s motives. At the very start, the research the Doctor had gathered was vague and incomplete. With a better, detailed account documented it might save lives or at least guide in care. If only he’d have access to the same. 

 

“Glad to help.” 

 

“Well now that, that's over and done with, why don't we begin?” Dr Houston took Benny’s weight and noted it down in his pad, “Almost a three pound weight gain.”

 

“Three pounds?” Benny exclaimed. He’d hardly thought much about his weight gain, especially since he’d honestly considered the morning sickness to be dropping his body weight but still relentlessly invited a permanent state of bloating.

 

“That’s a little peculiar given your state of morning sickness. What’s your diet like?” 

 

“I eat little and often. Mainly nuts and dry food, when I can, I eat heavier meals.” He complained about the sickness but in reality he had really improved his diet. Now he ate at least three small snacks during the day and a dinner of some sorts in the evening – last night he’d made an omelette. He was steadily learning to cope, yet there were still bad days. “Isn’t that normal?”

 

“It’s a rather miraculous thing. It does however, make me wonder…” Dr Houston trailed off caught on an inclination. “I think that we should run another ultrasound.”

 

“For what, why?” Benny asked, gradually becoming nervous as Dr Houston dashed around the office preparing his equipment. “We did one two weeks ago.”

 

“Not to worry, my boy. Just lay back and relax?” Dr Houston laid out a new sheet cover over the hospital bench. Benny took off his coat and vest, Chunk took them to hold. “Have you been having any cramps?” 

 

“Some.” Being a slight understatement. 

 

“From the reading, that’s to be expected as your insides are changing quite drastically.” He hummed, pressing lightly on areas of Benny’s slight bump, “You look good, physically.” He continued by emptying a small amount of lubricant onto Benny’s stomach, then using the wand to smear the jelly across the skin. 

 

Both Benny and Chunk had their eyes glued to the monitor. Despite being a father, Chunk was in no way involved in the birth of his daughter – through no fault of his own. To him, it was a nerve wracking time, as if the baby they were to spy on was his own. 

 

Chunk squinted at the screen for a moment unsure but almost certain he knew exactly what he was looking at. “Doc, is that what I think it is?” 

 

“This is fantastic…” Dr Houston stuttered,”absolutely phenomenal.” He followed in awe. 

 

“What, what, what? What do you see?” Benny sat up frantically. 

 

Chunk took another look, making sure that he’d read the image correctly, “From what I can see, it looks like you're having twins – Doc?”

 

“You're joking!” Benny frowned, not being able to clearly see anything from such a blurry picture. “How is that possible? Last time we checked -two weeks ago- there was only one!” 

 

“It was probably the case that one was hiding behind the other. As we well know, twins do run in your family.” Benny’s mum was a twin, her grandfather had been a twin. The Colón family tree had a history of twins.  
“This does explain, quite readily, as to why you appear to be filling out quickly. The introduction of progesterone into your body – and in the greater quantity needed in a twin pregnancy – has given you this awful morning sickness.” 

 

“Speaking of which.” Benny’s anxiety plummeted to the bottom of his stomach and ran wild around his intestines.

 

“Both baby A and baby B are quite healthy. So long as you eat a little better and get plenty more sleep.” Dr Houston printed two copies of the ultrasound, one for Benny to keep and the other for his records.

 

“This is madness...one I could handle, but two?” Benny shook his head profusely. Twins were a lot to handle, a significant up in the level of responsibility he wanted to sign up for. 

 

“Take your time to process this, by all means.” Dr Houston added. 

 

Benny could hardly say no. It’d be inconceivable to even insinuate that his decision would change based on the addition of another baby to the mix. If he’d gathered the courage to keep and love one, having two is no different – that love wouldn’t suddenly disappear. If anything, he was grateful that he’d only have to go through the ordeal once. Two was definitely enough. 

 

The development only opened a large number of concerns; now he’d have to rent a new place, buy a car, and take leave earlier. He took a deep breath and tried to melt away the fear. 

××××××××××

Cable had been swivelling in her chair listening to music on her iPod when she'd noticed Chunk and Benny disappearing off together. Although she couldn't lip read, she understood that Benny was frustrated and this anger seemed to melt away when Chunk came along. She looked upon the station skeptically. 

 

Knowing Benny's secret had been relatively hard to maintain sealed. The secret was so juicy, it nearly exploded from her mouth every time she opened her lips.   
Seeing how the two had been acting lately, she drew conclusions about their relationship and spun a story; Benny and Chunk had slept together and somehow Benny had gotten pregnant. Bull, upon hearing the news was gravely upset hence why he and Benny had been fighting.   
Cable was itching to talk to somebody, anybody about this untold turn of events. When Marissa walked by, she jumped at the chance to relieve her troubled spirit, “Marissa, I need your help with something.”

 

“Go ahead?” Marissa elongated her response, urging with concern.

 

“I know a secret that I shouldn't and it's eating me alive. Can I talk to you about it?” Cable pleaded. 

 

“Oh no! You know that I’m not one for gossiping.” 

 

Cable jumped from her chair to grab Marissa before she could walk away, “No names, I promise!”

 

“Alright, what is it?” She sighed, really just wanting to call herself a cab and head straight home. She'd splashed out and booked herself a spa retreat weekend to unwind, and the sooner she went home, the sooner the morning would roll around – then she's off.

 

“Okay, so here's the deal.” She began, constructing the perfect line, “my friend is pregnant and she doesn't know that I know.” She hesitated to go on. 

 

“Then how do you know, if she hasn't told you that herself?” Marissa glared, uncertain as to where Cable was leading this conversation. 

 

“I dove into her medical files...” She trailed off, bracing herself for a stern telling-off. 

 

“Cable!” Marissa stomped her foot firmly, “That was a total violation of her privacy.”

 

“Which is why I feel bad.” Cable knew that she shouldn't have gone snooping in the first place but in her defence, she wasn't expecting to find something of such magnitude. A small illness, infection or bug – nothing to such a shock as pregnancy. 

 

“And you need my advice as to whether you come clean or not?” Marissa asked, a lot more calm about her friend's crime. Although, this did serve as a scary reminder of Cable's capabilities. 

 

“Essentially... yeah.”

 

“If it were me I'd forget about it. Pretend like nothing happened. When she's finally ready to tell you just act surprised.” Cable hadn't been expecting Marissa’s response. She half expected her to legitimise her own desire to come clean and tell the truth.

 

“I really want to get it off of my chest and apologise, maybe help her out a little.” Above all, she wanted to help Benny cope because it was quite obvious that he'd been struggling. So far, she'd been going little things like tidying his desk and helping to compile the bundle for court. Her actions were beginning to raise suspicion. 

 

“Cable, listen to me, do what you think is right. If she's really your friend and you know that the two of you can move forward, then by all means – tell her.” 

 

“Thanks...” Cable felt no better about the situation now than before.

 

“Do I know this person?” Marissa enquired, admittedly being slightly invested in the story. 

 

“A-a-ah! That would be gossiping.” Cable denied, trying to keep her friend innocent to the world of needless workplace conspiracies, “I will say this though, it’s big.”

 

“La-la-la-la I can’t hear you!” Marissa covered her ears and muted the world. The desire to know was far too strong. 

×××××××××××

The doctor had given Benny some fresh copies of the scan photos and estimated a delivery date for sometime in mid-May, although he emphasised the likelihood of an early birth. Dr Huston laid down the rules, some heavily impacting his work-life and others his diet. Trying to remain stress-free, to get plenty of sleep, and to never miss a meal; were some he'd probably struggle with. 

 

To clear his mind, Chunk took Benny out of pizza as promised. The two talked for hours about Benny's early life in Puerto Rico and how well his family would eventually take the news. Chunk had been great at calming the situation and helping Benny to realise that this latest development was yet another miracle.   
Benny had managed to pack away half of a large sized pizza of which he disgustingly customised with whatever he fancied: anchovies, pineapple and black olives. That in itself had been a conversation on how revolting the chefs must think he is, and how Benny already had the weird and wacky appetite of a pregnant woman. 

 

That is, until a phone call silenced the table. Benny hesitated before declining the call. 

 

“What's all that about?” Chunk asked, noticing Benny decline Bull's call. He hated to be nosey but that hadn't stopped him from being at the centre of all the recent drama. 

 

“When I called Bull earlier about the appointment he was already at the airport – heading God knows where.” Benny replied, giving his best effort not to appear jealous in any way. 

 

“Seeing that mystery woman of his?” Chunk suggested. 

 

“Has to be.”

 

“He does the same every week, but we still don't know who she is.” Bull had been highly secretive about the new woman in his life which was peculiar. The team all knew that Bull kept to himself often but were unsure as to why he'd hide something like this from even his closest friends. 

 

“He would rather shack up with a woman that he's too embarrassed to tell us about than come with me to the hospital.” Benny vented his frustration with his hands as he usually did. 

 

Chunk took a shot at mediating the situation, “Maybe if you'd have asked him before-"

 

“He promised to stay here this weekend, that once the case was over we could do something together – celebrate.” 

 

“Oh.” Chunk cleared his throat, “Well...maybe he just forgot?”

 

“He's not dependable. He's always doing stupid things without telling me – he almost had our case thrown out. You know that?” Benny still resented Bull for the way that he went about trying to secure a win. He'd risked everything then went and rocked the boat. 

 

“I can't believe him.” Chunk cursed. 

 

“I don't care that he has a life, I can do this by myself if I have to. Just, that he wants to be involved...and he’s-“ Benny could feel himself growing angry, “he’s not talking this seriously.” Despite pledging to do exactly that. 

 

“I wouldn't let you raise two kids on your own. Just like I won't ever let you go to the hospital alone – I got your back.” Chunk wanted, desperately, for Benny to see that he'd never be alone. 

 

“That’s all I’m asking for.” Benny smiled through the self-pity, “Chunk?” Benny prompted a response from his friend who seemed to be lost in thought. 

 

“Then pick me. I'm your guy.” It came out bold and brave. It was impulsive but no forced, he’d been thinking about making a move towards something greater than friendship but was deeply confused about Benny’s orientation. In the end, he decided that it’d be worth taking the chance. To possibly see Benny happy and loved the way that he deserved.

 

“What are you talking about?” Benny had been caught off guard, not understanding where these spur of the moment words were coming from. 

 

“I want you to give me a chance, I've had these crazy feelings for you for months now.” Although he’d never sat down and processed those emotions, it felt right to share them, and with purpose. 

 

“You're my best friend, I- uh.” Benny gave into the moment, watching Chunk’s eyes drift between gazing into his own and onto his lips. He’d been caught in this drift before and so succumbed. He nested his cheek into the warmth of Chunk’s palm as the man opposite drew him close. Benny closed his eyes and held his breath as Chunk’s lips met his own. Never having imagined being in this place, he grew into it. 

 

Chunk’s passion shone through the brief moment he shared with Erin and electrified his senses. As Chunk withdrew from the kiss, Benny couldn’t help but smile dumbly.“Wow...” He breathed. “You're not doing this because you feel sorry for me?"

 

“You’re literally the only person in the office who didn't know that I like you.” Chunk laughed. His heart rate was beginning to stabilise after taking such a big risk. He was elated that his advances were so well received, it hadn’t resulted in a sharp slap to the face or Benny storming away from the table. It had been perfect.

 

“If I’d have known about – that…I wouldn’t have had the anchovies.” Benny grinned, now alarmingly bashful.

 

“Don’t, that was absolutely astonishing.” It’d been everything he’d expected it to be and then some. “I don’t want to be that guy, but I have to ask. Would you want to start dating?”

 

“Are you sure that you want to date me? I mean, things are complicated.” Being pregnant, with twins no less – to their boss. Reality would dictate that life was only going to become even more complex and problematic. 

 

“Complicated is my middle name.” Chunk smirked. He was ready for this, he wanted everything that would come his way.


End file.
